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I feel alienated at university because of my social class... Watch

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    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    You just don't explain yourself properly which, when combined with your ignorance (I don't think you're being intentionally offensive, but you aren't aware of life as a 'poor' person), comes off very badly.
    I get bored of typing it all out lmao, it's so much easier to talk! Yeah I'm not going to pretend I know what it's like to be poor, but it's not meant to be insulting.
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    (Original post by the maths guy)
    with all due respect, you ARE a posh ****
    I wouldn't say I was, but okay. :dontknow:
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    (Original post by .Ali.)
    I don't wish to be rude, but I want to ask you...do you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder about being working class?

    I'm middle class, and I have poorer friends, and richer friends. However, I've found a lot of people have personally been very rude to me, because "You're a f**king stuck up Tory, I hope daddy's credit card runs out and you fall flat on your arse. Posh prick" etc. Obviously that offends me, so I tend to reply with similar comments that are more relevant to them. These comments have been made to me when I've just opened my mouth and said something slightly intelligent, or they've seen some of the things I have. I even got called a 'rah' on here for wearing Jack Wills lol. :rolleyes:

    I'm not saying this is the case with you, but I've always found inverse snobbery to be far worse. However, I have at times (and still am) a bit oblivious to some of the difficulties of poorer people, it's not intentional though! So maybe these middle class people don't mean to upset you?

    I'm not trying to be offensive, but maybe lose the "I'm working class I won't fit in" thought system, and you might find it a lot better. As I've said, I have friends from working, middle, and upper classes, and we get on alright.
    I see where you're coming from (someone is seemingly neg repping everyone who's not working class here). I have both wealthier and poorer friends, and generally, my poorer friends talks waay more about money, status and differences between people than my wealthier friends do. I am nice and friendly to everyone I meet, but I sometimes get **** in return from working class people, simply because they know I'm from a certain background. It pisses me off, I'm just trying to get along here. I don't think it's worse than 'traditional' snobbery though, it's the same.
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    Don't people generally make friends on the basis of common interests? I mean, maybe I've been doing it wrong all these years, but isn't conversation basically just sharing anecdotal stories and ideas and wishes and hopes and regrets and plans and whatever else?

    I don't get on very well with either very poor people or very rich people, as their interests and anecdotal thoughts on life are so far removed from my own I don't really have a sensible response - e.g. talking about travel, foreign languages, and high-brow literature is of zero interest to most very poor people, and meanwhile when very wealthy people talk about house prices, finance internships and expensive restaurants it is usually of zero interest to me.

    But if you are at university with lots of similarly aged people, and doing whatever interests you (be it sports, societies, clubbing, reading, whatever), surely some of these people must have similar interests to your own?
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    I went to Bristol and there are posh people but there are also normal people can't you just hang around with them they are bigmplaces sonthere must be normal people.
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    (Original post by *Lollo*)
    I see where you're coming from (someone is seemingly neg repping everyone who's not working class here). I have both wealthier and poorer friends, and generally, my poorer friends talks waay more about money, status and differences between people than my wealthier friends do. I am nice and friendly to everyone I meet, but I sometimes get **** in return from working class people, simply because they know I'm from a certain background. It pisses me off, I'm just trying to get along here. I don't think it's worse than 'traditional' snobbery though, it's the same.
    Exactly, I mean, generally, I do have a lot more in common with middle-class people, but that's not to say I can't be friends with others, and still have things in common with them. I get really annoyed when people discriminate against me because of my background. A boy I go to sixth form with took an immidiate dislike to me "because she's living off daddy's money'. Wow, stereotypical or what? :rolleyes:

    I didn't mean the inverse snobbery was worse, I meant that you tend to get more hatefilled comments, and they go on about it more, so the degree is worse. It's really annoying. Make fun of middle and upper class people, that's okay. If we dare mock them back, that's snobbery. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by .Ali.)
    Exactly, I mean, generally, I do have a lot more in common with middle-class people, but that's not to say I can't be friends with others, and still have things in common with them. I get really annoyed when people discriminate against me because of my background. A boy I go to sixth form with took an immidiate dislike to me "because she's living off daddy's money'. Wow, stereotypical or what? :rolleyes:

    I didn't mean the inverse snobbery was worse, I meant that you tend to get more hatefilled comments, and they go on about it more, so the degree is worse. It's really annoying. Make fun of middle and upper class people, that's okay. If we dare mock them back, that's snobbery. :rolleyes:
    That doesn't really make any sense.

