Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Lap Dancing, Strip Clubs & a girlfriend?? watch

Announcements
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Hmm, could be the 'finding someone else' thing, equally could be the fact that he's cheated on someone, so now he's paranoid about other people doing it to him - hard to know without knowing him myself. Anyway, in ref to your original post, dont kick his arse or anythin, but make your position clear. If he carries on you could dissuade him by getting a male stripper to 'pop by' next time you're together, see how he likes that?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    He shouldn't have lied to you. That is not good for your relationship. Just tell him firmly not to do it again.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GLaMouR)
    one of the lads??? then surely i should be able to be one of the girls?? he is 23 years old shouldnt he have grown up already?
    In answer to that one

    1. Yes
    2. Yes (a long time ago)
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by freshestkid)
    If he carries on you could dissuade him by getting a male stripper to 'pop by' next time you're together, see how he likes that?
    Hehehe, nice idea.:p:
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by freshestkid)
    Hmm, could be the 'finding someone else' thing, equally could be the fact that he's cheated on someone, so now he's paranoid about other people doing it to him - hard to know without knowing him myself. Anyway, in ref to your original post, dont kick his arse or anythin, but make your position clear. If he carries on you could dissuade him by getting a male stripper to 'pop by' next time you're together, see how he likes that?
    is that "finding someone else" on his behalf or mine? i think if i pop at him because of it he'd do it behind my back anyway. He's going away on a lads weekend again this week
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GLaMouR)
    I dont want to sound insensitive but it could be that he hasnt told you when he has?? My bf says he regrets telling me now and it was better that he doesnt tell me these things....
    How nice of him :rolleyes:

    Basically whatever you do it won't change what he's doing. If you get really pissed off with him then he will just stop telling you, which he has already indicated by the sound of it. If you don't tell him you're not happy with it then he'll assume you don't mind and carry on as before.

    I would be annoyed if my boyfriend had been having lapdances behind my back. However, on a stag do or whatever it's likely just to be a laugh with the lads, I really wouldn't worry about it.
    Offline

    10
    Put on your own strip show for him. Then say dont do it again and never talk about it.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GLaMouR)
    I dont want to sound insensitive but it could be that he hasnt told you when he has?? My bf says he regrets telling me now and it was better that he doesnt tell me these things....
    No, I'm 100% positive. i've said if he wants to go again I'd rather he just told me first. Thankfully we have a pretty open relationship
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GLaMouR)
    is that "finding someone else" on his behalf or mine? i think if i pop at him because of it he'd do it behind my back anyway. He's going away on a lads weekend again this week
    the 'finding someone else' thing was in reference to his ex who you said might've found someone else or summat, it might've knocked his confidence (just random ideas runnin round my head now).
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BombShell)
    No, I'm 100% positive. i've said if he wants to go again I'd rather he just told me first. Thankfully we have a pretty open relationship

    Ok so its either a problem with the relationship... him..... me...... or im over racting. Hopefully i'll be able to keep my cool with him and say i dont like what he's doing and threaten him a bit by saying he better watch himself :p:

    Its become clear that he has some insecurity issues and when he goes out he tries to be the biggest show off. His quiet an average kind of guy and i thought i was with him because he was different from other guys. OBVIOUSLY NOT!! Now my friends are telling me, and they've always asked me what the hell am i doing with him? I love him? Even though he does things to upset me
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    To be honest I think in a nutshell he's being pretty selfish. The bottom line is there's one rule for you and one rule for him. He can't expect for you to not be worried about him going to strip clubs, and yet be bothered about you talking to other men. Some people put up with that, but the fact that you've come on here to ask about it shows how unhappy you are with the situation. You need to explain to him (not have a go) that you don't like the idea of him going. Spell it out that its his choice but it makes you unhappy. Its up to him then really. Also, regarding the comments saying that maybe he's insecure, this sounds like a very likely option. You two just really need to sit down and talk.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by freshestkid)
    the 'finding someone else' thing was in reference to his ex who you said might've found someone else or summat, it might've knocked his confidence (just random ideas runnin round my head now).
    No i think it knocked up its confidence even more since his girlfirend was at the same uni as us and i guess it was a way to show her he'd found someone else too. even though she isnt with anyone now?

