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You Cant Be Best Frinds With Opposite Sex watch

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    you CAN be best friends with opposite sex. i have 2 male friends who i count as being among my best friends. fair enuf i have fallen for one of the them in th past and it took me a while to get over it, but now i have, we have one of the closest relationships ever. the other guy, i've known since i was 7 and we weren't all that close at first but in the past couple of years, we've bonded loads. i can honestly say, at least on my part, i've never had feelings for him and i doubt he has had for me either. so it IS possible!! i've got plenty of close lad mates at uni who i've maybe pulled but despite that, we're close as mates too!! haha.
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    id say you CAN be good freinds, but im not sure the opposite sex can be anyones cloest or best freind...not in my experience anyway.
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    My best friend is a girl (in fact, both my best friends are!)

    Having said that, I am a screaming queen and they're two big faghags, so maybe it doesn't count! :p: :laugh:
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    I am best friends with a guy and I know he wants to sleep with me vice versa but it's never going to happen.
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    (Original post by yo-less)
    Unless you're gay/lesbian. Ahhhhhh....
    no i reckon gays have it the hardest
    as i lesbian; if i'm best mates with a guy there is the risk of him falling for me (don't mean to sound big-headed - the liklihood is a guy wouldn't fall for me) and if i'm best mates with a girl which is more often the case then there is the possibility of me fancying them
    lose-lose
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    (Original post by MrImperfect)
    One of you always ends up falling for the other :confused:
    Nope. I have some VERY close male friends and our relationship is ENTIRELY platonic.
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    (Original post by MrImperfect)
    One of you always ends up falling for the other :confused:
    I totally get you. Strangely it has happened the other way round for me. 2 of my best friends that are boys both fell for me and as they know I am not going out with either of them, to stay close to me (and me to them) we are best friends. When the first boy liked me I wasn't really in the mood for a boyfriend and I was extremely busy. Now with the second one, I can't choose and I don't want to hurt anyone so I am keeping them both close to my heart. Eventually, I think I am going to make a decision but it will break my heart as well as whoever doesn't get chosen. No idea what to do. Trying not to think about it 'til the time comes (if it does).
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    schmokie, For you it may be but not for them, they wanna jump your bones. Copied and pasted from the ladder theory- ''Your friend doesn't find you attractive, or he's currently doing better, or he's gay or you're wrong.''
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    I have a couple of really close female friends. I find it very useful especially when you want advice on what presents to buy your girlfriend etc. Also good when things go tits up with your girlfriend. They also ask me loads of questions about boys stuff so it can happen.

    Just don't get pissed and sleep with any of them. Made that mistake once!
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    my best friend is a guy, we've been best friends for 4 years so it can be done!
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    why people take that laddertheory ****e as gospel is beyond me
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    Yes, you can. A lot of my friends are guys, but the ones I'm closest to usually tend to be girls. My best friend is a girl, and has been for 7 years now.

    (Original post by freshestkid)
    Ladies and gentlemen, allow me if i may, to to point you to www.laddertheory.com . Although I don't agree with everything it has to say, i agree with MOST of it! And Kate, they all want to jump your bones, they just aren't on the right ladder, as you will see if you read the above site!
    Seen that before, and hate it cos I know it's true :mad:
    I always tend to get put on the crap list when it comes to girls I like. I'll break it though....
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    I don't know about all this 'best friends' stuff to be honest. Isn't that a bit junior school?

    I have several extremely close friends both male and female and they are all very dear to me and I love them to bits. The only thing which has ever happened is that I started off with a massive crush on one of these guys, but then got over it and we became very good mates instead. So I'd say it is perfectly possible..and fairly easy to be friends with people of both sexes.
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    i have several female friends and havent slept with them (ok i have many whom i have but thats another matter) its something that has never come up but i have friends ive had for years and nothing like that has ever come about. I just dont view them that way
    so yes you can be just friends
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    My best mate is female, I did have a thing for her though when we first met, but I now love her as a friend and nothing more. I deffo think you can be best mates with a girl, heck most of my closest mates are female.
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    Same thread, different day:

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?p=4227335
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    In my case, it's the total opposite - it's very likely that neither of us will NOT fall for each other, and this is certainly the case with my best friends. Many of my friends are female, but we are not attracted to each other in any way - if you are heterosexual, are you attracted to every person of the opposite sex you befriend?

    And that ladder theory certainly isn't always true, and to me, seems almost spoofish or at least reserved for immature teenagers... Unless I am a freak of nature (come to think of it, I might be, but oh well) I am an 18 year old male and I really don't care for sex, I have the normal sexual desires, but it does not transfer into wanting to have sex with many pretty women I meet. My only desire is close emotional intimacy (either romantically or as a friendship), I couldn't give a flying **** about sex, it's nice, but I could easily live without it as long as I had at least some sort physical intimacy in a relationship, and when I want to have children. Perhaps it has something to do with growing up with women, or being bisexual, but I tend to respect them much more, and rarely view them in a "sexual context" unless I were to romantically become close to them. I am not saying this to be socially correct or to satisfy women's views, these are my genuine views, and unless my desire for a romantic connection is an underlaid by a bizarre subconscious desire for sex all the time, I can't see how my desires are not genuine in my own mind.
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    hmm. I tend to have male mates who always fall for me, but then I don't like them.
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    that's crap! my best friend is a guy and we've been best friends going on four years now I think? we did date for less than a month before we decided it wouldn't work out. And I'm not a person who dates for sex. No way.
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    (Original post by Spenceman_)
    Some people can, or claim that they can and I don't have any reason not to believe them, because everybody is different, but I don't think I can in general.

    With all my guy friends it feels like the friendship is unbounded...like we can continue to "bond" indefinitely and there's never anything gay about it but with female friends it has always seemed obvious to me that the natural progression for two people of the opposite sex, as they get closer and closer, is infact love and sex. Nature's way or something, sure.
    I agree with spencer, with guy friends there aren't really any boundaries... you can do pretty much what you want with no questions asked, obviously as long as its not overtly sexual.

    With female friends, i find there is often a certain amount of attraction too, i guess because people don't look for totally different things in friends and lovers. as friends get closer i guess at least one party will start reading things into the other actions, like the OP is, which can get awkward if they are innocent in nature.

    When this happens i think its best to let it out and find out where you stand, i had a bit of a thing for a friend once and thought it might be reciprocated, but i got a common friend to make some (not so subtle) enquires. and she knew i was into her and didn't want to take things any further. once i knew where i stood, it was much easier to continue on as friends.

    on the other hand i started to get closer and closer to another female friend, spending a lot of time together etc, and i found the whole thing quite fun, like a puzzle, trying to work out where i stood, what she thought, what to do next, but it worked out great and now we're going out properly.
 
 
 
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