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I'm not attracted to my own ethnicity/race. Is this normal? watch

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    (Original post by IndianDancer)
    Hmmm....Are you not attracted to ANY? like...not even a Pakistani celebrity? Even if he's attractive? Or is it more of case where....you can see that he is attractive but YOU aren't attracted to him because he's not your type? If this is the case then I don't think its weird or anything. But if its more like...you never ever seen an attractive Pakistani guy or never met any Pakistani guy with a nice personality then I think something's up. I just find it really weird when people say that they have NEVER seen an attractive person of a certain race because i think they usually have some underlying issues with that race. Like...even if you show them picture of a person who is CLEARLY attractive and they still say they're ugly then....its weird lol I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder blah blah blah but some people just have faces where its CLEAR that they're not ugly. But anyway....I was in a similar position when I was younger...like I didn't find any Indian guys attractive but looking back now, I can see that I had slight self-hate issues. I still don't 'prefer' Indian guys but I can definitely find some of them attractive. I also prefer that same race of men as you lol.

    Just don't worry too much...I really believe that once you get to know a guy his race and everything doesn't matter. And I'm sure you'll find a good Pakistani guy SOME day lol but if that doesn't happen, just try to tell your parents that you're not attracted to any Pakistani guys and you just wouldn't be happy with one?
    The only Asian celeb I find attractive is Arjun Rampal, but that's because he looks European and its very rare to find Asian men that look like him.

    The male celebs that I find attractive are : Orlando Blooom, Kaka, the entire Spanish and Italian football team players (particulary Marco Borriello)

    My father is extremely against interracial. My parents would cut me out of their lives if I married a non-pakistani guy even if he is a Muslim.
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    From what I can gather it’s the attitude in some Pakistani men that is turning you off from them rather than their physical appearance, correct me, if I’m wrong. In every race you met idiots and cool folks, the onus is on you to expand your network of friends and since your at school you’ll have to wait until you go to university preferably a redbrick uni in order to meet new folks, try to meet some Pakistanis from the science and health dept (i.e Medics, Dentist, Pharamcist, Optom) as most of them have their head screwed on properly and are ambitious.

    First and foremost, dating is haraam, period, and should you be looking for that type of arrangement with a Pakistani guy then I can safely label you as a naïve person because you, being a Pakistani, should understand our culture and how dating is frowned upon.

    Personally speaking, I’m attracted to Pakistani girls and could never marry outside my race and as a Pakistani I would find it unbearable to marry someone from a different culture. Saying that, I could never marry a Pakistani girl who likes to gossip, and it’s imperative that she comes from a good family i.e highly educated and religious. We all have our set criteria when looking for a potential spouse however you have to put yourself, about, in order to find the right person.
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    (Original post by Dr.Sweet Science)
    From what I can gather it’s the attitude in some Pakistani men that is turning you off from them rather than their physical appearance, correct me, if I’m wrong. In every race you met idiots and cool folks, the onus is on you to expand your network of friends and since your at school you’ll have to wait until you go to university preferably a redbrick uni in order to meet new folks, try to meet some Pakistanis from the science and health dept (i.e Medics, Dentist, Pharamcist, Optom) as most of them have their head screwed on properly and are ambitious.

    First and foremost, dating is haraam, period, and should you be looking for that type of arrangement with a Pakistani guy then I can safely label you as a naïve person because you, being a Pakistani, should understand our culture and how dating is frowned upon.

    Personally speaking, I’m attracted to Pakistani girls and could never marry outside my race and as a Pakistani I would find it unbearable to marry someone from a different culture. Saying that, I could never marry a Pakistani girl who likes to gossip, and it’s imperative that she comes from a good family i.e highly educated and religious. We all have our set criteria when looking for a potential spouse however you have to put yourself, about, in order to find the right person.
    So, if you met a girl and she was perfect in every sense, but just didn't happen to be Pakistani, would you marry her? I have a feeling all your "set criterias" will fly out of the window then, regardless of what you may say.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Pakistani guy here and I think Pakistani girls are pretty repulsive myself so don't worry They listen to awful music, speak like utter idiots and seem to be shockingly boring with nothing interesting to say. I've been going out with a beautiful black girl for the past four years. We met when we were called to the bar and it's been a wonderfully supportive relationship - given the massive intellectual pressures of my work I could not see myself with anyone else. There is nothing wrong with your feeling this way, don't worry.
    What qualifies as crap music exactly? :confused:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Pakistani guy here and I think Pakistani girls are pretty repulsive myself so don't worry They listen to awful music, speak like utter idiots and seem to be shockingly boring with nothing interesting to say. I've been going out with a beautiful black girl for the past four years. We met when we were called to the bar and it's been a wonderfully supportive relationship - given the massive intellectual pressures of my work I could not see myself with anyone else. There is nothing wrong with your feeling this way, don't worry.
    Hi Pakistani guy, I'm just curious as to how your parents and family took your relationship? I had a thing for Asian and Middle Eastern guys right from university days and had some fleeting relationships but in hind sight, I realise that most were just using me and that they would never truly want to be with a black girl. I no longer go for such guys as a result and I'd much rather choose a safer option.