    P.S i did the same with my ex i broke up with my ex because of the long distance thing and i found my current bf :eek:

    thinking i was stuped in doing so now
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BombShell)
    To be honest I think in a nutshell he's being pretty selfish. The bottom line is there's one rule for you and one rule for him. He can't expect for you to not be worried about him going to strip clubs, and yet be bothered about you talking to other men. Some people put up with that, but the fact that you've come on here to ask about it shows how unhappy you are with the situation. You need to explain to him (not have a go) that you don't like the idea of him going. Spell it out that its his choice but it makes you unhappy. Its up to him then really. Also, regarding the comments saying that maybe he's insecure, this sounds like a very likely option. You two just really need to sit down and talk.
    I cant exactly stop him going out on a lads weekend because i dont like the idea of him paying for a naked tittilating dance? I know many of his friends that have stopped going on these weekends away because "they cant afford it" ... in reality its because their gfs dont like it! and they get abosultely cained because of it.... my boyfriend being the main person ripping the **** out of them because of it.

    I never wanted a jack the lad boyfriend!! where the hell is the nice guy i thought i was going out with gone?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GLaMouR)
    I know many of his friends that have stopped going on these weekends away because "they cant afford it" ... in reality its because their gfs dont like it! and they get abosultely cained because of it.... my boyfriend being the main person ripping the **** out of them because of it.
    If there's other lads who don't go because of that reason, then your boyfriend has no legitimate excuse really, its not as though he'd be the only one. And the fact that its him who tries to show up his friends demonstrates that hes both insecure and childish. His friends put up with the p**s taking from him because they're mature enough to realise that they know what they want to keep. Hmm, I'm really not liking the sound of this lad (no offense!) I went out with a guy for 2 years before my current bloke who sounds just like him. Didn't end pretty!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GLaMouR)
    he is 23 years old shouldnt he have grown up already?
    No. He's a guy.. some of them are utterly hopeless. Though he still should have enough sense to understand how this whole thing makes you feel.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BombShell)
    If there's other lads who don't go because of that reason, then your boyfriend has no legitimate excuse really, its not as though he'd be the only one. And the fact that its him who tries to show up his friends demonstrates that hes both insecure and childish. His friends put up with the p**s taking from him because they're mature enough to realise that they know what they want to keep. Hmm, I'm really not liking the sound of this lad (no offense!) I went out with a guy for 2 years before my current bloke who sounds just like him. Didn't end pretty!
    i think its because he cant be hypocritical infront of his friends can he now?:p:

    If you dont mind me asking about your situation in your last relationship. How did it end? was it a joint decision or just yours...
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by starya)
    No. He's a guy.. some of them are utterly hopeless. Though he still should have enough sense to understand how this whole thing makes you feel.
    haha! and the funny thing is he tells me im still a bit immature when say certain things.. i am a couple of years younger then him though, i am allowed right? :p:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I ended it, I got bored of the fighting and the worrying... he obviously didn't have a great deal of respect for me and thus I couldn't see it going anywhere. I was gutted but he took the biscuit when it came to being a lad, his priorities were basically alcohol, mates, football, gambling, women, smoking... me! Anyway, I was gutted, but only a month later I met my current bloke who is just amazing I'm actually just off to meet him now, he's cooking me dinner But good luck with everything, you just need to sit down and have a good chat with him and be honest with each other. If he can't do that then he's not worth it.

    Good luck hun xx
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    i think its ok for him to go to strip clubs sometimes- tho im sure guys dont do this eg every week.

    as for the private dances- thats a bit of a dodgy area. it depends on the club what exactly it involves - all clubs have a look but dont touch policy however my friend used to work as a dancer in a very posh one and got paid on the side for *ahem* EXTRA SERVICES. she eventually gor pregnant by accident with a client, tho i dont know if she was seeing him on the side or if it was part of a job, but to their credit they are still together and look after the child well.

    anyway. yea, i think its totally wrong for another girl to perform private dances for him, even if it is a naked dance. i dont get why he is doing this.
    Offline

    10
    dump his ass.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 11, 2006
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.