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Did me and my mates do the right thing? watch

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    (Original post by Shippy)
    Went out for a few drinks with a few friends last night, walking home my best friend collapsed and was passed out.
    We couldn't put her in a taxi as she lives on her own and none of us could really stay the night with her.
    After a good 10 minutes we still couldn't wake her up so we called an ambulance.
    The ambulance came, the paramedics managed to wake her up and she was inside the ambulance for about half an hour while those of us there waited to see what they said.
    During this time we were ****ging her off a bit because we didn't realise how serious it was and we were all wanting to go home etc.
    They came out and said she was awake and talking but they needed to take her in overnight as her heart rate was very fast and not slowing down.
    At this point we're all a bit worried, and we ask the paramedics should one of us come with her.
    Because we were drunk the paramedics told us no, she was in safe hands and that we should all go home and sleep it off.
    We didn't really wanna aggravate the paramedics more than we already had done with our arguing and foul language etc.
    So we all went home, I wake up about 4 hours later with a text from my friend saying shes had to have her stomach pumped, was puking up blood and a blood test found ket in her system, so her drink had been spiked.
    She's now not speaking to any of us for not coming to the hospital with her.
    I don't see what we've done wrong to warrant her to disown us, we did what we thought was the safest thing possible and we were explicitly told by paramedics that we couldn't come with her and told to go home.
    I've tried explaining this to her but she won't listen.
    So yeah, in this situation, do you think we did the right thing?
    if you hadn't been there to call the ambulance she may have died, you haven't done anything wrong
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    (Original post by AlmostChicGeek)
    Do you mean that they would have refused to treat her, or you may have made it more difficult to treat her if one of you was in the ambulance with her?

    Regardless, I still think one of you should have just demanded to go with her - promised you would behave, and explain to them that it is likely she would be upset to wake up in hospital on their own. A very reasonable demand IMO.

    Either way nothing can be done now, I'm sure she will get over it eventually, and I'm glad you can see why she may be hurt by it. Good luck!
    I fail to see the point of trying to kick up a greater fuss

    They had already caused the ambulance people a bit of stress...but you think that causing them MORE stress would make them more likely to accept one of them coming with her?

    OP didn't do anything wrong, the ambulance people know what they were doing, and it doesn't seem as if OP or any of her friends were in much of a state to do much anyway.

    DEMANDING that one of them come with the ambulance would only result in pissing off the ambulance people more.
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    (Original post by Shippy)
    Went out for a few drinks with a few friends last night, walking home my best friend collapsed and was passed out.
    We couldn't put her in a taxi as she lives on her own and none of us could really stay the night with her.
    After a good 10 minutes we still couldn't wake her up so we called an ambulance.
    The ambulance came, the paramedics managed to wake her up and she was inside the ambulance for about half an hour while those of us there waited to see what they said.
    During this time we were ****ging her off a bit because we didn't realise how serious it was and we were all wanting to go home etc.
    They came out and said she was awake and talking but they needed to take her in overnight as her heart rate was very fast and not slowing down.
    At this point we're all a bit worried, and we ask the paramedics should one of us come with her.
    Because we were drunk the paramedics told us no, she was in safe hands and that we should all go home and sleep it off.
    We didn't really wanna aggravate the paramedics more than we already had done with our arguing and foul language etc.
    So we all went home, I wake up about 4 hours later with a text from my friend saying shes had to have her stomach pumped, was puking up blood and a blood test found ket in her system, so her drink had been spiked.
    She's now not speaking to any of us for not coming to the hospital with her.
    I don't see what we've done wrong to warrant her to disown us, we did what we thought was the safest thing possible and we were explicitly told by paramedics that we couldn't come with her and told to go home.
    I've tried explaining this to her but she won't listen.
    So yeah, in this situation, do you think we did the right thing?

