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Confusing Guy: Opinions Appreciated watch

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    (Original post by nuclear_pavlova)


    bk to the scenario...................Ive come to the conclusion that MEN ARE CONFUSING :eek: Im sure most girls would agree
    just see what happens...move on perhaps and start meeting other people! take advantage of being single!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx good luck
    They sure, sure are! I guess I'm mainly bummed out cause I thought it was going so well and the fact that's he's off with someone else just like that.

    I do agree that it's better this has all happened now, it would have been a lot worse if we'd have carried on for all this to happen in the summer.

    I think the main problem was that although we were only seeing eachother we did go a bit 'WOAH' in such a short space of time, to the extent where people thought we were actually boyf/girlf. (I probably saw him 6 outta 7 days a week). I think we got a little carried away without realising what we were doing.

    I reckon we would have been having to have a talk when I got back from Easter anyways because feelings had developed further than it 'just being a bit of fun' on both sides. I think in hindsight, although we had a lot of fun, we would have been better off being friends from the start, because we do get on really well with eachother. But then there was something more there and I think with us both being single then something more probably would have happened anyway. We've both agreed it was 'wrong place, wrong time'. Which seems to have happened to me a lot since I've been at uni :rolleyes:

    I know I'm bound to bump into him when I'm back at uni cause we go out to the same places and our respective groups of friends go out together too sometimes and I think this is gonna be a little awkward the first few times. Like I'd wanna act like I wasn't bothered, was completely fine etc but then I don't wanna act like I didn't care at all if you get what I mean? And I've got some of his stuff and he's got some of mine, so I'm gonna have to see him unless we both take it to a mutual friend's house ...

    Urgh, nothing is ever straightforward with men with me.
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    (Original post by nuclear_pavlova)
    ...................Ive come to the conclusion that MEN ARE CONFUSING :eek: Im sure most girls would agree
    just see what happens...
    The reason girls think men are confusing is because they are straight forward. Girls worry and look into things to much then get confused about whats happened.

    There's nothing confusing in your example at all.....
    1)He Liked you alot
    2)Unsure if wanted relationship
    3)Decided he liked you alot and wanted to give it a try
    4)Spoke to you and explained exactly this

    Nothing complacated at all just don't think into it to much
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    I think you have the right to pissed off, the behaviour you describe however short the time was certainly him leading you on. His behaviour is understandible but it wasnt fair on you. Not knowing any detail I would say that there are some girls who a guy had as a teenage crush who they will drop a long term relationship for in a minute, given they live in the same area could this be the explanation? Either that or he is shallow not wanting to be deprived of holiday sex, or perhaps he just found the other girl more attractive.

    A lot of the time the people you date are not perfect, because no one is. People are always forced to settle for something kinda good, they can even love Mr or Mrs Kindagood or marry them, and sometimes when something better comes along thats it and off they go with Mr or Mrs Slightlybetta. Seeing as everyones attraction and tastes are to some degree subjective, that doesnt mean she is better than you, I doubt she is, perhaps it just is the living closer. Anyway he is a silly boy and you can live without him, learn your lesson, say after the third time you have sex with someone that you are not just looking for casual sex and do they want to be with you. The problem is he did give you an impression that he cared beyond just sex, so even without a 'we are now going out officially' talk you had the right to expect fidelity. What you got was short of that - honesty (which gives him a bit of credit) - but you deserve better than him - move on, and under no circumstances ever dream of sleeping with him again. You cant reward men for messing you around it only encourages them.
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    Wow, im going through almost exactly what he is, I just wasn't as honest...But it wasn't as deep of a relationship
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    (Original post by pendragon)
    I think you have the right to pissed off, the behaviour you describe however short the time was certainly him leading you on. His behaviour is understandible but it wasnt fair on you. Not knowing any detail I would say that there are some girls who a guy had as a teenage crush who they will drop a long term relationship for in a minute, given they live in the same area could this be the explanation? Either that or he is shallow not wanting to be deprived of holiday sex, or perhaps he just found the other girl more attractive.

    A lot of the time the people you date are not perfect, because no one is. People are always forced to settle for something kinda good, they can even love Mr or Mrs Kindagood or marry them, and sometimes when something better comes along thats it and off they go with Mr or Mrs Slightlybetta. Seeing as everyones attraction and tastes are to some degree subjective, that doesnt mean she is better than you, I doubt she is, perhaps it just is the living closer. Anyway he is a silly boy and you can live without him, learn your lesson, say after the third time you have sex with someone that you are not just looking for casual sex and do they want to be with you. The problem is he did give you an impression that he cared beyond just sex, so even without a 'we are now going out officially' talk you had the right to expect fidelity. What you got was short of that - honesty (which gives him a bit of credit) - but you deserve better than him - move on, and under no circumstances ever dream of sleeping with him again. You cant reward men for messing you around it only encourages them.
    It's really good to hear a guy saying that so thanks.
    From what he was saying to his friend it was all about the distance, but I guess I'll 100% know for sure.
    I definitely won't be sleeping with him.
    My biggest dilemma at the moment is whether I should try and be friends with him. He's said he'd like to keep in touch and be friends but that it's up to me. I know it's a bit soon to be thinking about it now cause the wound's still open but part of me is thinking that I shouldn't 'try' to be friends with so much but just be pleasant when I do see him etc.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's really good to hear a guy saying that so thanks.
    From what he was saying to his friend it was all about the distance, but I guess I'll 100% know for sure.
    I definitely won't be sleeping with him.
    My biggest dilemma at the moment is whether I should try and be friends with him. He's said he'd like to keep in touch and be friends but that it's up to me. I know it's a bit soon to be thinking about it now cause the wound's still open but part of me is thinking that I shouldn't 'try' to be friends with so much but just be pleasant when I do see him etc.
    I think its worth trying to be friends with ex's if they behaved honourably, Im not sure this guy has, but if you forgive him and want to be friends you should give it a try. The key thing is you shouldnt talk or email each other for at least a month after what was in reality a de facto break up. Then it becomes easier to start of again as friends. You should just arrange to get your stuff back and then propose this to him.
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    Yeah that sounds like a really good plan. I'm not going to talk to him for a while and I don't really think he'd start up a conversation with me via msn or text unless I started one first, which is good.

    The only problem is seeing him out, especially as our groups of friends mix when we're out and sometimes we all go out together as a group. Obviously I don't want to just ignore him like he's not there because then it would seem like I'm bitter.

    So do you guys reckon not to go out of my way to talk to him but when I see him be pleasant and speak when spoken to kinda thing?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So do you guys reckon not to go out of my way to talk to him but when I see him be pleasant and speak when spoken to kinda thing?
    Exactly, if you bump into him be charming, upbeat and friendly, but try not to get drawn into a proper conversation.
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    Yeah ... it's hard ... at the moment all I wanna do is kick him in the head and tell him he's a *crude word beginning with a c* and that he should try and think with his head sometimes and not something else ...
 
 
 
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