    How common do you think it is for an Asian guy to ever really truly want to be with a black girl as a long term prospect? Is it still quite rare?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The only Asian celeb I find attractive is Arjun Rampal, but that's because he looks European and its very rare to find Asian men that look like him.

    The male celebs that I find attractive are : Orlando Blooom, Kaka, the entire Spanish and Italian football team players (particulary Marco Borriello)

    My father is extremely against interracial. My parents would cut me out of their lives if I married a non-pakistani guy even if he is a Muslim.
    Yeah Arjun Rampal is pretty hot lol Hmm....it sucks that your parents area so against it...do you think that when you do find a non-pakistani guy to marry and you bring him home, your parents will be more reasonable and try to accept him seeing that he is a nice guy and right for you and all that? Asian parents are full of surprises. My dad's friend's son is gay and my parents didn't judge him. In fact my dad was just talking about how the son is so successful and stuff. And he was all "you should see people for who they are not what they are blah blah" and i was like :O because you know...Asians are generally homophobic. And you might say that my Dad is an exception but I never thought that he was particularly open minded...he wouldn't want me marrying a non-indian etc. so i thought he was just a normal Indian dad. So maybe your parents might actually accept a non-pakistani guy? or have you guys actually discussed this?


    Anyway just don't worry about it yet. Your taste in guys might change, your parents might change their minds...anything can happen by the time you have to get married you know? But if it does get to a point where you HAVE to marry a guy you're not attracted to.....i dunno...that would be really hard. I guess you're just gonna have to try really hard to convince your parents and if that doesn't work just go with your heart...I know its gonna be hard but you're not doing anything wrong...you don't have to sacrifice your happiness because of their medieval views. Oh god i'm getting so serious here lol but yeah...just don't worry about it yet. Worry about it when you have to
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    (Original post by Hey TSR)
    So, if you met a girl and she was perfect in every sense, but just didn't happen to be Pakistani, would you marry her? I have a feeling all your "set criterias" will fly out of the window then, regardless of what you may say.
    Marrying a Pakistani is a prerequisite when the time comes for me to look for a potential spouse and I would most probably rather remain single than marry someone outside of my nationality.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The only Asian celeb I find attractive is Arjun Rampal, but that's because he looks European and its very rare to find Asian men that look like him.
    If he looks European to you then I would most certainly pass as an Albino. He isn't even good looking and I've seen plenty of local Pakistani lads that look a million times better than him! I'm actually beginning to think you're a troll!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The only Asian celeb I find attractive is Arjun Rampal, but that's because he looks European and its very rare to find Asian men that look like him.

    The male celebs that I find attractive are : Orlando Blooom, Kaka, the entire Spanish and Italian football team players (particulary Marco Borriello)

    My father is extremely against interracial. My parents would cut me out of their lives if I married a non-pakistani guy even if he is a Muslim.
    Very tough situation. You still should do right by yourself (parents who truely have their principles right...want to see their children happy). I feel like Im more likely (not ruling any race out) to marry someone white (generally more attracted to white girls, last 3 gf's white, though one before that was indian) even though im indian-if i was to marry . Absolutely nothing wrong with you, people have their own tastes .....though bringing your parents around=very difficult.
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    (Original post by Dr.Sweet Science)
    Marrying a Pakistani is a prerequisite when the time comes for me to look for a potential spouse and I would most probably rather remain single than marry someone outside of my nationality.



