Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Girlfriend changing plans on the day Watch

    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    She wasn't right in doing that... you should let her know you're unhappy with her actions.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by APonderingMind)
    She wasn't right in doing that... you should let her know you're unhappy with her actions.
    have done, she doesnt seem bothered.
    Oh well ill see what town delivers tomorrow night
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    She sounds rather immature, fair enough she can go out with friends and have a relationship, but changing plans at the last minute is not nice. I would have a few words and least tell her to make her damn mind up.
    This. On the money.

    I think it's just immature and I can relate to it.

    One of my ex-girlfriends done it to me one day, we agreed to get together on the wedensday to see a film like day or two before, in the morning i texted saying what time the film was at blah blah and see just said she was away out with friends now but will go if she's back later. My re-action wasn't the best as you can imaigne but I've learned from it big time. One of the worst mistakes we can make is to let women force their expectations upon us in this sense. You weren't mad, then she told you that you were mad or told other people you were mad a few times....and now you're mad. Don't fall into this trap. Realize how funny the situation is, its not even an issue.

    My girlfriend at the moment is about 5 years older than her, I couldn't even imaigne her doing that to me or anyone else in that matter.

    This issue which has escalated from nothing into a big deal in my eyes at the time.
    But now It's only a big deal because you're making it one. Confronting women is almost always a bad idea. People who command respect don't complain about it. At the end of the day. She is a woman. You are supposed to be a man. But from expereince try not to be as needy. Simply just Back off and Don't contact her with plans until she shapes up.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Different Cloud)
    This. On the money.

    I think it's just immature and I can relate to it.

    One of my ex-girlfriends done it to me one day, we agreed to get together on the wedensday to see a film like day or two before, in the morning i texted saying what time the film was at blah blah and see just said she was away out with friends now but will go if she's back later. My re-action wasn't the best as you can imaigne but I've learned from it big time. One of the worst mistakes we can make is to let women force their expectations upon us in this sense. You weren't mad, then she told you that you were mad or told other people you were mad a few times....and now you're mad. Don't fall into this trap. Realize how funny the situation is, its not even an issue.

    My girlfriend at the moment is about 5 years older than her, I couldn't even imaigne her doing that to me or anyone else in that matter.

    This issue which has escalated from nothing into a big deal in my eyes at the time.
    But now It's only a big deal because you're making it one. Confronting women is almost always a bad idea. People who command respect don't complain about it. At the end of the day. She is a woman. You are supposed to be a man. But from expereince try not to be as needy. Simply just Back off and Don't contact her with plans until she shapes up.
    This. I understand this. The problem is i got very VERY annoyed with her about it, so yes i voiced my anger at her otherwise she will think its fine to keep doing that.
    When i think about the big picture, yes it isnt a massive deal, but im still very annoyed by it.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    I'd be ****-a-hoop.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This. I understand this. The problem is i got very VERY annoyed with her about it, so yes i voiced my anger at her otherwise she will think its fine to keep doing that. When i think about the big picture, yes it isnt a massive deal, but im still very annoyed by it.
    Do you think the plans were concrete? do you think she thought they were? - Why didn't you set a time and somthing to do (suggestion at least).

    Exactly what behavior do you have a problem with? Her behavior up until the time you started acting all butt-hurt was standard flaky behavior that you exacerbated by making ambiguous plans with her.

    You havn't done yourself any favors with your voiced anger reaction to the situation, infact you have probarly made things worse for yourself and gave her a valid reason to be mad at you aswell. Unless you made major plans and spent money you can't get a refund on then you have lost nothing. It wasn't a massive big deal untill you made it one. You could have said. "If it's not too late swing by later, if not, see each other over the weekend' - Either she does or doesn't. You can tell her off another time that you don't respect or like that but you don't need to be angry about it all. People who unemotionally make other plans because the other person seems flaky don't feel the need to announce they "ain't hanging around." The just make other plans.

    You have your own life. Your life doesn't revole around her and realise that. You might not already have made plans but I'm sure your still able to. Sitting on an Internet forum crying and moaning over your annoyed because of what she done to you and because your not with her today / tonight. Nobody should affect your mood, yes be annoyed but you didn't need to show it. I'm on your side dude but there is honestly no point in analysing it to death, go out tonight and flipping enjoy yourself. As said don't contact her with plans untill she does, if you really want to you can make plans with your friends or doing somthing yourself and INVITE her along - Even if she doesn't come your doing it anything - Again it's your life.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    OP I do know how you feel, but not in the context of a relationship. I had this friend , the last time I saw her was... about May? Ever since there must've been about... 15 instances in which we have both equally arranged to meet up. She would say oh lets go sledging on Thursday , I would be like yeah thats fine, I'd get up early and get all my snow stuff out, and then I would get a text from her like ohsorry I'm ill.... and she would do it every single time.. even though she had arranged it... and then the next day she would be going out clubbing... so I do know how you feel.. I dont waste my time on her anymore...however please don't stoop to her level and do what she has done to you. Keep the moral high ground and talk to her about it and tell her how you feel.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by mrnightcat)
    I agree, it's not very fair to change things right at the last minute. Annoys people right down there. You're quite right to feel that way and after some time I hope she would understand.

