They're driving me insane! :( Watch

Roobsa
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Anonymous)
They hated it when i hung around a really good friend of mine who was Gay (because they thought he might have AIDs).
Forget all the other reasons, this alone is why you should stand up to them. It's a despicable attitude to have.

You're nearly 19 and you're allowing them to treat you like a little kid.
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Anonymous #1
#22
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#22
(Original post by Sprockette)
I've kind of had that, I didn't get let out (I mean ever, I had never stood in a pub or been out late (well, I snuck out a few times) before I went to uni) til I went to uni. I would have been expected to come home every weekend if I had been living in the same country - thank god I wasn't!!! They came over with me (Ireland to Edinburgh) when I moved over too, I was a very protected child! Still am actually... What annoyed me most was my mum wouldn't let me go to Freshers week and to this day she keeps mentioning whenever she hears other parents talking about Freshers - "What was Freshers like for you, etc?" - uh, well if you've forgotten that you wouldn't let me go to Freshers, I sure as hell haven't!!!! Rant, sorry...

I would really try to find a way to stop them coming with you moving in and maybe try and live in halls if you can or at least with others in a flat. How far away are you moving from home? I'd suggest faaaaar!

As exams are pretty close (aren't they?), maybe this isn't the time to rebel... After exams try a little at a time, going to an exams party or something. Don't go overboard as they'll want to protect you even more if you go out and get drunk or stay too late.

:eek: - i would hate for my parent to stop me from going to freshers - it one of the things i'm most looking forward to
I've applied to live in halls & i'm moving approx 130 miles away (2hrs & a bit by train - not including travel to & from stations).

I doubt i will do anything now - as like you've mentioned its exam period & i'm channeling all my frustration into motivation for revision. But afterwards i think i will try.

I'm really sorry to hear about your parents (i know exactly how you feel).

Do you have any tips on how to persuade them no to help me 'settle in'.
It would give such a wrong impression if my parents help me move in & insist on saying to meet all my room mates, telling me which ones not to hang out with & giving us all lecture on staying safe and not going out too late. I don't think i can handle the embarrassment.
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Anonymous #1
#23
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#23
(Original post by Roobsa)
Forget all the other reasons, this alone is why you should stand up to them. It's a despicable attitude to have.

You're nearly 19 and you're allowing them to treat you like a little kid.
But i feel as though i can't rebel!
1. its not in my nature
& 2. i'm afraid of the consequences
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Roobsa
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#24
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#24
(Original post by Anonymous)
But i feel as though i can't rebel!
1. its not in my nature
& 2. i'm afraid of the consequences
That's because they've disempowered you. The constant controlling means you're probably not likely to stand up for yourself so you've got to work up the balls to control your own life rather than being told what to do.

What kind of a life are you going to have if you're scared of the consequences of everything you want to do?
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Sprockette
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Anonymous)
:eek: - i would hate for my parent to stop me from going to freshers - it one of the things i'm most looking forward to
I've applied to live in halls & i'm moving approx 130 miles away (2hrs & a bit by train - not including travel to & from stations).

I doubt i will do anything now - as like you've mentioned its exam period & i'm channeling all my frustration into motivation for revision. But afterwards i think i will try.

I'm really sorry to hear about your parents (i know exactly how you feel).

Do you have any tips on how to persuade them no to help me 'settle in'.
It would give such a wrong impression if my parents help me move in & insist on saying to meet all my room mates, telling me which ones not to hang out with & giving us all lecture on staying safe and not going out too late. I don't think i can handle the embarrassment.
Well as you can see I'm still pretty pissed off about the whole situation and I'm 25 lol Quite sad...

It doesn't sound like saying no-one else's parents will be there would help, no? Suggest they come and see it after you've settled in. It might have been a few years but if I was back in the same situation again I don't know if I would have a solution Maybe say the uni assigns you a mentor for settling in, to help show you round and get you sorted, introduce you to other new students? Say it'll be easier with her and fit in better, get to know more people? It might take some planning so they won't be suspicious of you lying though!

