cant help feeling bad about gf's history with boys :( Watch

tibbles209
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#21
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OP I'm really sorry that you're getting so many harsh responses to this thread - retroactive jealousy is not something you choose to have, and you're not blaming your girlfriend, you seem to realise that this is your problem, not hers I have the same problem, and there doesn't seem to be much you can do to fix it. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now, and it's definately getting much easier. I think about it much much less than i did earlier in the relationship. I suppose it must just be as our relationship gets more and more serious, anything between him and other girls before we got together seems more and more insignificant. I hope that's some comfort to you - you won't feel like this forever!
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In2deep
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#22
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(Original post by Mask Of Sanity)
Why sad? :puppyeyes:
I never made sure you were 'pure' :sad:



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:rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: this thread is full of fail :nopity:
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Anonymous #1
#23
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#23
(Original post by tibbles209)
OP I'm really sorry that you're getting so many harsh responses to this thread - retroactive jealousy is not something you choose to have, and you're not blaming your girlfriend, you seem to realise that this is your problem, not hers I have the same problem, and there doesn't seem to be much you can do to fix it. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now, and it's definately getting much easier. I think about it much much less than i did earlier in the relationship. I suppose it must just be as our relationship gets more and more serious, anything between him and other girls before we got together seems more and more insignificant. I hope that's some comfort to you - you won't feel like this forever!
thank you so much
it IS getting easier slowly, i kind of knew that it would go completely eventually. i was just looking for help to speed it up cos its not nice for both of us
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Mask Of Sanity
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#24
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(Original post by In2deep)
I never made sure you were 'pure' :sad:



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:rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: this thread is full of fail :nopity:
If it helps... I've never been as impure as I am with you. :puppyeyes:

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It is. But, I'll make sure I remind you, especially before you get married. :rofl:
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iCattie
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#25
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It highly unlikely you will find a girl who hasn't ever kissed or touched a guy (especially the older you get). I guess you just need to find a way to forget it! They mean nothing to her now as she is with you, just remember that
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When will I know?
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(Original post by Anonymous)
first of all try reading the thread.

i didnt say it was bad, i just said it makes me feel bad to think of her n other ppl in the past. is there a way for ME to get over it?
Grow up.

How old are you??
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Anonymous #1
#27
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(Original post by iCattie)
It highly unlikely you will find a girl who hasn't ever kissed or touched a guy (especially the older you get). I guess you just need to find a way to forget it! They mean nothing to her now as she is with you, just remember that
i dont want another girl, i know its normal for that stuff. i just want to be able to get over it cos it makes me feel bad sometimes if i think of it. its slowy improving though.
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PapaShmurff
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#28
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Grow some balls and deal with it?
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iCattie
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#29
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i dont want another girl, i know its normal for that stuff. i just want to be able to get over it cos it makes me feel bad sometimes if i think of it. its slowy improving though.
I understand. But like I said you should try to not let it bother you as she is with you now, so they aren't relevant & are the past, so try not to let it affect you x
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spocckka
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#30
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Well I understand mate. I feel the same way about mine. It's tough.
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Anonymous #1
#31
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#31
(Original post by Arenas123)
Are you mad because she's done too much or too little ?
its not about what she has or hasnt done, its just i feel bad if i think of it sometimes. so i wanna get rid of that feeling completely, its got nothing to do with her, its my problem.
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tibbles209
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#32
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(Original post by Anonymous)
its not about what she has or hasnt done, its just i feel bad if i think of it sometimes. so i wanna get rid of that feeling completely, its got nothing to do with her, its my problem.
Could I please ask... is she your first everything or do you have a history with other girls? I think people often find it more difficult to deal with their first real partner's past than relationships later on when both partners have a past. I hope this gets better for you soon, it's a really horrible problem to have
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Anonymous #1
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#33
(Original post by tibbles209)
Could I please ask... is she your first everything or do you have a history with other girls? I think people often find it more difficult to deal with their first real partner's past than relationships later on when both partners have a past. I hope this gets better for you soon, it's a really horrible problem to have
i have a similar experience as her, but shes done it more.
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Redemption
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#34
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Don't you feel worse that she might've lied to you - and have done a whole lot more with guys that aren't you?
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Arenas123
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#35
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(Original post by Anonymous)
its not about what she has or hasnt done, its just i feel bad if i think of it sometimes. so i wanna get rid of that feeling completely, its got nothing to do with her, its my problem.
People perceive sexuality differently.

