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Can't accept my looks. Watch

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    You have more than your looks to offer the world.
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    (Original post by Jelkin)
    You have more than your looks to offer the world.
    Not by the sounds of it. I think looks play >80% part in ones life. Neg me all you want, but people are almost obsessed with good looking people such as myself.
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    Hi, I'm Troy McCleur, you may know me from...
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    #1

    (Original post by TheSmithsIndeed)
    I'm not trying to put things in your head but if these thoughts impact upon your life SEVERELY and stop you from functioning normally socially etc then you could possibly have BDD?
    It's important not to self-diagnose yourself with this because it is rare and hey, I'm not a doctor.
    Tbh, you 'could' just be going through a phase and that would be the more likely situation by far.
    We do all have things we'd like to change about ourselves.
    I'm very suprised about the doctor's reaction; either what you said was silly or she was highly unprofessional/not aware of possible conditions.
    Really, the best thing you could do for now is talk to a parent/teacher about it?
    You say you've dealt with this for years...how long exactly? and how severe if you don't mind me asking?
    Since I was around 15, so 6 years. In what way do you mean severe? I've had suicidal thoughts over looks (though I've never done anything about them, and I very much doubt I ever will), I've gone to martial arts/boxing training in the hopes of getting my nose broken and getting free surgery, I look at my reflection in every mirror and window I can, as well (such as car windows etc).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Since I was around 15, so 6 years. In what way do you mean severe? I've had suicidal thoughts over looks (though I've never done anything about them, and I very much doubt I ever will), I've gone to martial arts/boxing training in the hopes of getting my nose broken and getting free surgery, I look at my reflection in every mirror and window I can, as well (such as car windows etc).
    LAD! (I can offer that service to you for a one off fee, and will happily re-break it if/when needed)

    edit: I have a mate with a big nose and I never even realised until someone else pointed it out. Haircut and clothes are probably more important imo.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Since I was around 15, so 6 years. In what way do you mean severe? I've had suicidal thoughts over looks (though I've never done anything about them, and I very much doubt I ever will), I've gone to martial arts/boxing training in the hopes of getting my nose broken and getting free surgery, I look at my reflection in every mirror and window I can, as well (such as car windows etc).
    In that case, I would genuinly try giving the doctors another go cos this shouldn't be ruling your life and do not give up hope! There's light at the end of the tunnel.
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    (Original post by Lazuliblue)
    Have you looked up Body Dsymorphic Disorder (BDD)?
    No offence meant to anyone involved, but what if he's just ugly? :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Lamps08)
    Not by the sounds of it. I think looks play >80% part in ones life. Neg me all you want, but people are almost obsessed with good looking people such as myself.
    They make a big difference to your life, sure, but personally I don't think my looks are the most important thing about me. I think it would be quite sad if they were.
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    Keep to dark places and live the majority of your life at night. People will worry you're a vampire, but at least you won't have to see your shadow. :top:
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    (Original post by KingofSpades)
    also, you're not an air conditioning system, and don't need to vent.
    So if you were mugged by 50 guys on boxing day, you would follow this advice?
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    You see things that other people don't see or even notice - you're your own worst critic. I doubt anyone else thinks of you in the way you think of yourself
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know people are trying to help by saying "you just need to accept them", but it isn't as easy as it sounds. Especially when you are reminded of them every time you see your shadow or reflection or somebody takes the piss out of you.
    People who take the piss are usually insecure themselves. Shadows are disproportionate. They make me appear taller. :moon:

    And I think there are plenty of attractive men with big noses. Alan Rickman is one :love: Actually come to think of it my boyfriend also has a large nose. Perhaps it's just me then. But that goes to show there will be someone out there who is attracted to your features.

    Even some of the most beautiful people are unhappy with the way they look. Catherine Zeta Jones thinks her eyes are too small, and she's gorgeous.
    Everyone has good and bad qualities, so try and look for the good ones. And there will be something, I'm willing to bet on that.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For years I've been trying to accept that I'm not good looking and that I've got to do the best with what I've got. I've done all I can to be 'good looking' - taking care of my hair, body, and trying to be a friendly, funny guy - but none of it has made me feel any better about myself.

    It sounds silly but the part of my that makes me feel worst is my shadow. I see my shadow out of the corner of my eye and I see all the ugliness and bad proportions (big nose, small chin etc) and it instantly destroys any form of confidence I'd built up.

    After years of physically and psychologically trying to get past this, I'm at my limit.

    This is more of a vent for me than anything, but I may as well try and get some help out of this: surgery isn't financial viable, so if I went to doctors would they actually help me or would they just shoo me off? (I've been to the doctors before and the woman just gave me this dirty look and said that she didn't think there was anything "that" wrong with me).
    Hi OP,

    Unfortunately I can't offer you any advice, but I just want to say that I'm feeling so similarly to you and at the moment it's worse than ever. Everyone tells you that you just need to accept it and to think of people who have major disfigurements etc, but that never seems to help. Thinking about people with serious disfigurements tends to just make me feel worse because it makes me feel like a horrid self-involved person who is not a worthy member of society.

    If only it was as simple as to just accept it, and get over it, I truly wish it was; I find myself constantly plagued with thoughts about my nose, my mouth, my eyes, my skin, my cheekbones, my breasts, my stomach, my thighs, my leg length, my height, my body type, my weight - pretty much everything! I don't know if you are quite the same as you mentioned just a select few things in your post, but because you're so affected by the sight of your shadow I feel like you might be in a similar position. I'll catch myself in the mirror and feel like I need to punish myself for looking so disgusting; like I should go and make myself throw up (I've never done this) or that I don't deserve to live. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're not alone, and while I'm sure you've had countless people who can't quite understand how you're feeling and how difficult it is to shake, you're not the only one. It's a shame we're both anon, otherwise I'd offer to PM you or something.

    I don't know if this helps at all, but I have decided I am going to see the Doctor in the new year - I know that I am ugly and the doctor can't change that, but what I am hoping that they can change is the compulsive feelings of disgust that are affecting my life in so many different walks: you start of being ugly on the outside, and this inability to just accept it and carry on with a smile on your face makes you an ugly person in the inside who is constantly worrying, panicking, snapping at people and generally making themselves ill. I'm not saying that you are an ugly person at all, I'm merely just explaining how I am feeling in the hope that this relates to you and hopefully you can find some comfort in it and the confidence to go to the doctor's - basically, it's not a silly idea if it's taking over your life so much. Good luck with everything xxx
 
 
 
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