I have basically no contact with any of my exes, and tbh I think it's for the best.
not being friends with your ex.. Watch
- 22-12-2010 16:43
- 22-12-2010 16:54
3 weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend and moved out, the situation was more complicated than I can go into but I started to realise he had turned into a not very nice guy and I had been compromising myself and my self respect for far too long, about a week after moving out and one particular meeting with him where he got very nasty and violent, we had a chat and agreed to be friends and then later friends with benefits. We met up the next day for the benefits and needless to say it was obvious there was a lot of feelings till there, we then tried a casual relationship but everything got very messed up. He ended up attacking me at a ball which we both went to seperately and now wont stop threatening me and harrasing me with very violent and nasty texts. So, as much as I would have wanted to stay friends with him, i think it was always going to be impossible. I think the best thing to do is cut contact, have a breather and reflect and relax! You can always be friends in the future xxx
- 22-12-2010 16:56
I am "friends" with all but one of my ex's. It sometimes takes keeping some distance at the beginning, but it is possible to forge a level of friendship with boundaries. It is easier once you have both moved on to other relationships.
If you had good communication in the relationship, despite your differences or loss of attraction, it will be easier to end up as friends. It takes a little work, but it is worth it as you probably have some friends in common and it is much more comfortable when you run into them. Usually that person will have some degree of loyalty to you and possibly could be someone you could rely on in the future with no misunderstandings as to intention.
I dont want to ever be in a situation where I have to avoid someone walking down the street. I would really advise to distance while you are feeling raw, and then suck it up and mend the rift (not plunge back in) by remembering the good parts of him/her and focus on that. Life is too short to put energy into maintaining discomfort.
edit: All this is made easier by not badmouthing him/her to your (and possibly his/her) friends when you are feeling hurt and broken.Last edited by Dary; 23-12-2010 at 01:52.
- 22-12-2010 17:12
- TSR Support Team
- 22-12-2010 17:14
I ain't friends with any of my ex's, like a lot of people say, think no contact is much better.
- 23-12-2010 01:56
But then again it really grinds me that even now you don't think I loved you lol. It was the other way round. I have no quarrel with your life choices, and frankly i've moved on. Just don't agree with a post which says;(Original post by op)
is it fair to say...that completely cutting the ex who doesnt love you back out of your life for good and forever is a good idea?
No lie, I will always love you. But you belong to someone else, and you don't want to belong with me. I can't compete with that, and frankly I don't deserve that. For too long I spent my time trying to please you after disregarding myself. Despite loving you, i am relieved to be from the relationship.
One day I hope you experience the hurt you have caused me, although i feel the ex before me left you with a few insecurity scars . One day you might, BUT in the long run I wish you the best of success in your long term relationships, your career, and life in general
anon. to protect our 'relationship'. please delete if you de-anon. I don't want to make our past relationship public.
- 23-12-2010 01:57
The worst possible thing you could do is be friends with an ex. Believe you/me.