Well, I guess I have a story too, though I can't say that mine had a happy ending.....
I met my (ex) boyfriend for the first time at an interview for the course and uni we now both attend. I knew he was coming because he had said so on (would you believe it) TSR. We had talked briefly on MSN, but nothing too indepth. I an clearly remember sitting in that chair in the Atrium and seeing him walking through the glass sliding doors, in a suit with a red tie. I started to get shy and nervous instantly, and in a funny way I sort of hoped that he wouldn't come over; I didnt know what to say or do...then he looked up and smiled at me, and walked very quickly in my direction - thats when I noticed how attractive he was to me I couldn't look away. Then He came over and shook my hand introducing himself, did the same to my Dad... then we sat in silence... glancing at one another and smiling every so often rifling through our interview packs.
4 or 5 months later of nightly talking on MSN, texting and such, we went to explore our new city (after finding out we had both gotten into that same uni we had met at during interviews) It was then I really started to feel as if I could quite happily spend hours and hours with him; strange as it sounds.... the first thing that really drew me in was the way he said my name. Everytime he said it, it used to make me tingle all over, and grin like a total goon! hehe, we made up so many little private jokes that day, it was great fun!
More trips followed, here there and everywhere (we lived 250ish miles away from one another). Then on a trip to the Peaks, up a cold and windy hill side, he asked to hold my hand. I never wanted to let go. We walked like that practically all day, and finally confessed that we might like to be a little more than friends. By then I knew I was falling in love... but wasn't sure just how deeply. In fact, though it may sound a little odd, I was a bit scared after ourfirst kiss - I didnt know what I was getting myself into, so many questions filled my head that day... but then one evening, we were snuggled up together in his lounge, jut casually making out, and he suddenly blurted out as if he couldn't physically restrain his lips "I love you."
I just stared at him.... he stared at me.
There was literally nothing passing through my head at that point other than "wow, wow, wow, wow,wow, dear lord girl say it back!!"
So I did. And my goodness did I mean it! I've never felt anything so strong, and so wonderful in my life. Those next few days were so magical and special I just can't even describe them. Leaving him to go home again actually really upset me, even though I knew we'd be seeing one another again very soon at freshers week.
11 months passed.... and somehow things just didn't go according to plan. I'm still not sure what happened... the first 3 months were great, chrismtas came and went.. but then he never seemed to want to meet up anymore, and I was afraid I'd done something wrong; HONEYMOON PERIOD =OVER I tried to get him to talk to me, but he clammed up. The I love you's never got spoken, and I felt as if he didn't want me around anymore, so I backed off and just couldn't find the words to talk to him when we were together; because I felt judged and unwanted, replaced by his new friends. But through all of this I still loved him more than anything else in the world,even though I felt neglected and ignored - I just couldn't see the fault in him - in my head it was all my fault and somehow I was a terrible person to make that wonderful man seeingly dislike me so much. It wasn't a shock when he broke up with me -I should have been the one to do it months before.... I can see that now. I'm also considering that actually... maybe I wasn't at fault as much as I thought. People change. He definately has - he's not the man I fell in love with anymore. When I fell for him he was quiet, and shy, gentlemanly, careful, considerate, open and honest and not at all laddish... and you know what...I loved him just the way he was. Maybe he didn't feel comfortable as he was and I remind him too much of that or he just wants to be more like his new "cool" friends and I don't fit in... I don't know- here is not the place to speculate. Whatever happened I don't blame him, nor myself. Things happen. You love and you lose love. Then in my case, someone else comes along who captures your broken heart and starts to glue it back together, peice by peice and actually makes you feel like a viable human being again... you start to open yourself up to him, and begin to love again- even though a few months beck you felt as if you could never look a man in the eye again- let alone let one into your heart and home. I guess love comes in different forms, ways and means. Just because the first love was explosive and powerful from the word go... it doesn't mean the second one will be. The new honeymoon period is just beginning, and it does feel wonderful and new, different by all means, but still very dear to me. My only wish is to one day find out and understand what really happened to my first love; the one I was forced to make myself forget.
