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How do you cope being single? watch

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    It's true I think if I could throw myself into exercise I'd feel a lot better- can't afford to join a gym at the moment but think the sun might be able to force me into starting to go for a jog (at least until my body laughs at me for not taking care of it for so many months and gives up). I got with my boyfriend when I was thinner + happier with my weight (I'd just lost a stone after being rejected by a different guy), I stayed around 8 stone for a few months- my weight gradually increased + mood dropped, for the last 9 months I've been 10 stone ish (or within 1 stone of) and gutted because of it. I've never been fat and single before :eek: :eek: :eek: but the last time I finished a long term relationship I felt like I had nothing left + managed to kick my ass into losing some weight- for a short time anyway. I don't enjoy being a victim, it's pretty sh**- I'm only a victim of myself and to a lesser extent my a-hole of a Mum so I don't expect people to feel sorry for me just cos I'm fat.
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    The thought of being constrained to spending a large amount of time with one person bores me incredibly. I cope with being single by being able to do what the **** I like without some girl clinging onto my heels, refusing to let go, and forcing me to meet her little friends who I'd rather not spend an evening meeting thanks very much.
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's true I think if I could throw myself into exercise I'd feel a lot better- can't afford to join a gym at the moment but think the sun might be able to force me into starting to go for a jog (at least until my body laughs at me for not taking care of it for so many months and gives up). I got with my boyfriend when I was thinner + happier with my weight (I'd just lost a stone after being rejected by a different guy), I stayed around 8 stone for a few months- my weight gradually increased + mood dropped, for the last 9 months I've been 10 stone ish (or within 1 stone of) and gutted because of it. I've never been fat and single before :eek: :eek: :eek: but the last time I finished a long term relationship I felt like I had nothing left + managed to kick my ass into losing some weight- for a short time anyway. I don't enjoy being a victim, it's pretty sh**- I'm only a victim of myself and to a lesser extent my a-hole of a Mum so I don't expect people to feel sorry for me just cos I'm fat.
    i get what u mean. I also cant afford to go to gym not because i cant pay, it's because i need to save some money. I also planned to jog during summer time after the exams. It's not nice to see our own fat in the shower especially we've own a nice body before. at the moment I'm seven and a half stone(I'm not tall at all, in other words I'm short ). I look normal but I'm not as slim as i look because i can see my jelly belly when i'm in the bath. So i wanted to get ride of that piece of junk.
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    You've had a boyfriend all the time you've been doing your maturing and growing up... Maybe you should not see this as losing something but as gaining time to get to know who the hell you are. Spend the summer single and get to know what you want from life, what the issues you want to resolve are ie. WHY you binge eat not just what you can do about the eating.
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    how do you cope being in a relationship all the time. something i quite like about being single is not having to worry about what the other person wants to do. also you can talk to whoever the hell you like when you like and how you like. the only draw back with this is there is no man standing by your side to ward of the creeps.
    though i find friends can do this both male and female.
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    I think your bf is a very nice guy for stickin with you and dumping him is the stupidist thing ever.

    U think he is to good for you, he is caring keeps you going and attractive?
    I don't see what you want as it does not get much better. I think he can do better so you should be fighting to keep him not dump him. Go ahead dump him it will be the best thing you have done for him.
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    Meh - I dislike singledom. I'd love to have a nice sexy boyfriend.
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    (Original post by zav)
    I think your bf is a very nice guy for stickin with you and dumping him is the stupidist thing ever.