    You did the right thing OP. I'm sure she'll get over it in a couple days/weeks
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    Your friend gets spiked, becomes unconscious and has to go to hospital, and the best you can do is swear at the paramedics trying to help her, **** her off and immediately ditch her without a second thought so she has to wake up alone and traumatised in some hospital by herself? And you still can't see what you've done wrong?

    I'm glad I don't have any 'friends' like you. I have enemies who wouldn't do that. I wouldn't expect her to talk to you for a very long time. Friends don't ditch their friends in their time of need.
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    (Original post by dgeorge)
    I fail to see the point of trying to kick up a greater fuss

    They had already caused the ambulance people a bit of stress...but you think that causing them MORE stress would make them more likely to accept one of them coming with her?

    OP didn't do anything wrong, the ambulance people know what they were doing, and it doesn't seem as if OP or any of her friends were in much of a state to do much anyway.

    DEMANDING that one of them come with the ambulance would only result in pissing off the ambulance people more.
    You have your opinion, I have mine.

    I honestly would have apologised for my previous actions, promised to behave impeccably in the ambulance, but would have definitely demanded to go with her in the ambulance.

    I appreciate that they were probably stressed out, and OP admits that their drunken antics were wrong, however, my priority would have been the friend and her waking up on her own, over the paramedics happiness.

    (Original post by dgeorge)
    it doesn't seem as if OP or any of her friends were in much of a state to do much anyway.
    Also, they wouldn't be asked to do anything, just sit there and be a familiar face when she woke up. I'm sure the drive over with their friend in a bad condition would have sobered them up.

    Worse case scenario I would have gotten a taxi to the hospital, and met up with her there.
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    You all did the right thing by getting her medical attention, surely she will appreciate that in time. It is understandable that she's a little upset that nobody went with her, but I'm sure the A&E dept had enough drunk people hanging around as it was! Hopefully she will see the bigger picture when it all dies down.
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    (Original post by AlmostChicGeek)
    You have your opinion, I have mine.

    I honestly would have apologised for my previous actions, promised to behave impeccably in the ambulance, but would have definitely demanded to go with her in the ambulance.

    I appreciate that they were probably stressed out, and OP admits that their drunken antics were wrong, however, my priority would have been the friend and her waking up on her own, over the paramedics happiness.



    Also, they wouldn't be asked to do anything, just sit there and be a familiar face when she woke up. I'm sure the drive over with their friend in a bad condition would have sobered them up.

    Worse case scenario I would have gotten a taxi to the hospital, and met up with her there.
    OP and her friends had already made a bad impression. It's bad enough to have drunk people acting up outside, but it could get even worse in a closed environment like a moving ambulance or hospital. After OP's description of their initial behaviour, I HIGHLY doubt there would have been anything that could have been said to sway the paramedics mind, and DEMANDING that they accompany their friend, I am sure, would only make things worse

    Maybe they should have taken a taxi to the hospital. But again, I doubt (I could be wrong) that the hospital staff would have even let OP and her friends to see her sick friend since they were visibly drunk
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    (Original post by dgeorge)
    OP and her friends had already made a bad impression. It's bad enough to have drunk people acting up outside, but it could get even worse in a closed environment like a moving ambulance or hospital. After OP's description of their initial behaviour, I HIGHLY doubt there would have been anything that could have been said to sway the paramedics mind, and DEMANDING that they accompany their friend, I am sure, would only make things worse

    Maybe they should have taken a taxi to the hospital. But again, I doubt (I could be wrong) that the hospital staff would have even let OP and her friends to see her sick friend since they were visibly drunk

    That may be the case, but the OP admitted that they could have tried harder with the paramedics, but they didn't.

    It would be easier to stomach for OP and for the sick friend if they did everything they could to be there for their friend.

    They didn't and that is why the OP is having doubts about their actions, and that is why the sick friend has a right to be upset with them.

    You can highly doubt that it would have worked with the paramedics, or that the staff would have let the friends see her, but the fact is is that there is still a small possibility that it would have worked, but they didn't try.

