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    (Original post by When will I know?)
    If thats how you feel.. it must be torture :hugs: really hope it works out for you.

    What sort of clothes would you like to wear?
    Yeah, it's how it feels. The real killer is as i've said, the fact I don't think my parents would ever look at me the same way again. Thank you for the support- it's been about 4 years like this now.

    I'd like to wear a variety of things, really. I'd love to get away with wearing tights, girls accessories, skirts, and other more androgynous things. I've managed to pick up bits that, when mixed, allow me to look very feminine or androgynous, and my parents haven't noticed it as such. It's often a case of getting changed after leaving the house on the way to a party or something. I'm very much into the Visual-Kei and OShare-Kei fashion (and obviously music) from Japan, and as such like to wear boot-cut bondage pants, sleeveless shirts, and slim fitting clothes to try and help the more androgynous appearance. I really associate with the style, as many of the artists are androgynous, or overly feminine in appearance. (Miku from An Cafe is like an idol to me- If I could look like anyone it'd be him. He's truly beautiful, and I must confess to having the biggest crush on him ever, hah).

    But, to be more concise, with the clothes, it varies so much. I love girls clothes though. I really love them. I just know that they don't "do" much for my appearance, so I tend to try to go more androgynous.
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    Sounds to me like you'd fit right in with an emo crowd. I had a 'male' friend who wore womens jeans, womens tops and make-up and got on just fine with them.

    But anyway, have you tried increasing your testosterone levels? It could be a hormonal thing. But if you really want to 'be true' to yourself, or whatever, you have to be prepared for the consequences. Some people wont like it. Many will be uncomfortable, and you can't expect that to go away.

    You have to make a descision. Are you brave enough to do soemthing about the way you feel? If not, then it's best to bury it now and move on and try and find a way to be comfortable as a normal man, or you're gunna end up unhappy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I do, haha. <3




    I'm older than that, and I still feel this way. I've come to terms with it somewhat within myself, but dislike it due to the implications it may have. I'm not sure that i'll ever be able to settle down with someone if they know how I feel like this, and I worry that i'm going to be very lonely. It would feel wrong to explain this to friends, but if I do, they'll likely shy away from me, or think badly of me.

    Above all though, I just want my parents to be proud of me, as they are my siblings (who have achieved far moreso than I have).




    No, we are the same end of the scale, I believe. I am male, and feel androgynous/female inside. I feel strongly about this, but unable to express it due to boundaries and the prejudice within society towards how I am.

    I will take your advice about exploring identities, but on the times I have been able to explore androgynous/female identities, I have felt happier, and more true to myself.

    I envy your transition in University! You must be very brave to do such a thing- but it must have been very nice to start off true to yourself around people who have no former knowledge of you? Could you explain what the "Diversity advisor" is, and give more detail on what exactly he done?

    And i'm glad that we feel the same on the feminine/androgynous Asian males
    Ah sorry, I meant I was the opposite end of the scale to most of the other posters who mentioned that might have had mild gender issues.

    Actually everyone knew of my transition at university, as I did so 3 months into the first term. I wasn't quite ready to do so at the beginning of term and couldn't bear playing the paranoid guessing games of 'do they know or not'.

    As regards the diversity advisor, they are normally somebody employed by the university for issues concerning discrimination based around gender, race, religion, etc... If you go to your advisor, they should normally be able to proceed with letting the relevant people (students and teachers) know of your transition and go about any kind of name/record change necessary. In my situation I was too shy to approach them directly about my transition, so I sent an initial email, which may be an easier way to 'break the ice'.

    Also, for you, is it more about the 'clothes' or how you are perceived in the clothes? Questions like this may help you discover who you are and whether you feel you ARE androgynous/female or whether you merely like to take the image of such.

    My views on it are: Don't let outside factors suppress or prevent you from being who you are. If you do, in the end, it'll just make things harder and harder, because such issues never go away fully, despite what efforts one might do over decades of suppression. In terms of parental relationships, or relationships with anyone that matter, it's better to have a relationship based on truth and openness rather than between them and a fake facade of yourself. I had a huge row with my mum when I first came out and it took years for her to come to terms with it, but I believe that with most parents, their love for you will overcome the difficulties of what such an issue might place on them.
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    dear me
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    It's perfectly possible to lead a happy, transgendered life, and alot of the universities in the cities have LGBT socieites, of which there is a trans community inclusive. There are thousands upon thousands of people like you, I vaguely remember a percentage putting it down as 1%, which though is small, when applied to the nation, returns a large body of people. Lots of people feel comfortable expressing there gender in different ways, whether it be a full, surgical transition, hormones, or just wearing the clothes of the gender they were meant to be. On top of this, gender can be considered a spectrum, with people identifying as the extremes of male and females (be they cis or trans individuals), or androgynous, genderqueer, poly gendered etc.