    If he looks European to you then I would most certainly pass as an Albino. He isn't even good looking and I've seen plenty of local Pakistani lads that look a million times better than him! I'm actually beginning to think you're a troll!
    a troll because she has a different opinion of what is good looking? :confused: i also find arjun rampal very good looking. i think by 'european' she means his FEATURES and his overall 'look' in very european. not the skin colour
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    (Original post by IndianDancer)
    a troll because she has a different opinion of what is good looking? :confused: i also find arjun rampal very good looking. i think by 'european' she means his FEATURES and his overall 'look' in very european. not the skin colour
    Arjun Rampal is good looking (not gay my friend ) but yeah true he is.
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    (Original post by TruetoMyself)
    Arjun Rampal is good looking (not gay my friend ) but yeah true he is.
    lol SEE Dr.Sweet Science? even guys think he is Judging by the amount of flirting that was going in that other thread (sister being racist) TruetoMyself, I think its pretty obvious you're not gay :P
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    (Original post by IndianDancer)
    lol SEE Dr.Sweet Science? even guys think he is Judging by the amount of flirting that was going in that other thread (sister being racist) TruetoMyself, I think its pretty obvious you're not gay :P
    haha flirting= habit of mine now my turn to flirt with you....

    so you come here often
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    (Original post by TruetoMyself)
    haha flirting= habit of mine now my turn to flirt with you....

    so you come here often
    haha yea i do...but i'm new. you?
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    I thought I was the only one. :sigh: I don't really have a "set" race being mixed race and all, but my dad's side of the family is Somali whilst my mum's Italian. ... and truth be told I don't really like either side tbh. My dad's side are just awful bigots in every sense of the word. They fawn over me at times but I can tell they don't accept me deep down. Ohhh and I'm also from the wrong tribe but that's okay cause I'm "pretty" :rolleyes: so I'm still invited to the aroos (wedding) !!! Pathetic. They don't even see me as one of their own and have ostracised me from the day I was born and yet they still expect me to marry a Somali guy. Not happenin'. mark my words.


    My immediate family (+ granny) is all that matters and they don't have a problem with me liking European or Asian guys anyway so :sigh:



    (Original post by Ciaran88)
    I'm not attracted to my own ethnicity/race either, I don't really think it's worth analysing too deeply. People don't sit around torturing themselves over "why don't I find short guys attractive?!" and "why do I prefer blondes over brunettes?!", it's just one of those things, a preference is a preference, the only reason you're worried about it is because you're worried about the connotations of having a racial preference - don't think of it that way, it's just physical.

    It's not even that. It's the sense of cultural/racial duty and the "what about the kids" that they try to enforce on you, as if you're an awful blood traitor or something. The physical part is actually quite benign in their eyes. 2011 ffs. People need to get over themselves.
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    Why can't we be free to date who we want? Makes me
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    I'm black, and although I can and have appreciated the beauty of men in all races including my own, I've only ever really had crushes on white guys, and one Turkish guy (I'm not sure if Turks count as white? But this guy in particular was a prick anyway so I'm ashamed :sigh:). That's not to say I would rule out anyone just because of their race, but people have their preferences and it's fine. There's not much you can do about it if you've tried to change, it's just a part of who you are. Don't worry about peer pressure, just follow your heart
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    (Original post by Dr.Sweet Science)
    Marrying a Pakistani is a prerequisite when the time comes for me to look for a potential spouse and I would most probably rather remain single than marry someone outside of my nationality.
    Feel sorry for you.
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    It's your life, live it how you want and with whoever you want. You might find a guy who will break your current preference, who knows? But yeah, don't worry about it. 20 year old white fella here, and the past couple of years I have almost completely gone off white girls. -I really don't find them that attractive any more. It's no biggie, variety is the spice of life and all that.

    Take it easy,

    -Leo
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    Im the same im only attracted to oriental girls and im white. There is nothing wrong with you ,your parents are stuck in the past its up to you to break the ignorance of your previous generation . Would you force your daughter to marry a Pakistani if she didn't want too ?

    If your parents can't deal with it ,then you need to move on its your life not theirs .
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    (Original post by oriental_girls_no1)
    Im the same im only attracted to oriental girls and im white. There is nothing wrong with you ,your parents are stuck in the past its up to you to break the ignorance of your previous generation . Would you force your daughter to marry a Pakistani if she didn't want too ?

    If your parents can't deal with it ,then you need to move on its your life not theirs .
    Well said. OP, Live ur life, it's yours. There is nothing wrong with one's preference

    I am the same. Whoever can't accept the fact that I am only attracted to certain women and not to others, then it's their problem, not mine.
 
 
 
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