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Your partner going on a clubbing holiday with friends? Watch

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    cheat on her when she is away just to be sure she's not got one up on you!
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    It wouldn't bother me, unless of course they had cheated before, but then again I wouldn't be with them if that was the case.
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    (Original post by edd360)
    No that's not what I am saying. I am saying if the opportunity presents itself where you can have a meaningless one night stand (as long as it is meaningless for you) just for the sake of having sex, then you should be allowed to do so.
    Ah well i could text a girl now and do that, it would be meaningless as shes a **** and i have no feelings for her. So that is an opportunity, so i should take it then yea, just because it is there?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ah well i could text a girl now and do that, it would be meaningless as shes a **** and i have no feelings for her. So that is an opportunity, so i should take it then yea, just because it is there?
    Only if you want to - which is the part you seem to be missing. You could also go for a long walk right now - should you take that opportunity just because it's there?

    What I am saying is, if you want to have sex with this girl, and you could do it without it it affecting your feelings for your girlfriend, there should be nothing stopping you.

    Think about it, girls say "I don't want a guy who just wants me for my pussy", but thats what guys want, so they need to get it from somewhere. Girls seem to want to have their cake and eat it too, but they can't.
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    (Original post by rhinger)
    Please tell me what happens in a club.

    Exactly.

    You, sir, are clueless.
    Have a rave? I don't even look at guys if I'm taken when I'm out with the ladies. Dancing =/= getting with a guy
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    (Original post by edd360)
    Only if you want to - which is the part you seem to be missing. You could also go for a long walk right now - should you take that opportunity just because it's there?

    What I am saying is, if you want to have sex with this girl, and you could do it without it it affecting your feelings for your girlfriend, there should be nothing stopping you.

    Think about it, girls say "I don't want a guy who just wants me for my pussy", but thats what guys want, so they need to get it from somewhere. Girls seem to want to have their cake and eat it too, but they can't.

    But surely anyone who is into their partner or in fact in love, would have a guilty conscience if they did sleep with someone else, drunk or sober, even without feelings for the bit on the side.
    Surely only the most heartless individuals could do that and carry on as normal without it affecting how you feel about your own partner or yourself due to the guilt.
    Are you saying cheating is pretty much acceptable as long as its just sex with no emotional strings attached?, other than guilt which is unavoidable tbh.
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    (Original post by Flibbles)
    Well, you're the one who knows her- does she still handle herself well when legless? If she doesn't, you have your answer.

    You know how some people still retain the power of coherent speech when drunk? These sorts you have nothing to worry about with.


    What the ****?



    Some of you are ****ing clueless.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But surely anyone who is into their partner or in fact in love, would have a guilty conscience if they did sleep with someone else, drunk or sober, even without feelings for the bit on the side.
    Surely only the most heartless individuals could do that and carry on as normal without it affecting how you feel about your own partner or yourself due to the guilt.
    Are you saying cheating is pretty much acceptable as long as its just sex with no emotional strings attached?, other than guilt which is unavoidable tbh.
    That's just because most people have been socialised into believing it's wrong. think about it, if my and my girlfriend both had this agreement, neither of us would ever get hurt. There's no explanation as to why it is wrong, because it wouldn't mean you love your girlfriend any less would it.
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    (Original post by edd360)
    That's just because most people have been socialised into believing it's wrong. think about it, if my and my girlfriend both had this agreement, neither of us would ever get hurt. There's no explanation as to why it is wrong, because it wouldn't mean you love your girlfriend any less would it.
    Would it upset you if you found out your dad cheated on your mum for years?
    I personally think it does mean you love her less if you want to give yourself to someone else. Why would you need to if you do love this person on a much deeper level than sex? If you know the person as a whole is worth more than a one night stand, you wouldnt do it. Especially considering its highly likely your partner would find out, some time...
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    (Original post by edd360)
    That's just because most people have been socialised into believing it's wrong. think about it, if my and my girlfriend both had this agreement, neither of us would ever get hurt. There's no explanation as to why it is wrong, because it wouldn't mean you love your girlfriend any less would it.
    You're the biggest jerk I think I've seen on TSR.
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    (Original post by Wren)
    You're the biggest jerk I think I've seen on TSR.
    And you are yet another narrow minded social norm influenced individual like everyone else on TSR. I know who I'd rather be.
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    Before I was actually going out with my girlfriend, she and her friends told me of their plans to go out to Shagaluff and get laid every night. I felt a bit uncomfortable then because I really fancied her and we were seeing eachother.

    Now we've been going out for 2 months however, I'm not worried about her cheating on me, becuase if she does then she can **** right off - I don't need her if she's gonna do that. You see, it's not only about trust. Whilst it's important to trust her (and I do - a lot), it's probably more important to remember that you can do WAY better than someone who cheats on you, and that they don't deserve you if they're going to **** around behind your back.

