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Should I tell him were Brothers? Watch

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    That's the same thing as with my half brother, but I'll never get a chance to meet him. If I did though, I'd definitely tell him, just go for it, he'll likely understand..
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    (Original post by markberry91)
    I'll do my best to cut a long story short.

    I am 19. I have a full brother who is 20 and a half brother who is 24. My half brother lives 15minutes away from my home. He work's in Game station in the shopping centre, so I often see him out and about. The problem is that I know were half brothers but he doesn't. He was brought up with his mum and his mum's boyfriend believing that this man was his real dad. The thing is, as far as I know this man who raised my half brother has been there for him every step of the way and has raised him as his own, and has been a great father figure. However it hurts me so much when I see my H bro. I just want to tell him. But our real dad has never been involved in any of our lives so I think what good will it do even if he did know? but then I think if I tell him at least we'll have each other. My full brother's girlfriend Is having a baby next year so I would of loved to tell my half bro he is going to be an uncle. I don't want to be the one to break the news to him. I wish his mum would tell him, but somehow I cant see that happening. What do you guy's think I should do?

    My H brother (same father) introduced himself to me when I was 15 years old and we developed amazing relationship. In your case I think that your brother may know or have some idea. Go and talk with him and look what will happen.
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    (Original post by markberry91)
    A few times I have been standing near him in the shop and my Mum would say something to me like '' you look a lot like your brother''. I'm sure he know's she's talking about him. My half bro even used to work with me and my full bro in the matalan warehouse! I used to see him in the canteen. he was only there for about a week until he left though.
    When you say he may have other brother's, he does he has one aged 9. He has the same mum but a different dad. the dad is the same one he was brought up by. It's just so hard walking through the mall walking past him as though were strangers. It feel's to me that he's my brother who's ignoring me when in fact to him i'm just another person walking past. I feel that maybe I shouldn't of been told that he was my brother as he hasn't been told.
    I really think you should try to avoid him for a while and just forget he exists as the constant obsession is not good for you. If I were your brother I wouldn't want you to tell me at all, because I wouldn't want to get to know you and it would cause him a lot of problems/arguments within his family. Have you also considered that he might already know but just doesn't tell people and has no intention of getting to know you or your father? If you absolutely cannot forget about it then you have nothing to lose by telling him but keep in mind that it is likely that it won't be a wonderful reunion and will probably cause you and him and both of your families quite a lot of problems. All of the people saying 'you only live once' etc haven't thought this through properly. If his parents wanted him to know they would have told him and it makes it worse because his biological father doesn't want to know him. You're probably right that you shouldn't have been told, do you think your life would be easier if you didn't know?

    It seems like you want to tell him for your own benefit and I think you should really consider what might happen if you decide to go ahead with it. You say your 'full' brother is occupied with his girlfriend, do you think that you might just be looking for someone to fill his place in your life? Someone else made a very good point when they asked you how you would feel if a stranger told you that your mother wasn't your real mother but that your biological mother didn't care about you. It would alter your feelings about your upbringing and whole life so far and could affect your relationship with your parents, having been lied to for your whole life. Have this in mind before you make your decision.
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    (Original post by -honeybee-)
    I really think you should try to avoid him for a while and just forget he exists as the constant obsession is not good for you. If I were your brother I wouldn't want you to tell me at all, because I wouldn't want to get to know you and it would cause him a lot of problems/arguments within his family. Have you also considered that he might already know but just doesn't tell people and has no intention of getting to know you or your father? If you absolutely cannot forget about it then you have nothing to lose by telling him but keep in mind that it is likely that it won't be a wonderful reunion and will probably cause you and him and both of your families quite a lot of problems. All of the people saying 'you only live once' etc haven't thought this through properly. If his parents wanted him to know they would have told him and it makes it worse because his biological father doesn't want to know him. You're probably right that you shouldn't have been told, do you think your life would be easier if you didn't know?

    It seems like you want to tell him for your own benefit and I think you should really consider what might happen if you decide to go ahead with it. You say your 'full' brother is occupied with his girlfriend, do you think that you might just be looking for someone to fill his place in your life? Someone else made a very good point when they asked you how you would feel if a stranger told you that your mother wasn't your real mother but that your biological mother didn't care about you. It would alter your feelings about your upbringing and whole life so far and could affect your relationship with your parents, having been lied to for your whole life. Have this in mind before you make your decision.
    Your advice in particular has been amazing. thank you. A lot of what you have mentioned is so true and I can honestly so it refers to me.
    However you say try to avoid him. The thing is its when I'm out and about on the streets or supermarket is when I see him. When I see him we don't talk or say anything to each other whatsoever as he doesn't know who I am. I just see him as he's walking past or when he's working. I suppose I could avoid going into the shop.
    Maybe your right with my full brother and sister as well. Maybe as I don't see them as much, I may be trying to fill that space. You have made me think long and hard my friend. I will keep you updated as to what (if anything) happens.
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    Speak to his mother first maybe I guess. But DON'T randomly approach him and say "Hi I am your half brother" It won't be good.
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    (Original post by markberry91)
    Your advice in particular has been amazing. thank you. A lot of what you have mentioned is so true and I can honestly so it refers to me.
    However you say try to avoid him. The thing is its when I'm out and about on the streets or supermarket is when I see him. When I see him we don't talk or say anything to each other whatsoever as he doesn't know who I am. I just see him as he's walking past or when he's working. I suppose I could avoid going into the shop.
    Maybe your right with my full brother and sister as well. Maybe as I don't see them as much, I may be trying to fill that space. You have made me think long and hard my friend. I will keep you updated as to what (if anything) happens.
    Oh so he lives really close to you, sorry I got the impression that you were purposely going to the shop he works in. I'm glad you're thinking carefully about what to do, good luck with whatever you decide
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    If you have a car you should put your father in the boot of it after an angry confrontation then drive up to your half brother and declare that you are related. Remember to lock the car though.

    Seriously, though there have been moments in my family that we have found out we are related to someone by coincidently talking on the bus (the father in question was an ass) maybe start trying to casually talk to your half brother to gaged how much he really knows about his family situation and then some how weasel it in that you're related.
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    (Original post by Curly_hair_girl)
    If you have a car you should put your father in the boot of it after an angry confrontation then drive up to your half brother and declare that you are related. Remember to lock the car though.

    Seriously, though there have been moments in my family that we have found out we are related to someone by coincidently talking on the bus (the father in question was an ass) maybe start trying to casually talk to your half brother to gaged how much he really knows about his family situation and then some how weasel it in that you're related.
    Yes I do have a car but I wont allow My so called dad anywhere near.
    I wouldn't know how to approach my brother as to him I'm just another of hundreds of people that he see everyday who he knows nothing about so it makes it a bit awkward to approach him really.
 
 
 
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