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    i am generally quite confident but if i do feel like that... i kind of just IGNORE those thoughts... i just think "who cares?"... i know the feeling will pass and i think "i am my own worse critic"... and also there is SO much more to life than how you look...
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    You're hardly in my position though. Quit complaining, at least you can feel loved.
    You should quit complaining too. You have food, shelter, warmth, an education, good health, e.t.c. If any of those go away, you live in a country which has a safety net. You may not have a boyfriend or whatever, but there are millions of people who would kill to be in your position!
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    (Original post by sarahthegemini)
    But what I have tried to express with this thread is that, as much as my bf reassures me, my issues are deeper and sometimes he can't help by giving me affection and saying affectionate things. Hence why I'm looking for other people's methods of coping or "getting over it"
    If I'm honest, I'm quite similar to you. Many people reassure me that I'm not as bad as I think. I know for a fact that the reason why I "downgrade" myself is because I don't have things/qualities etc that other people have and there is something lacking in my life.

    Perhaps you feel this way because you yearn for something...
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    Ahhh, I have those moments too, a few things I do

    - I put aside the physical stuff for a moment and think about the stuff I like about my personality.
    - I think about it logically. I might be feeling insecure and sure, I'm never going to be bloody Kate Upton or whatever, but I average around a size 12, I'm not OBESE. Likewise, if my face was really as hideously ugly as I think it is in those occaisonal super dark moments, I probably wouldn't be with my lovely, handsome boyfriend (although he's not hugely shallow, I don't think it was an innate sense of my winning personality that caused him to approach me on a night out)
    - I get all dressed up in something nice. No new clothes that you might be worried about- something tried and tested that ALWAYS looks good. Plus nice make-up
    - I smile. By like the fourth one, it's semi-real.
    - I tell myself to (wo)man up.
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    (Original post by Bellissima)
    i am generally quite confident but if i do feel like that... i kind of just IGNORE those thoughts... i just think "who cares?"... i know the feeling will pass and i think "i am my own worse critic"... and also there is SO much more to life than how you look...
    I find it difficult to just ignore the thoughts though because I've always had them at the back of my mind and although I can ignore them the majority of the time, and not let them effect me, sometimes it gets to the point where I just can't (which is when I experience what I described in the OP)

    My looks aren't the only thing I'm insecure about, I also have serious medical issues but I didn't really want to get into them
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    (Original post by NuckingFut)
    You should quit complaining too. You have food, shelter, warmth, an education, good health, e.t.c. If any of those go away, you live in a country which has a safety net. You may not have a boyfriend or whatever, but there are millions of people who would kill to be in your position!
    I am just ****ing sick of people judging me because of my crappy appearance and I hate living life day to day without physical affection from a man.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    If I'm honest, I'm quite similar to you. Many people reassure me that I'm not as bad as I think. I know for a fact that the reason why I "downgrade" myself is because I don't have things/qualities etc that other people have and there is something lacking in my life.

    Perhaps you feel this way because you yearn for something...
    Actually, you might have hit the nail on the head there. Although I didn't want to get into my health issues (which as well as my appearance are what I'm insecure about) I think that comes into it, in the sense that, I feel I can't compete with others because I'm not 'well' or 'healthy/normal' as such.
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    (Original post by riotgrrl)
    Ahhh, I have those moments too, a few things I do

    - I put aside the physical stuff for a moment and think about the stuff I like about my personality.
    - I think about it logically. I might be feeling insecure and sure, I'm never going to be bloody Kate Upton or whatever, but I average around a size 12, I'm not OBESE. Likewise, if my face was really as hideously ugly as I think it is in those occaisonal super dark moments, I probably wouldn't be with my lovely, handsome boyfriend (although he's not hugely shallow, I don't think it was an innate sense of my winning personality that caused him to approach me on a night out)
    - I get all dressed up in something nice. No new clothes that you might be worried about- something tried and tested that ALWAYS looks good. Plus nice make-up
    - I smile. By like the fourth one, it's semi-real.
    - I tell myself to (wo)man up.
    Haha, that made me chuckle. I also met my boyfriend on a night out Thanks
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Let's be honest, an attractive confident girl will get the guys compared with an ugly confident girl.

    In a way, through my comments, I'm showing her that actually life could be far more difficult for her. She may be insecure, but at least she has a boyfriend.
    That's just wrong. As cheesy as it sounds, nobody is ugly; we're all just beautiful in a variety of ways. Your life shouldn't be spent constantly worrying about a guy choosing a pretty girl. And if a guy did choose a girl just because of her appearance, why on Earth would you want to be with him?

    As suggested earlier, having a boyfriend doesn't automatically make her insecurities void, so stop whining and help the girl out rather than complain about how "difficult" your life is.
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    (Original post by sarahthegemini)
    Actually, you might have hit the nail on the head there. Although I didn't want to get into my health issues (which as well as my appearance are what I'm insecure about) I think that comes into it, in the sense that, I feel I can't compete with others because I'm not 'well' or 'healthy/normal' as such.
    Well, I'm not surprised I've hit the nail on the head as I can exactly see where you are coming from. We all want what we can't have. I know that too well.
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    Everyone has those moments. Just be easy on yourself (which is always hard since you are your own worst enemy) and recognise that not everyone is perfect! Think about the things that you like about yourself and concentrate on that.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I am just ****ing sick of people judging me because of my crappy appearance and I hate living life day to day without physical affection from a man.
    There are plenty of people in your position, but they don't whine like you do. Not everything revolves around 'the physical affection of a man'
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    Look around...I see people in wheel chairs, deformities..and amputated limbs...despite all these problems they are confident and manage to carry on with life...I tell myself to man up.
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    (Original post by NuckingFut)
    There are plenty of people in your position, but they don't whine like you do. Not everything revolves around 'the physical affection of a man'
    My happiness is dependent on it.
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    Im sure everyone has something which makes them feel insecure. Focus on something you do like about yourself, that way you'll devote less time mulling over parts you don't like (e.g appearance).
    I know it's easier said than done because we're all overly critical when we judge ourselves; we see our flaws clearly and sometimes overlook things we like about ourselves.

    When i feel insecure, i mope about for a while After that, i try and make myself feel better, give myself a little pep talk and move on.
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    3 things.

    Bench-Squat-Deadlift.
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    (Original post by Bellissima)
    i am generally quite confident but if i do feel like that... i kind of just IGNORE those thoughts... i just think "who cares?"... i know the feeling will pass and i think "i am my own worse critic"... and also there is SO much more to life than how you look...
    apart from money hun, is there really?
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    (Original post by RollandGarros)
    apart from money hun, is there really?
    yes...
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    (Original post by Bellissima)
    yes...
    lol name one thing which i should regard more important than money and my own body?

    maybe my wife's chest size when i have one, my job but that counts as money, anything else?
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    Listen to Beautiful by Christina Aguilera.
 
 
 
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