Is this illegal and should I seek help from the Police? Watch
Unless you earn half of what would pay for your standard of living, you're by law dependent on your Mother, so it's technically illegal for her to kick you out. People just don't realize this and get abused.
*Illegal till over 25*
Other ideas are knocking on the door and trying anyway (she may surprise you), getting it out of her bin, waiting outside when she's going to bin it etc etc... not that all of these are good ideas, just options. It depends on what the stuff is as well. For example, clothes that you've managed without for a year, yes it would be nice and fair for you to have them but it's not that important. But stuff like documents and items of high value could make a big difference to your life so I would go further to get them back.
My fiancé is essentially estranged from his parents, since the summer (June) between our 2nd and 3rd years of uni (we just graduated). He didn't have any contact at all with them until xmas just gone but they had quite a bit of his stuff at their house. They asked his sister, who we still see, to arrange a meeting with him. He agreed on the condition that they bring his drum kit, and it worked, he got them. The meeting was no great reconciliation though, they basically ignored him. The situation is a little different to yours as he has less stuff there and he is no keener to make up than they are. But some kind of 'deal' might work still. Try and think of anything you can offer your mum, in way of contact (or non-contact), objects, whatever. See if you can barter it.
My mum threw me out over a year ago. I was 18. Since then I have tried to patch things up but no use. We have differing views on life.
Anyway, yesterday I learned that she's throwing all my stuff out/giving it to charity, even though I've said on many occasions that I want it back. She's throwing out clothes/books/documents/photos/tech etc. etc.
What can I do about this? It's legally my stuff, isn't it? Can I stop her? Can I get it back somehow if she doesn't want to give it to me? I don't know what to do! She's throwing out my whole life's worth of things!
Anyway good luck and I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation.
I left my abusive partner, who I shared a flat with. I slept on a friend's sofa and went to a drop in centre for Womens Aid. They sent an emegency case worker with me and arranged a police escort to my flat (to prevent a breach of the peace, not for enforcement or anything), where I had a few minutes to grab what stuff I could. I don't know if domestic violence was an issue in your case, but if it was, Women's Adi may be able to give you some practical help. I thought they were wonderful.
The outcome for me was that I got some stuff, but the vast majority of my stuff was lost, including all the furniture I had purchased, most of my clothes and shoes, all my CDs/DVDs, electronics, paperwork etc. Even a carpet steamer my Mum had lent me mysteriously "went missing". I stayed with a friend for 6 months before moving into my own place, where I pretty much had to start from scratch. I don't really own anything that's more than 2 years old (which is when I moved out).
So if worst comes to the worst, remember, its only stuff. Even if it was valuable, or sentimental, its just stuff. Stuff can be replaced. The more important thing is that you are safe, and you can start a new life now.
Yeah, but she can argue that she never agreed to transfer ownership, just let her daughter use the items while living in her house. Since there's unlikely to be a written agreement it's just one person's word against another, and that tends to favour whoever has possession.
I'd try this idea. You might have done something bad, but surely not everyone in your family hates you.
But it really got bad when I got a bf. I was 17, she didn't like the fact that I had a boyfriend, got angry, violent. As well as that, I'd just applied to Uni, and she didn't like my choice of course. She wanted me to study engineering or medicine, and stay home in London, study from home so she could keep an eye on me, but I'd chosen to study at Liverpool (on my gap year atm, start in sept.) The tension built up, she got more violent and finally one day it escalated over an argument about me talking to my bf on my mobile. She gave me 1/2hr to get my stuff and leave.
Since then every time we met/talked, she's commented viciously on my future, how I'm going to fail, how I'll be in massive debt and spiral into depression and become a drunk homeless w***e. And that it was all because I didn't love her and listen to her and do what she told me.
Finally now she's throwing my stuff out. Even though I had asked repeatedly to get it back.