    If you're at sixth form, chances are you're still living at home on your parent's income? :lolwut: That applies to any class.
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    (Original post by najinaji)
    That doesn't really make any sense.

    If you're at sixth form, chances are you're still living at home on your parent's income? :lolwut: That applies to any class.
    I know, right?

    A lot of them have jobs or get EMA...apparently government money is better than 'daddy's money'. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by .Ali.)
    I know, right?

    A lot of them have jobs or get EMA...apparently government money is better than 'daddy's money'. :rolleyes:
    At least 'daddy's money' is earned...
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    (Original post by najinaji)
    At least 'daddy's money' is earned...
    Exactly! That's generally my comment back to them, to which they play the 'elitist' card. Erm no, if you're mocking my background, of course I'll do it back. Idiots.
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      My friend had this problem at the beginning of first year (this year) and was on the verge of dropping out but when she started making the posh people laugh she started making friends and now the class barrier doesn't really exist anymore. Just find things to talk about you all have in common (the uni, your course), don't take it seriously and just a have a laugh.
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      (Original post by .Ali.)
      Exactly! That's generally my comment back to them, to which they play the 'elitist' card. Erm no, if you're mocking my background, of course I'll do it back. Idiots.
      shutup you posh tw4t
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      (Original post by the maths guy)
      shutup you posh tw4t
      Wow, what a witty reply. :rolleyes:
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      #1

      (Original post by .Ali.)
      I don't wish to be rude, but I want to ask you...do you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder about being working class?

      I'm middle class, and I have poorer friends, and richer friends. However, I've found a lot of people have personally been very rude to me, because "You're a f**king stuck up Tory, I hope daddy's credit card runs out and you fall flat on your arse. Posh prick" etc. Obviously that offends me, so I tend to reply with similar comments that are more relevant to them. These comments have been made to me when I've just opened my mouth and said something slightly intelligent, or they've seen some of the things I have. I even got called a 'rah' on here for wearing Jack Wills lol. :rolleyes:

      I'm not saying this is the case with you, but I've always found inverse snobbery to be far worse. However, I have at times (and still am) a bit oblivious to some of the difficulties of poorer people, it's not intentional though! So maybe these middle class people don't mean to upset you?

      I'm not trying to be offensive, but maybe lose the "I'm working class I won't fit in" thought system, and you might find it a lot better. As I've said, I have friends from working, middle, and upper classes, and we get on alright.
      No, I don't have any chip on my shoulder at all. I know some people who are like you described but, in fact I am (and both my parents are) conservative voters, my mother campaigns for the Conservation party in our local area and has done since she moved to this country. I also have friends who are very, very wealthy (who I get on with well) so to answer then no.
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      I'm finding the opposite in reactions, actually (but it doesn't stop people being friends).

      There's quite a number of people from working-class backgrounds. I would have never considered myself middle-class (or any other class for that matter), but apparently I'm middle-class, and sometimes people get at me over that. For example, a working class guy who tells me I have it easy because my mum pays for everything.. well actually we both get a pot of money, I just don't need to pay mine back when I'm older. When it's gone, it's gone, my mum isn't going to give me more. Oh yeah, this guy spends four times the amount I do, and that is not an exaggeration.

      But really, although these things do come up, and despite what everyone says, class does come in the way for a lot of people. It's unfortunate that people don't see themselves as I did - unclassed. But hey ho.
      At the end of the day though, I don't think class will be the sole reason you aren't making friends. Hell, it could just be luck.
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      Hmm, are you female?