    U think he is to good for you, he is caring keeps you going and attractive?
    I don't see what you want as it does not get much better. I think he can do better so you should be fighting to keep him not dump him. Go ahead dump him it will be the best thing you have done for him.
    Wow- confusing! I've told him a million times he could do better than me, and I know I won't get anyone nicer than him. Not sure if he does keep me going though, I'm bingeing and fat despite being with him- just wondering whether being single would give me the opportunity not to 'hide behind him'. He is lovely for sticking with me but just because I'm grateful to him doesn't mean it always works out. Dumping him, although I think would do him a favour, would really break his heart, he feels secure and enjoys having a girlfriend even if it is me!
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    This is the first time i have been single since i was 17 and it is hard. All of my freinds are loved up and spending time with them seems to be rubbing my nose in it. But i know its for the best and i need to get used to being alone, and be confident in my own company. I could go and get someone else to block out how painful it is to have lost my ex, but that wouldn't be fair on them or me. It is hard being alone and not having someone there, but when i'm a stronger person in myself i'll be able to attract someone who is more likely to be suited to my needs, and i'll be a better girlfriend because i won't be so needy.
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    I dont need to 'cope' with being single, its not something that needs to be coped with. If im single im single, if i have a gf its good.
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    (Original post by Sarky)
    This is the first time i have been single since i was 17 and it is hard. All of my freinds are loved up and spending time with them seems to be rubbing my nose in it. But i know its for the best and i need to get used to being alone, and be confident in my own company. I could go and get someone else to block out how painful it is to have lost my ex, but that wouldn't be fair on them or me. It is hard being alone and not having someone there, but when i'm a stronger person in myself i'll be able to attract someone who is more likely to be suited to my needs, and i'll be a better girlfriend because i won't be so needy.
    More power to you lol that's a good point, most of my friends have boyfriends + it would feel 'rubbed in' but then seeing beautiful slim girls with thier boyfriends I still feel jealous that I'm a rubbish girlfriend in comparison. Would be great to be 'confident in my own company'- have been having therapy for eating disorders, trying to work out why I binge etc, kinda boils down to feeling v isolated at home because my sisters have left home + my Mum doesn't really see me as a person, she values my academic success and hates that I'm fat, she loves my other sister because she is thin and beautiful. Such a hippy thing to say but within my family I'm not 'valued or appreciated just for being me' and I'm scared that nobody else can see past my hideous figure + accept me as a person. Cos I certainly don't! Maybe if I was single for a bit I'd be able to lose a bit of weight + try and find out what kind of a person I am underneath all the bingeing and trying to please my boyfriend. Hopefully I can be a not so needy girlfriend one day too.
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    Well, for the moment I'm straying away from singledom- staying with my boyfriend- he was v upset I'd even mentioned that things weren't going as well as they have been. Don't think I've got anything to gain by being without him, particularly as I'm a v weak person. Cheers for the advice
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hiya- I've been with my boyfriend for about 16 mths (minus 1 month last October when we broke up) but I don't think we'll stay together when I go to Uni in September.
    Since about year 10 I've always had a boyfriend + I'm so insecure and rubbish when I'm single I'm scared I'll never be able to cope.
    I'm fat- nearly overweight- and binge eat although am trying (unsuccessfully at the moment) to stop and to lose weight. Over the summer I will definately lose weight before uni and hopefully this will give me more confidence to meet people and cope with being single.
    At the moment I'm not getting on great with my boyfriend and keep getting arsey with him, although mostly because I hate the way I look a LOT and feel pretty down a lot of the time because of bingeing + regretting having let myself go + let go of a lot of my close friends + a lot of things I used to enjoy doing (running, basketball, music, shopping etc) because of getting fat.
    It's nice to have him to reassure me but I get snappy easily + sometimes get pretty annoyed with him.
    I'm not even sure if I still love him but I really think I NEED him because I feel so bad about myself without him I'd have noone to reassure me I'm worth talking to/looking at/ spending time with let alone worth loving. He's there for me to talk to a lot of the time but often has different opinions or I'm scared he'll get fed up of me being blue + failing to stop bingeing.
    Not sure whether there's the possibility of us splitting up over the last few months but it might happen.
    HOW the hell do people (esp people who aren't skinny and beautiful) cope with being single? How do you cope without someone you KNOW will be there for you if you call or text? Can I be single and retain a morsel of self-respect or will I spiral out of control + become even more of a loser?
    Anyone got any ideas?
    Cheers xxx
    I was always involved in some sort of relationship from being in year 9 through to the end of sixth form and I have been single for about a year now. Surely you have friends, or are you one of those people who has ended up losing all thier friends because they are so involved in a relationship. Just enjoy being yourself. Trust me it is quite fun being single once you get past all the heartache. If you have lost your friends and love of life due to feeling bad about what you are then I would say that you need to get out into the world and enjoy life. That way being single won't be a huge issue. I know it is the same old thing that is always said but go and find a hobby, surely you are interested in something. Life shouldn't be about coping with being single, it should be about enjoying being single until you find someone really special.
    • #3
    #3

    Argh-girls like you make me ashamed to be female! Why do you feel that you need a man to 'complete' you? You just perpetrate all the needy and insecure female stereotypes that hold back women in our society!
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    LOL! The question is how do you cope NOT being single?

    Seriously just imagine how much you have missed by not being single.

    I only have had a few serious relationships and none of them has lasted for more than 4 months. I never feel happy when I have a girlfirend. Im more the partying type and not the cuddling and holding hands in front of the TV type. There are too many downsides the biggest being NO FREEDOM.
    But I guess if you are "in love" or something than you might think alittle different. I have sofar never "been in love" with a girl so when I do I might think differently. Everyone is different.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Argh-girls like you make me ashamed to be female! Why do you feel that you need a man to 'complete' you? You just perpetrate all the needy and insecure female stereotypes that hold back women in our society!
    She's insecure and frightened, it's not like it's a mindset that she can just snap out of. Brilliant for you if you never feel like that at all but I think it's surprisingly common, and *****ing at her about it doesn't help whatsoever.
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    How do you cope with being single?

    well it's simple really, you grab it by the balls and enjoy every damn second, thats how.

    i really don't understand why people find the concept of singledom so traumatic :confused: imo, it makes for more fun.
    • #4
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    This is how I cope with being single- pretend I'm alright with it.
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    No offence but what the hell is wrong with being single!? I used to have a whale of a time when I was single especially when i was 18-21!
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    this is the weird thing....sometimes i think im just with ppl for the security as opposed to wanting to be with them... only realised in the last few weeks i just hate being alone...always ont he phone or msn... pathetic! and yes i swear by rabbit- so not so many problems without sex

    although im single at the moment and really enjoying not having to answer to anyone! but its the times when you get home i want to cuddle someone- guess you cant have the best of both worlds...
 
 
 
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