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Need to get my messed up life in order Watch

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    (Original post by semiotically)
    You're still a 'teenager' dude & judging by your 'accent' you're hitting quite a few years above your age.

    Give yourself the space to figure things out. You're already earning 2.2K too much; can you switch to part-time & spend few more hours on yourself?

    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    :console: If it makes you feel better, I've been depressed for a while and I really messed up my A Levels too, but at least you have a job . I dunno, maybe you could come to TSR's Depression Society to chat with others who also feel down and could offer some advice?

    (Original post by Andrii)
    You've admitted there is a problem, and that's a great step to take in itself. Even more, you do want to change- so the willpower to do so shouldn't be a problem

    One thing that would help you out I think is to establish what you want- I mean what you REALLY want, both short term and long term out of your life. Don't just dream about it- write it down. It sounds silly I know, but by doing this you are re-enforcing it in your own mind...it's no longer just a thought but a material thing. I mean it's new year's eve in a couple of days...so spend these next two days figuring out precisely what you want out of each area of your life: financially, relationship wise, career, health.
    This way you'll have something to work towards and regain that feeling of purpose and will find it easier to stop being "lazy".

    If the depression is getting in the way of you being able to do things- speak to someone. Doctor, friend, family...a word of warning is that friends and family won't always understand so it's best you just have a chat with your gp. Or find your own way of dealing with it that is not self-destructive (i.e. NOT drinking/gambling). Sport? Keep a diary? :p:

    I hope you get through this alright, feel free to pm me if you want, I don't mind helping in any way I can.

    Thanks guy's taken your advice on-board.
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    Right.

    Are you wanting to go to Uni? If so , look into enrolling into a college to do A Levels again, and switch your job to part time if possible.
    Gambling/Alcoholism - best bet is to go to your doctors. They have groups you can go to/counselling etc.

    Do you have an aim in life?Because to me it seems like you feel kind of this is your limit. Holding down a full time job and earning money. Is there any opportunity for progress? Do you have a girlfriend you could be potentially moving in with? Any interests/hobbies?
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    You need direction. What is it you aspire to achieve, extracting yourself away from your current mentality when you answer.
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    Stop drinking and gambling - how hard can it be?
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    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    You need direction. What is it you aspire to achieve, extracting yourself away from your current mentality when you answer.

    (Original post by insignificant)
    Right.

    Are you wanting to go to Uni? If so , look into enrolling into a college to do A Levels again, and switch your job to part time if possible.
    Gambling/Alcoholism - best bet is to go to your doctors. They have groups you can go to/counselling etc.

    Do you have an aim in life?Because to me it seems like you feel kind of this is your limit. Holding down a full time job and earning money. Is there any opportunity for progress? Do you have a girlfriend you could be potentially moving in with? Any interests/hobbies?

    No opportunity for progress within this field that I'm interested in. It's a professional field but it was an iterim solution for me, not a field I want to be investing my entire self into. Im drawn to the extremities of public service (Fire, Army, Police, Coastguard etc)

    I'm not particuarly bothered about having a relationship. I've had one before and I've had sex before and atleast for this stage in my life, it's more effort than it's remotely worth
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    (Original post by UnknwnEntity)
    No opportunity for progress within this field that I'm interested in. It's a professional field but it was an iterim solution for me, not a field I want to be investing my entire self into. Im drawn to the extremities of public service (Fire, Army, Police, Coastguard etc)
    Be logical. You don't sound unintelligent. Create your path and walk on it. Apply for a Public Services course for 11/12.
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    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    Be logical. You don't sound unintelligent. Create your path and walk on it. Apply for a Public Services course for 11/12.
    Am I qualifed enough or do I have to pay for that?
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    (Original post by UnknwnEntity)
    Am I qualifed enough or do I have to pay for that?
    Is a 16 year old school leaver qualified? Answer that question and you'll have the answer for your question :giggle:

    You may, but that's a problem you will overcome once you get to it. Although, you do need some councilling to solve your infatuation with gambling, but even that is out there, you just have to do some research or be referred to a councilor by a GP.
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    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    Is a 16 year old school leaver qualified? Answer that question and you'll have the answer for your question :giggle:

    You may, but that's a problem you will overcome once you get to it. Although, you do need some councilling to solve your infatuation with gambling, but even that is out there, you just have to do some research or be referred to a councilor by a GP.
    You understand I do have a massive dilema of disclosing anything to anyone formally. Application to my aspirational careers are dependent on passing a full medical. I can't really afford to have "Depression", "Alcohol dependency" or "Gambling addiction" blemishing that record.

    This is a problem I feel I'm best overcoming, informally.
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    Do you like your job? Keep it, and aim for higher positions.
    Don't like your job? Look at what other opportunities you have.

    Maybe go abroad fro a few months and work in another country, a bar etc, meet new people, have new influences. Keep your friends close, as gambling (and drinking, unless you drink with friends) will decrease if you aren't stuck at home on the internet.

    Find other interests beside work and gamling - work out, get a dog, something

    Anyway, this is the "student" room, so most will advise to try to go back and get a degree, so this might not be the place to ask if you don't want to do that.
    Good luck with what you choose!
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    (Original post by UnknwnEntity)
    You understand I do have a massive dilema of disclosing anything to anyone formally. Application to my aspirational careers are dependent on passing a full medical. I can't really afford to have "Depression", "Alcohol dependency" or "Gambling addiction" blemishing that record.

