Why do I seem non-existent to people? Watch

Jen_Cruz
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#21
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#21
maybe you're trying too hard, and over-analysing? the more you think about it and the more you focus on this self-perception the more you will convey it to other people! without realising it you probably enter social situations now expecting people not to like you and not to gel with you.

give yourself a break! and try joining clubs and get hobbies that will involve lots of socialising
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jackmyswag
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Pixiefairy)
Because you're ungreatful and don't think about the positive things in life like having great health
Mental health comes into 'health' you know. Not being a doctor or anything and saying the OP is depressed, but it sounds like it.
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Pixiefairy
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#23
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#23
(Original post by jackmyswag)
Mental health comes into 'health' you know. Not being a doctor or anything and saying the OP is depressed, but it sounds like it.
Oh yes fair point, and if OP had mentioned that they in fact did have a mental illness then i obviously would not have wrote that
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slavetosociety
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#24
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#24
I would have lol'ed if no one replied to this thread.

Ah OP, I can't really help you. Only you have the power to make things right for you
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louholl
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#25
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#25
(Original post by GildedButterfly)
Its like i could of written that post, word for word. Feel free to PM me, i completely understand how your feeling, might be nice to share!
me 3 !!!! Starting nursing in sept, and I'm dreading being the only one on my own why everyone groups off into little cliques !!! xx
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daemongreen
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#26
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#26
(Original post by louholl)
me 3 !!!! Starting nursing in sept, and I'm dreading being the only one on my own why everyone groups off into little cliques !!! xx
alright...Parrot
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'bob'
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#27
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#27
Just leave behind the pessimism. Be enthusiastic, talk to people, and if you're funny then you'll be a people magnet anyway.
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tite23
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#28
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#28
You might not like this, so obviously you don't have to do it, but it's an option.

Just focus primarily on improving yourself. Excel in what you love, if you're still in school, throw yourself into your studies or sports or hobbies or whatever. Pick a goal, and strive for it with everything you've got. You will be recognized for your exceptional talents/achievements, but at that point you won't even care. There will be a point to everything you do, and people will respect that. You will also be uninterested in pleasing others, which automatically makes you valuable in their eyes - but again, at this point you won't care.
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Ana*Haifa
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#29
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#29
(Original post by slavetosociety)
I would have lol'ed if no one replied to this thread.

Ah OP, I can't really help you. Only you have the power to make things right for you
When someone is in need of help and advice, the worst thing you can possibly say in this situation is "I can't really help you." Makes you feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
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Ambs
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#30
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#30
I'm so sorry for you OP, that sounds really unfair and not a nice position to be in. I agree with what a few people have said; it's just because you haven't met the right friends yet. You should really realise that: it's not you, it's definitely them making the mistake here. People just have the wrong idea about you, and are not willing to look past that to see who you really are. So all I can advice you is this: go out and meet other people. These 'friends' don't sound like they're worth your trouble. You sound like a lovely person, so don't let the wrong set of friends and acquaintances get you down!
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NaturalDisaster
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#31
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#31
Take over the world with a baseball bat and a tub of marmite. Nobody will forget you after that. You'll be very visible.

Alternatively, start trolling irl.

