Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    i was in the same situation as you 2 months ago.... and i went for it, saying yes to him because i felt sorry for him n didnt want to let him down. but now, 2 months on i feel embarressed to be seen with him, and im telling you its horrible being with someone u dont really like, and he keeps on saying how much he loves me, and i have to tell him that i love him too, but i dont, and i feel really bad. but i dont want to break his heart.
    Dont do it girl, unless your happy with it beacuse if you dont feel the same about each other then its gonna get really tough. Dont fall into the same hole i did
    Offline

    10
    ......dude, you really dont think thats a good idea do you?

    "what IF you end up liking him... " :/

    its hoping someone will change when they won't, bad idea she said she didnt fancy him. If later on she decides she fancied him it would be a much healthier relationship.

    You dont start going out with someone to try and change them because usually, they wont, so its a waste of your time, and confusing for the person you manipulated.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey everyone, so I just started something with this guy who's had a crush on me for ages - I don't actually fancy him, but he's normally really shy and he's got a huge confidence boost from it (he's never been out with anyone) so I think me acting like I'm interested is really good for him. I'm single and don't fancy anyone myself, so I just wondered if I should go out with him like he wants, as I'm not losing anything by it and it'd be really good for his confidence, I think.

    This sounds like a really stupid idea written down, but I swear you can see the change in him aleady! Does anyone have any advice? Should I do this for him or would it just make things worse in the long run? Argh! Help!
    One of my best friends had to make a similar decision a few years ago!

    She didnt fancy him, he had a crush on her after he spotted her dancing!

    He was extremely shy, very depressed guy, but she decided she wanted to get to know him and she thought he was realllly sweet.

    But beware, because you might feel normal, confident relaxed etc right now and so you're just doing this for him, it could actually hurt you in the end.

    With my friend, well it turns out he just wanted her for sex and so she felt used. So shy guys can at times be evil! so beware!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    No you shouldn't go out with someone cos you feel sorry for them. What happens when someone you really are interested in comes along?

    How about if he finds out the real reason you started dating him? How about when he wants to make out or possibly more? I don't think "Sorry I'm only dating you cos I think it makes you look better, so no kissing" is going to be a big confidence boost somehow.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mangaroo)
    ......dude, you really dont think thats a good idea do you?

    "what IF you end up liking him... " :/

    its hoping someone will change when they won't, bad idea she said she didnt fancy him. If later on she decides she fancied him it would be a much healthier relationship.

    You dont start going out with someone to try and change them because usually, they wont, so its a waste of your time, and confusing for the person you manipulated.
    I couldn't really give a **** to be honest, just putting an alternitive out there
    Offline

    10
    someone needs his chocomilk
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ~cherrykisses~)
    I feel embarrassed to be seen with him, and im telling you its horrible being with someone u dont really like, and he keeps on saying how much he loves me, and i have to tell him that i love him too, but i dont, and i feel really bad. but i dont want to break his heart.
    Cherry Kisses..the longer you keep this going then the worse it will be for him when you break up. The poor guy thinks you feel as crazy about him as he does about you. You have to end it. You have to end it soon and you cannot tell him that you were never really interested at all and just went out with him for pity because that would probably leave him devastated.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mangaroo)
    someone needs his chocomilk
    you what 'dude'?
    Offline

    10
    lol, pathetic.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mangaroo)
    lol, pathetic.
    you just posted about choco milk and then call me pathetic, Pot and kettle anyone?
    Offline

    10
    Wont argue with you. Go sleep DUDE
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mangaroo)
    Wont argue with you. Go sleep DUDE
    please stop calling me dude, it's really irritating
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by englishstudent)
    Terrible idea. The one piece of advice my grandfather has given me is: "Don't marry a girl because you feel sorry for her" and I think the same applies to your situation (despite the fact you are yourself of the female variety and marriage is hardly on the cards!)
    the one piece of advice my grandad has given me is not to trust people from birmingham, something to do with someone he served in the war with but not useful to this thread
    • #2
    #2

    ok so say you go out with him, 10/15 years later he asks to marry you/have babies with you, wud u do that- just to makehim happy?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    not a good idea. you're doing him a charity and when he finds out, it's gonna hurt him even more than rejection. Besides, this guy should know that just cos he hasn't ever been out with anyone doesn't mean he'll be like that forever. There's always a girl out there somewhere for him and he should just wait for her instead of desperately searching
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Yep its that advise time
    Run and live in a cave.

    Well thats how u might feel when your bf your dating who u don't like and have never liked is having sex with you.
    smiles after and says "i want to be with u forever"

    Run live in a cave

    Or

    Don't go out with him in the first place and findsome you actually like
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    and what happens when you get bored of him, realise you really don't fancy him at all and never will, and also find someone you do like?

    Its not your job to manage other people's lives. When it comes to love, sex and relationships, what you want is what needs to happen otherwise you will cause hurt and resentment.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    no. i don't think you should go out with him. it's really a bad idea.
    this situation sounds vaguely familiar though; almost like what a friend of mine is going through. but she's 18 so you're deffo not her. plus that guy was trying to get over me so i feel bad for her even though i would be happy for them if they ever go out with each other.
    the mistake that i made with that guy was that i think i might have led him on making him think that i fancied him where in reality i didn't. i was really friendly to him and all so he thought i liked him and that happened about 10 months ago. unfortunately that friend of mine was doing almost exactly the same thing as i did after school commenced and he started following her around like what he did to me. both of us made a very bad mistake because she claims that she doesn't like him to the extent of wanting him as her boyfriend. erm..perhaps you should talk and explain things to him and tell him that you like him but only as a friend. that's what i did, and we're still friends although not as close as before.
    just do what you think is right. you should be able to get through this like i did.
    Offline

    10
    no **** its a bad idea..whys it so hard to understand its like you haven't even read the replies.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You are a pathetic person to start a thread about this. I would suggest you do not date him as you are scum and he will be better off without you. I will not waste my time speaking to you any further. Good day
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 13, 2006
Poll
“Yanny” or “Laurel”

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.