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To what extent does a bad childhood affect relationships? Watch

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    Interesting experiences and comments so far.

    Trying to understand this as well....... I guess I never really had a very good childhood either......though it wasn't abusive or violent...... just that I had parents who placed above number 1 their careers, money and power. Spending time...... that was never really a priority. Now need to come to terms with this as it's finally eating into me, always seem to have this insecurity of losing my job.
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    (Original post by Iorek)
    How do you feel to this issue?
    Definitely does.
    I think it affects more in teenage/early adult years though. Because as we get older we tend to realise not every living person will **** you over.
    Or that not all men are to be afraid off if your childhood is related to something like that.
    But it depends if one gets such opitunity to move on and heal.
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    To the extent that you expect it to, and to the extent that you let it.
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    (Original post by Vampyrcorn)
    To the extent that you expect it to, and to the extent that you let it.
    I think this is partially true.

    I think that at the end of the day, you can't always stop it primarily affecting your relationships with other people.

    However,
    as you reach adult age and realise how it has effected you, you can try and overcome them.
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    (Original post by AshleyT)
    I think this is partially true.

    I think that at the end of the day, you can't always stop it primarily affecting your relationships with other people.

    However,
    as you reach adult age and realise how it has effected you, you can try and overcome them.
    Yeah you're probably right. I think it's very hard to get the balance right between

    - blaming things on the past/ dwelling on things/ making excuses for bad characteristics and therefore actually making the initial issues worse than they need to be
    and
    - thinking about the root causes of your problems and using this knowledge to prevent yourself from being affected by these issues.

    Very tricky indeed.
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    (Original post by Vampyrcorn)
    Yeah you're probably right. I think it's very hard to get the balance right between

    - blaming things on the past/ dwelling on things/ making excuses for bad characteristics and therefore actually making the initial issues worse than they need to be
    and
    - thinking about the root causes of your problems and using this knowledge to prevent yourself from being affected by these issues.

    Very tricky indeed.
    Aye, working out the source of the problem can be a tough one.

    But also i think the fact many people have to change in order to overcome difficulties. For example, not trusting Men, or distancing yourself from people out of fear of hurt. Sometimes one is forced, simply to survive.

    But then when that periods over...it's hard/near impossible to just switch back to being able to trust again .
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    If the bad childhood involved disfigurement to the face, it's surely going to affect the prospect of relationships even commencing. If the bad childhood has turned the victim into someone who seeks comfort from food, this is also true to my last point.

    On the basis that physically nothing has been altered significantly, i can only imagine that a victim of an abuseful childhood will have a higher propensity to emulate their mom or dad by being more prone to lash out at certain benign stimuli and this is just coming from someone uneducated in this topic.
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    Ugh, studying this in Psychology. Reminds me I need to start revising FML

    Well I didn't exactly have the best childhood, my parents split up when I was 3 and my dad refused contact with me, but I wouldn't say I'm damaged at all, I've had a long term relationship that didn't go completely tits-up and generally-speaking I'm emotionally secure.. I guess it depends!
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    its a bad sign when i read this title and an essay plan went through my head what can i say, Attachment Theory has a time and a place
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    #3

    Quite alot.. when I was younger I saw my mum beaten almost everyday by my dad.. I then started doing the same to her at a young age about 12ish, now that i'm 21 although i'll never forget what I saw I have a really good relationship with both parents.

    This in turn, has made me a veryyy shy and quiet person, i couldn;t even speak till 6th form, still then I got trampled over, and i hate people who speak in loud voices, or who use violence, scares me ALOT..

    Also, when I was younger, I saw how my dad;s brother's tried to stir crap into his mind and put him against my mum, this again left me with no hope on humanity.

    I was also bullied by my own cousins, which led to (still till date) low self esteem and confidence.

    Oh well, **** happens right? =)

    I just hope my husband doesnt ever lay a finger on me!
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    my dad was killed when i was 4, mum alcoholic for 10 years,

    just been dumped after a 9 month relationship as gf thinks i see her too much as a parent figure.

    defo think it has an effect
 
 
 
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