    This is a problem I feel I'm best overcoming, informally.
    These blemishes are only as prominent as you make them out to be - you mind aswell take a thick, red marker pen and circle around all the hybrid traits on everything application you ever compose.

    Like I say, create your path. Emphasis on create. Will you start your journey to an aspirational finish line, with a hill?
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    So much garbage in life, a life within constraints, jumping hoops - societal bull****.

    Ultimately coercion, if you want to get by.

    Cheers for your advice people
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    Not having read all the posts, I can see myself being in your situation sooner or later, and i totally understand what you've been through. Tbh, there isnt much of a future unless you get back in to education. Instead of drinking and gambling, try learning in your own time and retaking exams, itll be tough at first, but you need motivation, look around at people with successful careers and you would soon feel like you should begin to change yourself. After A levels, aim for university, and then maybe you could enjoy your life there, meeting some new people etc. See that as an important goal you have to achieve. Then reapply for a better job.
    Hope I helped!
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    To be honest mate, your 19 and you like drinking and gambling, your not the only one. so do I, so do most of my mates, it's a not a bad thing in moderation.

    Do you drink alone or just go out a lot?

    The bit you said about needing to do all or nothing to make up for your past, with regards to what? Poker, work, life?

    P.s. you sound like a decent poker player, you've just got to know your limits, what stakes do you win and lose at? My advice is to wipe the sleight clean, don't worry about how much you've lost up to now, but worry about what you lose from now on. Find your most profitable level and stick to it until you start to feel yourself becoming a better player and always stick within your bankroll
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    (Original post by jonski)
    To be honest mate, your 19 and you like drinking and gambling, your not the only one. so do I, so do most of my mates, it's a not a bad thing in moderation.

    Do you drink alone or just go out a lot?

    The bit you said about needing to do all or nothing to make up for your past, with regards to what? Poker, work, life?
    I drink alone mostly, go out occasionally.

    With regard to all or nothing, I mean somthing drastic pertaining to work/life. What that would be is an enigma, but I'd wager my life on a decent payoff. Perhaps I'd work in the army, mercenary, somthing.

    I just feel the mediocrity and banality of my life, theres no risk, theres no reward - it's a continual flop, It's a long haul if you want to "be somthing", yet you're always big blind. You're often a slave to another's turn, then left to drown in the river. (Yes that's poker talk)

    I would never be happy in a "Normal" job. I need to feel alive, and I need to put my all in, every day..
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    (Original post by UnknwnEntity)
    Hey,

    I'm 19, male.

    I'm seriously messed up right now, and I'd appreciate any advice you can give me in context.

    I work full time at the moment, never went to uni. I earn a fair sum for my age, but nothing great (Certainly for the effort) but I get a good CV citation to say the least (I don't work in a shop or behind a bar, it's a very responsible job).

    I messed my A-Levels up. I did quite well at GCSE (2A's 6B's and 2C's), but ended up with an C and an E in A-Level despite being on track for an A, B and a D at AS level. I was never an acedemic, but have significant extra-curricular achivments that would be highly regarded in any professional field. I am capable of quite a lot, but I'm lazy, destitute and depressed right now, and I have been for a long time.

    I'm completely unmotivated, I feel I've failed and I'm wraped up in drink and gambling right now. It's higher than it's ever been the last month, but on average I drink about 160 units of alcohol a week.

    I gamble a lot too, because I earn a full time wage with little overheads it's easy to justify but it all adds up and it deeply saddens me. I only play online poker, and I'm very good at it (Give me £50 and I'm likely to treble it within the hour) but I am addicted to the thrill and the tilt - I move up the stakes - I then loose, chase my losses by depositing more, and the cycle repeats. In the two years I've played I've lost about £2.2k.

    I'm a wreck, I still have my job, but I've been off a lot recently due to proxy depression (I'm depressed, but made up an alternative excuse as to why I cant turn up) the last month.

    I was always expected, and expected myself to be somthing, I am capable - but I chronically push my luck too much. I feel like I MUST do something extreme, all or nothing perhaps - to regain what I have lost these last few years. I would happily risk my life for a bit of stability.

    I'm not suicidal, but I'm desperate.
    Become an escort, you'll get PAID for SEX
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    (Original post by PortiaLovesMcqueen)
    Become an escort, you'll get PAID for SEX
    Unfortunately I lack the STD's for that position. I only got an inconclusive in crabs, and failed all the others.
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    (Original post by UnknwnEntity)
    Unfortunately I lack the STD's for that position. I only got an inconclusive in crabs, and failed all the others.
    Haha just joking OP

    Really want to find direction?

    You will need 30 days and an hour a day to this plan

    http://celestinechua.com/blog/30dlbl-overview/

    Here is day one : http://celestinechua.com/blog/30dlbl-day-1-life-wheel/

    Bookmark both, I used to be a fat mess like you, changed my life!
    It will change your life and it's free!
    Start tonight as day one and do it every night before bed and think over it during the day
 
 
 
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