    I used to have a friend who would change plans maybe an hour before we meet, which sometimes would be after I got on the train to meet up. Sometimes it would be perfectly legitimate like going with someone to hospital, but other times..."It's raining today so not a good time to meet." "Someone really wants to see me, sorry, next time please..." "Sorry you were waiting here for an hour, I got on a late bus and got stuck in traffic. Anyway, I thought you would have given up so I'm already going someplace else, sorry..."

    Put up with it because she was such a great friend when we did manage to meet.
    Such insolence!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I'd advise you to ignore it IF this is the first time, I mean c'mon, give her a chance.
    If she does it repeatedly just bring it up with her that you don't like sudden changes of plans.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Different Cloud)
    Do you think the plans were concrete? do you think she thought they were? - Why didn't you set a time and somthing to do (suggestion at least).

    Exactly what behavior do you have a problem with? Her behavior up until the time you started acting all butt-hurt was standard flaky behavior that you exacerbated by making ambiguous plans with her.

    You havn't done yourself any favors with your voiced anger reaction to the situation, infact you have probarly made things worse for yourself and gave her a valid reason to be mad at you aswell. Unless you made major plans and spent money you can't get a refund on then you have lost nothing. It wasn't a massive big deal untill you made it one. You could have said. "If it's not too late swing by later, if not, see each other over the weekend' - Either she does or doesn't. You can tell her off another time that you don't respect or like that but you don't need to be angry about it all. People who unemotionally make other plans because the other person seems flaky don't feel the need to announce they "ain't hanging around." The just make other plans.

    You have your own life. Your life doesn't revole around her and realise that. You might not already have made plans but I'm sure your still able to. Sitting on an Internet forum crying and moaning over your annoyed because of what she done to you and because your not with her today / tonight. Nobody should affect your mood, yes be annoyed but you didn't need to show it. I'm on your side dude but there is honestly no point in analysing it to death, go out tonight and flipping enjoy yourself. As said don't contact her with plans untill she does, if you really want to you can make plans with your friends or doing somthing yourself and INVITE her along - Even if she doesn't come your doing it anything - Again it's your life.

    best post in this thread tbh.
    I agree with you totally. Ive just been on the phone to her for about an hour discussing it.
    The problem with me is i discuss problems via text, so she texts back, but i should really call her instead so i understand more.
    Basically we only roughly arranged to meet up tonight, not go out for a meal or anything just stay in and watch a film. She doesnt see her friend very often, so she wanted to see her tonight, and see me Sunday.
    Fair enough i guess, i just felt a bit kicked aside sort of thing. But i did go very ott and apologised when i understood her point. The problem with me is i think im right, and i dont consider other peoples opinions.
    Arrogant/ignorant tbh, not done myself any favours but i guess its not like ibooked a hotel and shes bailed...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Liam 09)
    I'd advise you to ignore it IF this is the first time, I mean c'mon, give her a chance.
    If she does it repeatedly just bring it up with her that you don't like sudden changes of plans.
    Too late i have already made a massive deal out of it but we are ok now.
    It is the first time she has done it, the only other times she has done something similar is saying she would sleep over a couple days before then saying she doesnt want to on the day, but i just went to her house instead.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If i was you, i wouldn't give her the penis pounding for a good 2 weeks, that should teach her to change plans like that.

    I'm being half serious, this would majorly piss me off and my forms of revenge on people usually include calling them *******s of f heads, but i wouldn't do that to a gf if i had one. So i'd be forced to be inventive with it and that's all i can think of at this moment, seeing as how i'm really tired for some reason.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by damos92)
    If i was you, i wouldn't give her the penis pounding for a good 2 weeks, that should teach her to change plans like that.

    I'm being half serious, this would majorly piss me off and my forms of revenge on people usually include calling them *******s of f heads, but i wouldn't do that to a gf if i had one. So i'd be forced to be inventive with it and that's all i can think of at this moment, seeing as how i'm really tired for some reason.
    Considering she hasnt seen her friend in 3 weeks and she is a close friend, im not too bothered.
    I just find it hard to let things go
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    best post in this thread tbh.
    I agree with you totally. Ive just been on the phone to her for about an hour discussing it. The problem with me is i discuss problems via text, so she texts back, but i should really call her instead so i understand more.
    Basically we only roughly arranged to meet up tonight, not go out for a meal or anything just stay in and watch a film. She doesnt see her friend very often, so she wanted to see her tonight, and see me Sunday.
    Fair enough i guess, i just felt a bit kicked aside sort of thing. But i did go very ott and apologised when i understood her point. The problem with me is i think im right, and i dont consider other peoples opinions. Arrogant/ignorant tbh, not done myself any favours but i guess its not like ibooked a hotel and shes bailed...
    Why, well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake!

    I'm glad you have sorted it out mate and I hope you have learned a few leasons from it.

    Also. Texting and Conversations do not go. Make this another take home point for you. Never ever ever talk about anything important or the likes over text. Texting is very very misunderstanding - Even if the person sending the message thinks is clear and fine, the person readng it might not get it. Don't assume things and talk to each other face to face in the future. It'll save you a lot of hassle. Even if you are annoyed or whatever, keep it inside and talk to her face to face about it later on or just phone.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Text sucks, dude. Communication order goes

    Face to face > Calling > Text > Facebook

    Tip: Keep to face to face and calling (when first is not possible) for communication. Only text for information, not to simulate talking (ie time/location of a date)
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 17, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.