    This is also known as 'self-confidence'.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would it upset you if you found out your dad cheated on your mum for years?
    I personally think it does mean you love her less if you want to give yourself to someone else. Why would you need to if you do love this person on a much deeper level than sex? If you know the person as a whole is worth more than a one night stand, you wouldnt do it. Especially considering its highly likely your partner would find out, some time...
    It would upset me IF my mum was upset because of it. Which clearly shows that the action itself is not what would hurt me, but how others perceive the action.

    I really don't see why sex should be treated differently to any other act. If you have a girlfriend you don't have the need to hangout with anyone else or talk to anyone else or socialise with anyone else by your logic, but acts like these are considered different in today's society, for some reason.

    You still haven't quite grasped my point, which is that an act itself cannot be bad unless people are there to be upset by it. It's what the act symbolises. If you cheat on your girlfriend, your girlfriend will be mad/upset because she will think you don't love her any more - she will be jealous most likely. She's not actually going to be peeved that you have stuck your penis inside someone else's vagina instead of hers.

    If you know that cheating on your girlfriend will hurt her and you do it anyway, that's what makes you a ****, it's not the act itself. The act could be substituted with any number of things. As I have said, everyone has been influenced by social norms, which is generally why cheating is seen as a **** move, because "it just is", so if you do it knowing this, then you are a ****.

    Things like this are hard to grasp an understanding of, and many people misunderstand me because they don't actually have the capacity to comprehend my point, so they neg rep me instead because if you can't comprehend what I am trying to say, then yes I come across as an *******, but that's not really my problem because I don't care.
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    What the hell is wrong with everyone?
    Going to a club/going on a girly holiday doesn't = shagfest.

    Do you know what's most likely to happen?
    Bunch of girls get drunk together and one by one they have an emotional breakdown at various points during the night (crying and what not) then wake up the next morning and wonder what they got upset about.

    When I get drunk and go to a club I don't grind on other people or go looking for sex. I just dance, normally, with my friends. Nothing more.
    Me and my bf have been in a long distance relationship for the past 2.5 years and neither of us have cheated in all this time we've been at Uni.

    I think you're worrying too much. Don't presume she's going to cheat on you and for godsake don't cheat on her as a 'heartbreak backup' whilst she's gone (how stupid!!)
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    My girlfriend is going on one of these holidays in the summer as am I. I realise that there is no point in worrying because if I can control myself then I know she can as well, plus I know she's not the type to go round looking for lads. My only worry is that her friends actually plan to get on as many lads as possible whenever they go to parties.

    It's just something that you have to talk to her about OP. Be honest about your fears, but remind her that its not a trust issue. Get her to reassure you that she will be faithful and she just wants to have fun with her friends.
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    My take is this: all relationships need trust. You have to trust her in my view. I'm glad you say you both have lives- there's nothing worse than people who are constantly joined at the hip.

    It can also be a good experience. Something like this happens at some point in life anyway.

    I know that sounds a bit preachy, but I think it's true.
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    (Original post by edd360)
    That's just because most people have been socialised into believing it's wrong. think about it, if my and my girlfriend both had this agreement, neither of us would ever get hurt. There's no explanation as to why it is wrong, because it wouldn't mean you love your girlfriend any less would it.
    That's soooo weird. You're not a real man if you allow your girlfriend to shag other men LOLOL. I pity your existence.
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    I have an example last year:

    One of my mates is in a relationship with this girl (only girl he has been with) and turned down 2 girls on holiday including a barmaid. Now, unless he is with this girl for life he WILL regret that decision when older. Whilst we all respected his decisions we all thought the same that he will surely regret this in the future.

    Another of my mates in a similar position is in a relationship with another girl. He got with 2 girls on holiday, 1 just made out, and another all the way. He even met with her once sober and i think keeps in contact with now and again just as a pen friend, nothing more. His mentality was the opposite of my mate's in that you only live once and unless you are with that girl for ever then you WILL regret the decision when you're older. He also said if his gf did the same thing he wouldn't have minded at all but what happened on holiday in that regard never gets bought back home.

    It's all about your mentality. Do you want regrets when you are older? Do you want a bit of fun and are you that controlling to allow your partner not to have that sort of fun? My mate would never cheat back home, but holiday is seen as a different thing and i kind of am inclined to agree. You're with your mates and well no regrets eh?
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    Stop being so possessive and jealous
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    (Original post by rhinger)
    That's soooo weird. You're not a real man if you allow your girlfriend to shag other men LOLOL. I pity your existence.
    Stay in school, say no to drugs, go to university, get a job, get a wife, have kids, die.

    Wow, you have probably got to be the most common person I have ever seen on TSR. You're life must be boring as ****.
 
 
 
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