Although we see one another at uni everyday - he wont speak to me now; so hope as I might I doubt answers will come easily. I know I have to get on with my life, I owe it to myself and my current boyfriend. It seems to me that dwelling on the past is futile. I'm sure he konws though, if he ever did decide there was anything he wanted to talk about- he could come to me without worry of insult and resentment ; there is no point in bearing a grudge - though I'll never forget how much he hurt me.
So no trooper6, not everyone lives in a fairytale world and believes in Peter pan; happy endings don't always follow through and love can be lost as easily as it is found.
Sorry for long post!
Falling in Love - the Honeymoon period.... Watch
Future African game vet
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Last edited by Future African game vet; 03-01-2011 at 11:59.
- 29-12-2010 16:20
(Original post by ScouseEmma28)
- 29-12-2010 16:27
I'm just curious to hear anyone's experiences of when they first fell in love with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Did you believe it was actually 'falling in love' within the first week or few weeks, or are you a bit more sceptical and believe that falling in love doesn't really take effect till after a couple of months? Is your definition of falling in love different to that of what your friends might perceive as falling in love?
Do you remember when you had your first little disagreement in the initial romantic love stages and how did you feel?
I just find the whole concept of falling in love fascinating and that everyone has different perceptions. I came out of a 8 year relationship 7 months ago and with him, i was friends with him first for 6 months before i fell in love with him. We lasted so long because we were (and still are) great companions. 5 weeks ago i met someone new and fell in love with him and the feeling is completely mutual. My feelings for my new boyfriends is completely different to how i felt with my ex - maybe that's because at 30, i look at the perception of falling in love differently than when i did when i was 22.
I understand most of you maybe 19 or 20, but im sure you can provide your own stories of falling in love
- 29-12-2010 16:30
M Scott Peck writes perfectly on what love is imo in "The Road Less Travelled". A book that actually changed my life.
He says that the real loving starts a few months in, once ego boundaries start to snap back into place. Besides a whole heap of other stuff, obviously, that I can't remember exactly.
- 29-12-2010 17:45
- 29-12-2010 17:46
There's in love with what they give you, there are people who make you feel in love with yourself, there are people who love that someone is in love with them, and there is being in love with someone. Most relationships are some combination of the top 3, very few are the last one.
(Original post by HermioneLockhart)
- 29-12-2010 20:24
i knew there was something different about him from the start...
but love developed slowly...and then it just hit me one night. sat up late talking, and i just felt it. id never felt that way about anyone and it grows more every day
as for the honeymoon period...i dnt think it ever has to end if you dont want it to. you can keep it going
we've had our ups and downs, but we've never really fallen out or had a disagreement. its always been a miscommunication that has left one of us confused and it mucks things up
but easily corrected with some good old conversation
i hate it when people decide they love each other after a week though. NO YOU DONT, YOU JUST REALLY LIKE HIM. IT MAY ONE DAY DEVELOP INTO LOVE....BUT NOT YET!
(Original post by Hester_23)
- 29-12-2010 20:46
I fell in love with my gf after a couple of months and it was the usual she's everything i need etc but after 2 years the spark just isn't there for me anymore she is an amazing girl and i'll never even come close to doing better than her, we never argue and i literally mean that not a single fall out but i dunno its really hard to expain after a while you just feel 'meh'. Its nothing like the movies it really isn't
- 29-12-2010 20:52
Yeah I was skeptical at first and I wanted to get to know him more and become good friends. He wanted to get right into it though but he waited anyways.
I never let it get to me too much though unlike him. 5 months in we declared our 'love' for each other.
Love it doesn't exist.
- 29-12-2010 20:58
I think I actually had a good idea after a month, but it properly hit me at three months...and we broke up just before four (I had the warning around the three month mark - it was to do with circumstances, not the actual relationship). I don't believe you're ever necessarily sure until things end. Don't know what you've got til it's gone etc etc.