Oh, and I know how you feel about feeling you can't just walk out. I used to be too afraid to do that, no matter how many people told me "You're nearly 19, they can't do anything, just go!".
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Anonymous #1
#26
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#26
(Original post by Roobsa)
That's because they've disempowered you. The constant controlling means you're probably not likely to stand up for yourself so you've got to work up the balls to control your own life rather than being told what to do.

What kind of a life are you going to have if you're scared of the consequences of everything you want to do?
Wow - i didn't realise how cowardly i sound until now lol


(Original post by Sprockette)
Well as you can see I'm still pretty pissed off about the whole situation and I'm 25 lol Quite sad...

It doesn't sound like saying no-one else's parents will be there would help, no? Suggest they come and see it after you've settled in. It might have been a few years but if I was back in the same situation again I don't know if I would have a solution Maybe say the uni assigns you a mentor for settling in, to help show you round and get you sorted, introduce you to other new students? Say it'll be easier with her and fit in better, get to know more people? It might take some planning so they won't be suspicious of you lying though!
I think i just might have to plan a 'fake' story convincing them not to do something as drastic. But what about when they're helping me move my bags? How do i kick them out of the flat straight afterwards? Would it be a bad thing to ask security to do it for me? Would the security be willing to make up an excuse i.e. we don't allow visitors today/at this time?
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Anonymous #3
#27
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#27
It's somewhat similar in my house. I'm hardly ever allowed to go out with friends. I turned 18 a couple of months back but things haven't changed. I'm just being obedient unlike some of my friends who've rebelled and gotten their parents used to their arrogant behavior. Some of my friends have really cool parents so they're good to go. And I'm just lonely as hell now.
None of my friends call me or bother to ask if I want to join them because I end up giving them some or the other excuse for not making it. I've been lonely and depressed for not being able to talk to anyone. I have no siblings, which makes it even worse. Even when I'm allowed to go out once in a blue moon, I get calls every hour or so. Pfft.
I love them and all but it really gets annoying. I haven't gone anywhere in months...last was my birthday and I was back home at 8 pm.bahaha. Over the last few months,I've just managed to speak to my friends over the phone...glad they've picked up my calls.. once in two weeks but nonetheless. I'm really lonely. I love my parents but I can't stop myself for blaming them for my loneliness and depression.
I don't know if you're as frustrated as I am but I've confronted them and cried(screamt as well cause I was angry and upset as hell)and told them how I feel about having no friends who care and how lonely I am. They say I should spend time with them instead of wasting time and money going out with friends. Gosh I'm tired. I've gotten used to. You can try letting them know. If they understand, I'd be happy for you. If they don't, join the club. :rolleyes:
I have my A levels in 2 weeks so I'm not very keen on enjoying as such but the exam pressure is making it worse.
Hope things get better.
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eafy
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#28
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#28
What I've started doing is instead of asking if I can go out, saying 'I'm going out tonight, I'll be back in the early hours' they can't so no then because it's your life.
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Sprockette
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#29
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#29
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think i just might have to plan a 'fake' story convincing them not to do something as drastic. But what about when they're helping me move my bags? How do i kick them out of the flat straight afterwards? Would it be a bad thing to ask security to do it for me? Would the security be willing to make up an excuse i.e. we don't allow visitors today/at this time?
Would you be able to go yourself, just bring 2 bags of essentials and get your parents to bring the rest the week after..? It'd be a bit of a struggle on the train but worth it! Might be a bit selfish and not easy to live with I guess! Will you be living in halls?
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Anonymous #1
#30
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#30
(Original post by Sprockette)
Would you be able to go yourself, just bring 2 bags of essentials and get your parents to bring the rest the week after..? It'd be a bit of a struggle on the train but worth it! Might be a bit selfish and not easy to live with I guess! Will you be living in halls?
I guess you right it would be selfish lol & yes i will be living in halls.
I could ask them if i can go alone, but even I know the answer is a definite no.
I'm just going to have to talk to them/rebel/think of a cunning plan all at the same time & hope they will give me more freedom.
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Anonymous #1
#31
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#31
(Original post by eafy)
What I've started doing is instead of asking if I can go out, saying 'I'm going out tonight, I'll be back in the early hours' they can't so no then because it's your life.
Haha - i might try this just to see their reaction.
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