    That is the issue.
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    (Original post by AlmostChicGeek)
    That may be the case, but the OP admitted that they could have tried harder with the paramedics, but they didn't.

    It would be easier to stomach for OP and for the sick friend if they did everything they could to be there for their friend.

    They didn't and that is why the OP is having doubts about their actions, and that is why the sick friend has a right to be upset with them.

    You can highly doubt that it would have worked with the paramedics, or that the staff would have let the friends see her, but the fact is is that there is still a small possibility that it would have worked, but they didn't try.

    That is the issue.
    If them "trying harder" could lead to the situation getting WORSE, then "not trying harder" I think, is justifiable in this situation
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    (Original post by dgeorge)
    If them "trying harder" could lead to the situation getting WORSE, then "not trying harder" I think, is justifiable in this situation
    First of all, there is no need to use caps-lock thanks. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean that you need to become confrontational.

    Secondly, you have no proof that it would make it worse (just as I have no proof that it would have definitely worked), and the OP has already said that she has regretted not trying harder. The paramedics said that the OP and her friends needed to sleep it off, which is true but the OP has said that they could have pushed for it more, than simply accepting that. There was no need to be aggressive, but demand in rather firm but polite way that they want to be their for their sick friend.

    I fail to see how that would make it worse.

    And also, what harm would their be in getting a taxi to hospital to try and be there for the sick friend? That also falls under the idea that they could have tried harder. How would that make it worse?
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    To be hponest there wasnt much you lot could do, you stayed with her and called the ambulance she should be grateful for that i know people who have walked off in that situation and plus you couldnt exactly force your way into the ambulance if they didnt want you lot to come ... let her cool off shes been through a somewhat traumatic experience she'll see sense when shes calmed down a bit
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    (Original post by Shippy)
    Went out for a few drinks with a few friends last night, walking home my best friend collapsed and was passed out.
    We couldn't put her in a taxi as she lives on her own and none of us could really stay the night with her.
    After a good 10 minutes we still couldn't wake her up so we called an ambulance.
    The ambulance came, the paramedics managed to wake her up and she was inside the ambulance for about half an hour while those of us there waited to see what they said.
    During this time we were ****ging her off a bit because we didn't realise how serious it was and we were all wanting to go home etc.
    They came out and said she was awake and talking but they needed to take her in overnight as her heart rate was very fast and not slowing down.
    At this point we're all a bit worried, and we ask the paramedics should one of us come with her.
    Because we were drunk the paramedics told us no, she was in safe hands and that we should all go home and sleep it off.
    We didn't really wanna aggravate the paramedics more than we already had done with our arguing and foul language etc.
    So we all went home, I wake up about 4 hours later with a text from my friend saying shes had to have her stomach pumped, was puking up blood and a blood test found ket in her system, so her drink had been spiked.
    She's now not speaking to any of us for not coming to the hospital with her.
    I don't see what we've done wrong to warrant her to disown us, we did what we thought was the safest thing possible and we were explicitly told by paramedics that we couldn't come with her and told to go home.
    I've tried explaining this to her but she won't listen.
    So yeah, in this situation, do you think we did the right thing?
    What a terrible friend you are. Insulting your friend behind her back while she's fighting for her life, then leaving her in the hands of strangers so you can continue your night out... disgusting.
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    Emphasise that they said go home and you were drunk, then give it some time... If after a while she still feels the same, bring those friends and everyone talk to her...
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    (Original post by Rant)
    What a terrible friend you are. Insulting your friend behind her back while she's fighting for her life, then leaving her in the hands of strangers so you can continue your night out... disgusting.
    Are you for real :lolwut:
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    (Original post by AlmostChicGeek)
    Personally I don't know if you did the right thing. I understand the paramedics wouldn't let you come, but I would have kicked up a much greater fuss and would have made them let me go with her. There is no way that I would have let her go on her own. Basically I think you will just need to give her time to deal with it, did you kick up a big fuss or did you just accept it?
    sober... yes... but they were really drunk (so not thinking straight), they didn't know it was that serious and their prescence would have probably done more harm than good... arguing with paramedics certainly wouldn't have helped her.
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    If my friend just went home to bed after I had collapsed and been taken to hospital, I think i would be angry. Personally, I would have made my own way to the hospital to make sure my friend was ok. I totally understand why the paramedics told you to go, drunks make their job 10x harder than it needs to be.
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    (Original post by AlmostChicGeek)
    First of all, there is no need to use caps-lock thanks. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean that you need to become confrontational.

