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# Maths Joke! watch

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1. (Original post by YYYY)
And somehow that is hilarious.
No. It's a **** joke.
2. (Original post by MrSornia)
Awwww Mockíúlin,
More Math jokes:
Some reasons why I didn't do my homework.
1) Isaac Newton's Birthday
2) I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
3) I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove it converged.
4) I took a break for a coffee and a doughnut but couldn't decide which one to dunk.
5) I locked my work in my briefcase but a 4-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
6) I swear I put my work in a Klein bottle but the next morning I couldn't find it.

There were 4 more hanging around which I forget, but those are my faves; 5) always makes me smile
I tried using these at school over a few weeks. No-one believed me.
I couldn't use the first one though because his birthday is on 4 January. Didn't have school then.
3. (Original post by manga)
e^x was at a party, sitting alone in a corner.
"Why don't you integrate yourself into the party?" asked x^2.

"It wouln't make any difference, I'm always the same"
Actually if e^x integrated itself, then it would have a +c constant friend!
4. (Original post by Gnarl)
Actually if e^x integrated itself, then it would have a +c constant friend!
True, but the e^x would be unchanged. It's like it had an alien burst from its' stomach, who could join the party, but then the e function would heal like wolverine and get back to being a loner... :s
5. Q. what's the integral of one over cabin?

(everyone thinks theyre a smart arse and says log cabin)

A. boat house -> log cabin + C(sea)
6. (Original post by τequιıasunrıse)
The fifth result down explains it:

"People have been asking me for an explanation of the joke. Here goes. The basis of it is that fact that |epsilon| > 0 frequently appears in delta-epsilon proofs, and in other math too I would guess. The pun in |epsilon| < 0 is that, though it looks almost like |epsilon| > 0, which is legitimate, an absolute value cannot be less than 0. That is, |x| means the absolute value of x, which means remove the sign from x, make it positive. Thus while |epsilon| < 0 at first glance (and second glance) looks perfectly normal, after a moment, math nerds notice that it is completely impossible and nonsensical, which to me is the irony which makes it funny. There, I've dissected it, you happy now? :-D"

Erm...
Oh.

That's worse than I initially thought then.

I mean, why choose epsilon? I could've said "Let |alpha| < 0 ...hahahaha!"

F*** you vyrus (aka nerdy maths guy who made the joke worse).
7. Two cats are sliding down a roof, which one falls off first?

The one with the smallest mew
8. I like to work out a log after a big meal.
9. (Original post by τequιıasunrıse)
The fifth result down explains it:

"People have been asking me for an explanation of the joke. Here goes. The basis of it is that fact that |epsilon| > 0 frequently appears in delta-epsilon proofs, and in other math too I would guess. The pun in |epsilon| < 0 is that, though it looks almost like |epsilon| > 0, which is legitimate, an absolute value cannot be less than 0. That is, |x| means the absolute value of x, which means remove the sign from x, make it positive. Thus while |epsilon| < 0 at first glance (and second glance) looks perfectly normal, after a moment, math nerds notice that it is completely impossible and nonsensical, which to me is the irony which makes it funny. There, I've dissected it, you happy now? :-D"

Erm...
It's just 'let epsilon>0', nobody writes 'let |epsilon|>0'.
The 'joke' should perhaps be 'let epsilon<=0', since that's the negation of the statement 'let epsilon>0'.
It's not a very funny joke at all - probably the best thing about it is how it confuses and annoys those who don't study Mathematics.
10. (Original post by chazzinio)
I like to work out a log after a big meal.
lol. That is actually funny.
11. "What is Pi?"
A mathematician: "Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."
A teacher: "Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision."
A physicist: "Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005."
An engineer: "Pi is about 22/7."
A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"
12. A muslim cleric walks in a maths class by accident and the teacher gets annoyed. They both start arguing. As he's about to leave the cleric says 'I hate you, rot in hell' and the teacher shouts back 'This is an al-gebra class, Not an al-qeada one!!!!!!!!'
13. (Original post by mockelinho)
Let epsilon be < 0

--.

ahahan you crazy fool, you're so funny!
14. (Original post by manga)
e^x was at a party, sitting alone in a corner.
"Why don't you integrate yourself into the party?" asked x^2.

"It wouln't make any difference, I'm always the same"

-----------

haha. Add yours, if you have any.
my maths teacher told me that joke last thursday!! but he couldnt remember it properly

haha
15. another terrible maths joke courtesy of my maths teacher:

F(X) walks into a bar, and says I'd like a pint of lager and a packet of crisps. Barmaid goes: Sorry love, we dont cater for functions.

16. (Original post by IainM)
another terrible maths joke courtesy of my maths teacher:

F(X) walks into a bar, and says I'd like a pint of lager and a packet of crisps. Barmaid goes: Sorry love, we dont cater for functions.

I actually laughed out loud.
17. (Original post by IainM)
another terrible maths joke courtesy of my maths teacher:

F(X) walks into a bar, and says I'd like a pint of lager and a packet of crisps. Barmaid goes: Sorry love, we dont cater for functions.

:getmecoat
18. (Original post by IainM)
another terrible maths joke courtesy of my maths teacher:

F(X) walks into a bar, and says I'd like a pint of lager and a packet of crisps. Barmaid goes: Sorry love, we dont cater for functions.

Hey, don't knock this joke. I used it at a university admissions interview.
19. I'll have to dig out my sheets of jokes...
Some of these so far are really funny
20. And for the non-mathematicians among us... an old classic.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 789

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