      If so then put that long tongue to use - instant friends!!!
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      Hard to say, I found 'Rahs' to have a very inward looking, insular mentality, well that's pretty much the working definition of Rah-ness... it's almost as if they only want to give the time of day to someone who might be able to do them a favour after they graduate.

      and yeah I usually manage to get on with people from different backgrounds too so I don't think it's a generalised chip on my shoulder

      BTW is that a re-post... Just we're coming up to Christmas now not Summer.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Hey there's a TLDR at the bottom. Basically, I'm in my second year at university now and I feel like dropping out, I'm going to explain why and I'll probably think about it over the summer holidays but, let me tell you why first.

      I grew up in a fairly working class area and although my family have recently come into money that's through hard work and dedication, despite this I still consider myself to be working or working-middle class. I'm currently at one of the best universities in the country (don't want to say which one) and studying a course I loved at the beginning. However, I'm having doubts over the validity and nature of the subject recently and experiencing a sort of existential crisis with it.

      During my first year I didn't make any friends and I couldn't figure out why - I did everything I was supposed to: I was positive, went to societies and sports clubs, wasn't desperate, went out as often as I could etc. Eventually my flatmates started bullying me and I was left with no friends.
      I thought there was something inately wrong with me (despite the fact that I had no problems making friends before). In Janurary I went to counselling and in Februrary I was diagnosed with depresssion for various reasons - including the lack of friends.

      At counselling we discussed various reasons why I might not have friends and things to counter that: I have a long tounge and often mumble so I got speech therapy; I sometimes interrupted people so I stopped that and let them talk more, I became less self centered, I learnt to read peoples body language etc. Yet there was still something missing.

      In my second year I moved in with a guy I met at a society who I was a little bit close with, although he was in his final year. I started to make friends, although it's a slow process obviously. However, all my flat mates this year are insanely middle class (parents pay for everything, one of them owns a range rover and a boat) and I just don't fit in. We just have completely different personalities about most things and we're starting to clash.
      Anyway I've noticed that although I do have several friends who are middle class, most "typical" people at my university (who's parents are relatively well off) dislike me.

      However, I've gotten on really well and instantly clicked with every single other working class person I've met and become close friends quite quickly. Also, my two jobs I had were working class jobs and I got on really well with my colleagues and the local working class people living in the city. Finally, when I went to visit my friend who goes to one of the worst universities if you look at league tables (don't want to say which one), I also instantly clicked with everyone I met there (although that might be because I met them through my mate).

      I don't want to be deterministic but, I think my lack of friends at university is due to my class background. I was wondering if anyone else who is at a relatively good university (Oxbridge, LSE, Bristol, Durham, UCL, ICL etc.) and is also working class or consider themselves to be working class has noticed this? And what anyone else has to comment on this (P.S. There have been some sociological studies done on these kinds of things but, I cba to post them now because I'm tired)

      TLDR: I didn't make any friends during my first year of Uni and I often clash with my well-off middle class housemates. I get on really well with all the working class people I've met at uni and I'm wondering if my class background prevents me from making close relationships.

      Cheers

      Thanks
      HAHA harsh reality
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      Honestly, I don't see what the 'big deal' with social class is. Its just money at the end of the day. If your clashing with them, its either culture clash due to values or perhaps a bad mix of personalities. So for that reason, it's easier to cut your losses with this people and find some other like minded people, you can't get on with everyone.

      At the end of the day your at university to enhance your understanding of your subject, get new and marketable skills and perhaps to enjoy the university experience if you are fortunate enough to fall into that category. So, for the sake of some bad luck with people just crack on - always got one mountain to climb at a time, big or small, its always there (speaking metaphorically of course.)

      Just take it down to experience, cut your losses and enjoy what you have there and put yourself in an environment, if availible, to best suit your personality and enjoy yourself!

      Besides, its nearly Christmas and enjoy it
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      Ugh inverted snobbery.

      Both my high school and my college were full of middle class people, in high school I had one friend, in college I made many close friends. How much money anyones parents had didn't come into it...
     
     
     
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