Just called my boyfriend pathetic- Am I in the wrong? Watch

shouldbeshot
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Anonymous)
A particular sport
'es a larper innit
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VaVe
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#22
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#22
Just stop paying for him. Buy stuff for yourself and if he complains point out that you bought it with the money you get and if he wants something he should buy it himself.
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Young Spade
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Anonymous)
My boyfriend is always broke- he spends a fortune on playing events and stuff, as in all the money he has (and he's on the dole). I work and I get about the same money as him.

I am always having to pay for him as he is broke. This week I paid for us to stay at a hotel, and we're going to have dinner. Seeing as I paid for the hotel, I thought that he would at least pay for his half at dinner. But now I find out that he has no money as he's spent it all on the weekend. He said he can't help it, but I said he could, then he accused me of making him feel small.....I said simply that it was all a bit pathetic.

He won't talk to me now, making me feel like I'm the bad one. Am I?
I don't think you did anything wrong. Of course we all have our hobbies, some more expensive than others, and we all love spending money on the things that make us happy, however some people don't know how to moderate their spending so it doesn't negatively affect their life and the lives of those around them; this is something I don't think your boyfriend knows how to do.

What you need to do is sit down with him and really explain the toll his actions have on the relationship. It's great that you're helping out by paying for some things sometimes, however you shouldn't be paying for everything just because he's spending his money how he wants. If he didn't make any at all it might be slightly different.

Just to diverge a bit, I also don't think it's right for the guy to have to pay for everything if the girl also has money but chooses to spend it on clothes and makeup/things like that. Of course there are "needs" and wants, some more important than others, however if a guy spends a lot of his money on her and she spends all of her money on her, that doesn't seem "fair" to me.
Of course there are a myriad of variables that you have to take into account but overall, this is how I feel.
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Charlottelisabeth
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#24
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#24
No you were right in saying that, he is pathetic! If he doesn't change then I really can't see how your relationship is going to last any longer. Let him come to you and apologise, don't say sorry to him, he's the one in the wrong, if he thinks he's not pathetic he should take a good look at himself and see how he's acting like a baby now!
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tehsponge
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#25
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#25
LOL can't believe I got 11 negs for my post. Seriously?
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Iaink
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#26
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#26
IMO you're right to call him pathetic, he needs to get his act together and start looking after his money. You say you both get about the same amount of income, yet he seems to expect you to spend some of yours on him and give nothing in return.

Money shouldn't be an obstacle in a relationship, you shouldn't let something like money get between you, but this is an indicator of the type of irresponsible person he is, and I'd be seriously considering bailing
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umarrehman187
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#27
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#27
your right

you spread your legs every night for him and he cant give 50 50

pathetic
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concubine
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#28
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#28
So you know that he has no money, then you go and book a hotel and go out for a meal, and knowing that he has no money you get pissed off when he doesn't help pay.



lololol.
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evopolar
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#29
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#29
Honestly he is completely pathetic. And a complete loser too.
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LostRiots
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#30
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#30
(Original post by Anonymous)
My boyfriend is always broke- he spends a fortune on playing events and stuff, as in all the money he has (and he's on the dole). I work and I get about the same money as him.

I am always having to pay for him as he is broke. This week I paid for us to stay at a hotel, and we're going to have dinner. Seeing as I paid for the hotel, I thought that he would at least pay for his half at dinner. But now I find out that he has no money as he's spent it all on the weekend. He said he can't help it, but I said he could, then he accused me of making him feel small.....I said simply that it was all a bit pathetic.

He won't talk to me now, making me feel like I'm the bad one. Am I?

The dole is ~50 quid a week. Which isn't a lot. So either you're not working many hours or are somehow working for well below minimum wage. :confused:

That aside - what is the sport and how does he spend money on it? If it's a passion of his and he's serious about it, I can understand his desire to spend what little disposable income he has on it. On the other hand you could simply mean he likes to rent a 5-a-side pitch with a few mates then sink some pints after, in which case he should have a think about his priorities and budget accordingly.

He should certainly pay at least for his half of the dinner, I don't think anyone would disagree with that.

It's hard to make a judgement call here, because we don't know enough about the circumstances. Has he been seeking work? If not, why? Why book a hotel and meals when you know he's skint?

I don't think you should feel too bad though. Although perhaps you could have handled the situation slightly better you have very valid reasons for being annoyed at it all. He should be paying his own way.

Personally, I hate being indebted to anyone. Things, generally speaking, should be 50:50.
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SQ918
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#31
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#31
What you did is right. He is pathetic for spending on useless items. I'm guessing you;re the mature one in this relationship


Split it 50:50 if not leave him

Example: My mum bought my dad a Rolex watch for his birthday and in return my dad took my mum on a holiday to Dubai with a luxurious spa and business class tickets return.
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n65uk
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Thomas...)
No, he is completely pathetic, tell him to get a job and stop scrounging the awful welfare system.

Edit: Are people negging this because they want your taxes/future taxes to go onto nights out for the unemployed? Or just because you don't like me? One of the two....
I completely agree with you.

OP, it should be 50:50 stand your ground.
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