    There are trans communities on the internet and in real life. Seek them out and involve yourself in them, the people there will provide you with acceptance and guidance. You don't have to explore this on your own
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    Sorry, you're stuck with your gender. The only alternative is an oestrogen-pumped you with mutliated genitalia - there's no such thing as a proper sex change by mine, and many others' definition.

    Just believe that your gender has little bearing on your everyday life and you can be happy as you are.

    Good luck to you.
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    Go and get a gf for yourself. She will make you feel 100% male.
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    (Original post by Steevee)
    Sounds to me like you'd fit right in with an emo crowd. I had a 'male' friend who wore womens jeans, womens tops and make-up and got on just fine with them.

    You have to make a descision. Are you brave enough to do soemthing about the way you feel? If not, then it's best to bury it now and move on and try and find a way to be comfortable as a normal man, or you're gunna end up unhappy.
    Ack, I really don't get on with emo's that well, haha. And I think, it is time that I did something about th way I feel- and I think University would be the best time to do so.


    (Original post by Eien)
    Ah sorry, I meant I was the opposite end of the scale to most of the other posters who mentioned that might have had mild gender issues.

    Actually everyone knew of my transition at university, as I did so 3 months into the first term. I wasn't quite ready to do so at the beginning of term and couldn't bear playing the paranoid guessing games of 'do they know or not'.

    As regards the diversity advisor, they are normally somebody employed by the university for issues concerning discrimination based around gender, race, religion, etc... If you go to your advisor, they should normally be able to proceed with letting the relevant people (students and teachers) know of your transition and go about any kind of name/record change necessary. In my situation I was too shy to approach them directly about my transition, so I sent an initial email, which may be an easier way to 'break the ice'.

    Also, for you, is it more about the 'clothes' or how you are perceived in the clothes? Questions like this may help you discover who you are and whether you feel you ARE androgynous/female or whether you merely like to take the image of such.

    My views on it are: Don't let outside factors suppress or prevent you from being who you are. If you do, in the end, it'll just make things harder and harder, because such issues never go away fully, despite what efforts one might do over decades of suppression. In terms of parental relationships, or relationships with anyone that matter, it's better to have a relationship based on truth and openness rather than between them and a fake facade of yourself. I had a huge row with my mum when I first came out and it took years for her to come to terms with it, but I believe that with most parents, their love for you will overcome the difficulties of what such an issue might place on them.
    Firstly thank you ever so much for all the support you've been offering me. Would you mind if I pm'd you to keep in some contact? That's brave of you to make the transition 3 months into term, I cannot imagine that being easy.

    With regard to the diversity advisor, do they have to tell everyone? I'm not sure if it seems like it's just bringing unnecessary attention to the issue- but at least everyone would be clear on the matter.

    As with the clothes- it's a bit of both. I love wearing the clothes, but equally being perceived as female/androgynous is something I aim for in doing so. Despite my feelings towards the clothes, I tend to only wear clothes that I "look good" in- so I don't go out with skirts on, because they don't really 'suit' me in appearance, even if they are nice to wear.

    The biggest outside factor stopping me is definitely my parents - I can imagine a lot of family finding this all quite hard to take, as one member of my family would most definitely just not understand this at all.

    Thank you for your continued help!


    (Original post by AlligatorTears)
    It's perfectly possible to lead a happy, transgendered life, and alot of the universities in the cities have LGBT socieites, of which there is a trans community inclusive.

    There are trans communities on the internet and in real life. Seek them out and involve yourself in them, the people there will provide you with acceptance and guidance. You don't have to explore this on your own
    I'd love to find such communities, and hopefully when going to Uni finding them will be easier. As it stands, I live rurally and there is just nothing around.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'd love to find such communities, and hopefully when going to Uni finding them will be easier. As it stands, I live rurally and there is just nothing around.
    Well, if you PM me, I could message you a link =)
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    I have PM'd you, AligatorTears
 
 
 
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