Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Sex Drive Ruining R-Ship Watch

Announcements
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My sex drive has always been insanely high. It's caused problems in past relationships, but I never really cared much because I didn't care about the person I was with. Now I DO care. My desire for sex is much higher than my partner's (especially due to a lot of stress my partner is going through). It has caused us to argue and it makes my partner feel inadequate and makes me feel unwanted. My partner feels offended when I masturbate as well. Sex is important to me, but not more important to me than my partner is, but I can't change how much I desire it!

    What can I do? I strongly feel there is something wrong with me because of my extremely high desire for sex and because of the way I feel when I don't get off. I get really frustrated, aggravated, and moody. It feels like withdrawal symptoms.

    Note: Gender was intentionally left out. Please do not ask me whether I am a male or female. I do not think it matters.
    Well it's obvious you're female.

    1. Because you think having a high sex drive is unusual, which only a girl would think.

    2. Because you say 'my partner', a sentimental thing only a girl would say.

    3. You say your partner is more important to you than sex, another sentimental thing only a girl would say.

    4. Because your partner is under a lot of stress, clearly because of work. You can't be under any stress because it's obvious you haven't had kids yet.

    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by sil3nt_cha0s)
    Well it's obvious you're female.

    1. Because you think having a high sex drive is unusual, which only a girl would think.

    2. Because you say 'my partner', a sentimental thing only a girl would say.

    3. You say your partner is more important to you than sex, another sentimental thing only a girl would say.

    4. Because your partner is under a lot of stress, clearly because of work. You can't be under any stress because it's obvious you haven't had kids yet.

    OP said shortly after posting that she was a girl anyway.

    Anyone can be under stress, even if they haven't had kids
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've got to say, you have to make the effort to not do the quiet and moody thing, it'll make your boyfriend feel **** (Y) I did it on a few occasions without realising and just got moaned at
    Thanks for the advice! I'm going to do my best to make sure I don't shut myself off from him. I know how much it affects him when I'm in a bad mood!
    I'm seeing him tomorrow, so I'm going to try my best to tackle the situation in a positive way!
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the advice! I'm going to do my best to make sure I don't shut myself off from him. I know how much it affects him when I'm in a bad mood!
    I'm seeing him tomorrow, so I'm going to try my best to tackle the situation in a positive way!
    Maybe to try to get his sex drive up to the level of yours, start by using your hornyness to do just do things for him? I can't imagine any guy who's sat just watching tv ever saying no to a blow job. Maybe if you spoil him he'll start to be a bit more like you and things can then be evened out?
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Maybe to try to get his sex drive up to the level of yours, start by using your hornyness to do just do things for him? I can't imagine any guy who's sat just watching tv ever saying no to a blow job. Maybe if you spoil him he'll start to be a bit more like you and things can then be evened out?
    I did try a spontaneous blow job the other day, but he just laughed and told me not to!
    I may try it again tomorrow...Or I will just try to do lots of non-sexual things for him (like make him cups of tea, etc) to make him feel comfortable and happy with me. Maybe he just needs to relax a bit more. I think my high sex drive intimidates him and makes him feel like he wont be able to satisfy me!
    • #4
    #4

    And when he does stuff with you, make sure he knows you appreciate it good luck
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And when he does stuff with you, make sure he knows you appreciate it good luck
    Thank you! I reallllly hope things work out!
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    bump, any suggestions about what I could/should do?

    @anttooking, I bet you think you're so smart. But you're not. Sometimes girls get off. I realize you may not know this because it's never happened in your sexual history, but it can happen.
    Female.

    lols
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by siwelmail)
    Female.

    lols
    I missjudged. And I apollogise
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I did try a spontaneous blow job the other day, but he just laughed and told me not to!
    I may try it again tomorrow...Or I will just try to do lots of non-sexual things for him (like make him cups of tea, etc) to make him feel comfortable and happy with me. Maybe he just needs to relax a bit more. I think my high sex drive intimidates him and makes him feel like he wont be able to satisfy me!
    Ha ha - yeah, I've gone to do things for my boyfriend on many occasions and been asked not to or told he isn't in the mood, doesn't feel clean enough, feels a bit grotty because he ate too much the night before etc... so much for the idea that men are always up for sex.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have the same problem, but didn't realise girls get it too! Incompatible sex drives suck, hopefully accepting rejection comes with practice

    I can relate to this. I have a high sex-drive however, my girlfriend and I have never had sex and it is putting strains on our relationship.
    • #6
    #6

    I know this is old-ish but you never did get any real responses from 'the other side', so:

    My ex used to have a sex drive that was loads bigger than mine, mostly because I was stressed and had quite a few health problems - going on the pill made it a lot worse, too. He definitely used to take it personally, even though I made it clear to him in other ways that I was really attracted to him. It's natural that he was the one who had to compromise, because while I really do appreciate that it's hard for someone to have to suppress their sexual feelings all the time, being pressured into sex when you're not in the mood can be quite a horrible experience. I found it really uncomfortable and upsetting - maybe it would be different for a guy, but I definitely felt like I was being taken advantage of.

    There are loads of things he could have done, though, that would have made it easier for me. He wanted to just fall into bed, have sex, and then either fall asleep or get up and carry on with whatever he wanted to do, whereas I made it perfectly clear that I needed more of a build-up than that. Whenever we'd lie in bed talking and cuddling for a little while I'd get in the mood, so I told him to just chat to me first as a kind of foreplay (though he never did - he ended up leaving me for someone who wanted sex as much as him, though I suppose that's a story for another day...). Maybe if you ask your partner, there will be things you can do for him that'll make him more up for sex without you feeling like you're pressuring him into anything.

    Hope it all works out.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It may be that ultimately your higher need for sex will have a negative impact on the relationship. I am not sure I could cope with the lack of sex/lack of effort he puts into sex for the rest of my life...
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I really don't think it's him. He gives me sex plenty and it's good sex. I have no complaints about the quality or his performance. I just want a way to decrease my drive for sex or better coping mechanisms to deal with the intense desires.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have the same problem, but didn't realise girls get it too! Incompatible sex drives suck, hopefully accepting rejection comes with practice
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I did try a spontaneous blow job the other day, but he just laughed and told me not to!
    I may try it again tomorrow...Or I will just try to do lots of non-sexual things for him (like make him cups of tea, etc) to make him feel comfortable and happy with me. Maybe he just needs to relax a bit more. I think my high sex drive intimidates him and makes him feel like he wont be able to satisfy me!
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ha ha - yeah, I've gone to do things for my boyfriend on many occasions and been asked not to or told he isn't in the mood, doesn't feel clean enough, feels a bit grotty because he ate too much the night before etc... so much for the idea that men are always up for sex.

    The good news is you’re not married and don’t have children yet (hopefully) and understand that you have sexual compatibility issues with your partner. You need to be thinking about where this issue will lead you down the road, say 10 years.

    Best Wishes
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 9, 2011
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.