Some people will be completely fine with it. I know a girl and her dad has absolutely no issue with her and her bf having sex loudly upstairs and I know dads who wont even let boys upstairs in their house (I know this is your gf but it's similar in terms of how you regard sex). I'm not saying either one is right

I'm assuming you haven't had sex though ? Or not a lot it. I'd say you need to accept that everyone has sex and it's natural etc. but that wont help. Nobody likes to think of anyone they care about having sex. For most people it takes things like an ex or someone else who has had sex with your gf to be in front of you before you get weird about it. It's completely normal to feel the way you do however society these days doesn't fit well with seeing sex the way you do.

Yes this is something in modern day society you will have to get over. It is pretty uncommon these days for people to only have one sexual partner all their life. Unless you want to find a girl who is waiting etc. but that isn't a very good way to select a partner is it ? Just remember everyone is like you to some degree, you are just more sensitive about it than others. Talk to your gf about it, you have to be clear that it's your issue and you aren't in any way upset with her about it. Hopefully she will understand and help you through it with some kind words/reassurances. It's also important she knows you feel this way because it will affect the way she acts around other guys in front of you.
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Anonymous #1
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#36
(Original post by Redemption)
Don't you feel worse that she might've lied to you - and have done a whole lot more with guys that aren't you?
nice try, but u failed
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Anonymous #1
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#37
(Original post by Arenas123)
People perceive sexuality differently.

Some people will be completely fine with it. I know a girl and her dad has absolutely no issue with her and her bf having sex loudly upstairs and I know dads who wont even let boys upstairs in their house (I know this is your gf but it's similar in terms of how you regard sex). I'm not saying either one is right

I'm assuming you haven't had sex though ? Or not a lot it. I'd say you need to accept that everyone has sex and it's natural etc. but that wont help. Nobody likes to think of anyone they care about having sex. For most people it takes things like an ex or someone else who has had sex with your gf to be in front of you before you get weird about it. It's completely normal to feel the way you do however society these days doesn't fit well with seeing sex the way you do.

Yes this is something in modern day society you will have to get over. It is pretty uncommon these days for people to only have one sexual partner all their life. Unless you want to find a girl who is waiting etc. but that isn't a very good way to select a partner is it ? Just remember everyone is like you to some degree, you are just more sensitive about it than others. Talk to your gf about it, you have to be clear that it's your issue and you aren't in any way upset with her about it. Hopefully she will understand and help you through it with some kind words/reassurances. It's also important she knows you feel this way because it will affect the way she acts around other guys in front of you.
she hasnt had sex. but yea she knows and i tell her its not her fault. we talk about it and it helps and its slowly getting better.
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Arenas123
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#38
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(Original post by Anonymous)
she hasnt had sex. but yea she knows and i tell her its not her fault. we talk about it and it helps and its slowly getting better.
In your mind you associate it with sex. Anything you wouldn't do with a family member e.g. kissing and fondling like she did is going to seem at least a little bit sexual. I used sex as an example because I've never encountered feelings like this in just kissing fondling, well from partners anyway. Some fathers can barely stand seeing someone holding hands with their daughters, even seeing distant family members hugging them annoys them so you aren't in the worst case. I just extrapolated it.
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AP1989
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#39
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I know how you feel.
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username91207
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#40
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My boyfriend was the complete opposite when we got together, he was a little... not worried, I guess, but it did bother him a little that I'd never so much as hugged a male
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