You sound like a nice person though so clearly you know some stupid people. Tell them to get stuffed.
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tea kid
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#32
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#32
You're a ghost.
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katy_j87
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#33
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#33
I know exactly how you feel, I've been treated like that at times and it's a horrible feeling. It's like you make an effort to be nice to people and they throw it back in your face. Recently I had an experience with some girls at uni (a group who I've always been nice to) and they invited everyone else to a social event but me - it was like they deliberately left me out. I was really hurt by it and kept questioning myself about why they'd done that, why they didn't like me, etc. It wasn't the first time either, as in conversation they'd chat to everyone and ignore me, even if I tried to join in! But then I just decided to move on and try and make new friends who do appreciate me and don't ignore me or treat me like I don't matter. Just think of it as they're problem, not yours. It just makes them look ignorant and not everyone is like that
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jthlm
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Anonymous)
All my life, I've never really mattered to anyone. No matter how hard I try to keep friendships and be nice, I'm always left and always second best, people just don't acknowledge me. I'm not a social freak, but people just tend to leave me all the time. My family and friends are part of this, I'm always the one that doesn't matter, that shouldn't be taken into account. An example - left high school, tried my best to stay in contact with friends, made a real effort and just turned invisible. Another girl who I'm friends with made no effort and doesn't bother, but she has everyone. I don't understand. I can't stand being the invisible one, even if I died I'm sure it'll be such a small thing, I honestly don't know what I've done to be so ignored all my life. I'm constantly lonely and constantly envious, and I feel like I'm half living my life, that I'm just floating and nothing's happening.

I just feel like internally screaming. I wish I didn't exist so I wouldn't have to feel this way.
i think you'd be surprised how common this feeling is.
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Anonymous #3
#35
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#35
(Original post by Anonymous)
Please help.
My friend, I've experienced that at adolescence to some degree, because of a very specific problem in my life. I wasn't so keen on being around people as you, as I'm somewhat introspective, however, I was still messed up and no man is an island, the subsequent repercussions have probably hampered me in a way though I'm naturally quite sociable and good at it, stuff like career and managing my life, hence attractiveness to women etc, and ability to meet them, has suffered, as has my enjoyment of life. Whilst I d value the private, personal aspects of life, I'm not one of these defensive cynics who think love doesn't exist and relationships aren't worth it. Whilst realism is good, make sure it isn't self-defeatism. One patch of life doesn't represent some died in the wool representation of who you are, or what is possible life is random and things trigger other things cumulatively. You might see me on one night out right, talking to a girl and being ok looking etc, and feel envy, as you put it, but you wouldn't no the surrounding circumstance, like my lack of any meaningful relationship, miserable periods of my life and not having much of a career. Just like I might see the guy who's got a great career and is a whizz-kid making loads of money, but it turns out he's like mid 40's no partner or kids. Surface doesn't show everything.
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pappu
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#36
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#36
I know the feeling exactly, pm me if you want to talk
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Chillaxer
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#37
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#37
(Original post by jthlm)
i think you'd be surprised how common this feeling is.
Exactly. We all play a games between longing for things we can't have, and keeping our distance and our own world. Tons of people get on the wrong track in at least on aspect of their lives, even people who you really admire. I know people who I've admired for their accomplisments, and character, etc, but their personal life isn't so great, they left it too late for kids etc. Equally there are peopl who've got the whol partner kids ****, but I don't envy them at all because they haven''t really fulfilled themselves or hate their job/life etc, you can tell. I'm not saying there isn't pain, but don't just resign in all aspects of life, there are differing and equally valuable parts of it. Some people get it together later. No point whatsoever rueing what you missed in the past, nor expecting perfection in the present, it's meaningless. Focus on what's realistically improvable OP, find what enthuses you and build things bit by bit but be realistic.
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-honeybee-
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#38
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#38
You need to be more confident and less reliant on others and their opinions. The people who everyone adores/remembers are people who do things their own way and not to please others. As a result they appear more interesting/elusive so people pay them more attention.

I know someone like you and they are easily intimidated by (their perception of) others. They think that everyone is looking down on them so have no confidence which means that everyone doesn't remember them/isn't as bothered about them. Realistically you could be an amazing person but your insecurities are letting you down. I know it seems hard but when you learn to ignore others you will be happier
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Wltsm
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#39
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#39
I know exactly how you feel OP, wish I could help but don't know the answer myself.
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OddThings
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#40
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#40
I know how you feel.I just try to be louder(not pushy,just not be shy and quiet all the time like I used to be) and really try and engage in coversation with people,make them memorable or interesting. Greet people with a confident attitude(even if you feel bad inside as I do sometimes).
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