    Secondly, you have no proof that it would make it worse (just as I have no proof that it would have definitely worked), and the OP has already said that she has regretted not trying harder. The paramedics said that the OP and her friends needed to sleep it off, which is true but the OP has said that they could have pushed for it more, than simply accepting that. There was no need to be aggressive, but demand in rather firm but polite way that they want to be their for their sick friend.

    I fail to see how that would make it worse.

    And also, what harm would their be in getting a taxi to hospital to try and be there for the sick friend? That also falls under the idea that they could have tried harder. How would that make it worse?
    They're drunk.... They were rowdy to begin with, I doubt they'd be in a state to rationally think of pushing more towards going with her while trying to make sure the paramedic does not get pissed off, since that's the reason why they accepted going home in the first place, because they thought the guy was annoyed...


    Hell, if i were in their position, even when sober, I wouldn't have even considered the thought (despite wanting to) about asking again until I get half way home :/
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    (Original post by Bellissima)
    sober... yes... but they were really drunk (so not thinking straight), they didn't know it was that serious and their prescence would have probably done more harm than good... arguing with paramedics certainly wouldn't have helped her.
    I appreciate all of that, and have addressed that in later posts. Going in an ambulance is serious in my book, and in later posts I have mentioned that they could have gotten a taxi to the hospital and tried to be there for her.

    The OP accepts that she could have done more - which is true, but nothing can be done now. I accept that hindsight equals 20/20 vision, but she asked me my opinion and I explained to her what I would have done/what may have been a better way to handle it.
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    (Original post by Dmon1Unlimited)
    They're drunk.... They were rowdy to begin with, I doubt they'd be in a state to rationally think of pushing more towards going with her while trying to make sure the paramedic does not get pissed off, since that's the reason why they accepted going home in the first place, because they thought the guy was annoyed...


    Hell, if i were in their position, even when sober, I wouldn't have even considered the thought (despite wanting to) about asking again until I get half way home :/
    I appreciate all of that. I just believe that the priorities would be the friend rather than how annoyed the paramedic was - he was already annoyed and pushing to try and be there for your friend, trying to do everything possible so she wouldn't wake up alone, seems reasonable in my opinion.

    I was asked if what the OP did was right, and I believe that it was to some extent, however there was more that could be done, and as such I believe the sick friend is allowed to be annoyed about it at the moment.

    I understand hindsight is 20/20 vision, and I am not blaming the OP and saying that they were horrible or anything, just pointing out that there was more they could have done (which they accepted as a reasonable point) and that the sick friend is reasonable to be upset about it.

    And that may be the case I'm just offering my opinion, and I would strongly hope that I wouldn't remember half-way home, but rather do everything I could in the moment to be there for the sick friend, and if that meant getting a taxi to the hospital to try and see her then I would.
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    Can i just make it clear we didn't become aware of how bad she actually was until later on this morning, we just thought she'd had too much to drink. We weren't swearing AT the paramedics, we're not that stupid to verbally abuse them but we were stressing and swearing while talking to each other and we apologised for our behaviour. I would have gotten a taxi if I had the money but I had run out and didn't have enough on my card to withdraw and at the time I just wanted to go home which is selfish. Now I feel like I'm justifying my behaviour to a bunch of people on the internet. The way I see it, we should have behaved around the paramedics, and we should have had a bit more thought for our friend waking up in the hospital alone. She's recovering now and should be fine so thanks for your feedback. Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing?
 
 
 
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