I feel so working class at uni :( Watch

This discussion is closed.
redferry
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#21
Report 6 years ago
#21
(Original post by technoo)
rahs?
Jack Wills, lots of money, posh stereotype?
1
muzz1994
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#22
Report 6 years ago
#22
(Original post by Anonymous)
I started at uni in september and I still feel totally alone.

I come from quite a rough place and I had to work bl**dy hard to get through school, never mind uni, and I feel totally out of place. Its quite a 'rah' place, and even the people who aren't stuck up and are nice are quite priviliged, and I don't really feel like I fit in with any of them.

My flatmates are lovely, and make an effort to invite me to things and get me invloved, and even cheer me up when they can tell I'm down, but I cut myself off a bit because I felt awkward being so different, so they're a lot closer and 'get' each other a lot more.

Because I was so down, of all the societies I joined, I've only really gone to stuff for one of them, and I've made quite a few friends there, but we only see each other once/twice a week as we all do different courses and are in different years so live all over the place.

Worst of alll are the people on my course. Most of the boys went to whichever public school together and won't talk to you anyway, and the girls are *****y, Jack wills clad, ratty haired blonde types called Cordelia and Arabella, who need a slap.

I have nothing in common with these people, I'd be embarassed to show even my housemates where I live, I don't think many people here have even walked past a council estate, let alone lived in one.

Should I just leave and go somewhere less pretentious, or is it my fault? I feel like I've missed the friendship boat, but then I don't really know who I'd want to be friends with. Which of the better unis have a good mix of people? Yah-yahs get very irritating very quickly!


Thanks for reading my rant, I've been bottling it up for quite some time


(Sorry if I sound whiney, I'm incredibly grateful to be at uni, so many of the people I went to school with were never given a chance, and its a kick in the teeth to see for myself that at my uni at least, mummy, daddy and the name of your school count for more than hard graft)

Was eating an apple and nearly choked! Stupid line separation...

On a more serious note, I know what you mean in not feeling you belong, but no matter what people say, you do belong the same as everyone else! Maybe you could join a club/society of something you're interested in? It's a great way to meet new people with similar interests and make friends. All i can say is, please don't feel people are better than you because of their backgrounds.. at the end of the day you made it to university after sitting through countless exams and like you said, you didn't have it easy and that's one reason there to be proud of yourself.
0
Fires
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#23
Report 6 years ago
#23
(Original post by Anonymous)

Worst of alll are the people on my course. Most of the boys went to whichever public school together and won't talk to you anyway, and the girls are *****y, Jack wills clad, ratty haired blonde types called Cordelia and Arabella, who need a slap.

I have nothing in common with these people, I'd be embarassed to show even my housemates where I live, I don't think many people here have even walked past a council estate, let alone lived in one.

Thanks for reading my rant, I've been bottling it up for quite some time
Common problem. I faced exactly the same when I went to Uni. Let me guess - Nottingham? Bristol? Warwick?

Suggestions.

(1) Seek out other people you can hang with. They ARE out there, trust me. They feel **** too. Try socs you think might contain normal people. Northern Soc. Railway Fans Soc. Industry Soc. People who can't stand JW Soc. Somewhere something is happening on your campus that involves people like you. You will feel 100% better being with them regularly.

(2) Grit your teeth and stick it out. You have made it into a very good University. Your family don't deserve you to quit and more importantly you don't. You owe it to yourself to maximise this opportunity, run with it and exploit it. My advice? Look on the university as an opportunity to steal resources from the wealthy and divert them to yourself. By accident, the system has allowed you in to a place normally reserved for upper-middle and upper class kids. Take ruthless advantage. Decide to be like a pirate. Learn everything you can from them and use it. Make friends tactically where you can. Ignore those who ignore you.

(3) The Arabellas and Camelias and Jack and Henrys of this world don't amount to a pile of horse dung on the grand scale of things. They are as irrelevant as the dung beetle's thoughts were to Einstein. They do not control the world and they do not control you. Think big. Whilst they obsess over the next ski trip, the price of a cocktail or Arabella's latest bag, you think about China, about making money, about getting ahead, about how to win every game in town.
11
The Troll Toll
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#24
Report 6 years ago
#24
(Original post by Clip)
3. What's wrong with getting somewhere on the name of your school? That's presumably why you chose your university - so that it's name would carry some weight.
First, that's probably not why most people chose their university. It may be a consideration, but it's not usually that high on the list. Second, even if it were considered, getting somewhere on the name of a place you applied to, wrote a PS for, possibly interviewed and got an offer which you met is completely different from getting somewhere on the name of a place your parents gave £50k a year to.
6
Donald Duck
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#25
Report 6 years ago
#25
Almost everyone's first year of university is their worst, especially if you come from a slightly different background (as did I, coming from a foreign country). Saying girls need a slap probably won't help, but I'd say stick it out, and just make some friends elsewhere.
0
Clip
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#26
Report 6 years ago
#26
(Original post by The Troll Toll)
First, that's probably not why most people chose their university. It may be a consideration, but it's not usually that high on the list. Second, even if it were considered, getting somewhere on the name of a place you applied to, wrote a PS for, possibly interviewed and got an offer which you met is completely different from getting somewhere on the name of a place your parents gave £50k a year to.
Oh wow. Wrote a PS. Had an interview. Herculean effort.
7
Anonymous #3
#27
Report 6 years ago
#27
You say that your flatmates are 'lovely', so it sounds to me like you're the one making this an issue, not them :confused:

In life you're going to have to get along with people you don't particularly like- fact. Like it or not, you're also going to have to interact with people from different backgrounds to you.

If you change universities, you'll still have to interact with rich people in tutorial groups, university halls etc. You're also suggesting that these people didn't have to work as hard as you to get there, which isn't really a fair comment, as you can't really judge this.

I highly doubt that you are the only working-class person in the thousands of students at your uni, nor the only one who has worked hard. I'm not exactly loaded myself, but I don't have a problem with people with names like 'Arabella', though. I mean, why dislike something that a person has no control over? :rolleyes:

In short, have a long hard think about where these insecurities stem from- is it genuinely a whole university full of nasty people, or do you have a perception/ prejudice against the rich?
4
The Troll Toll
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#28
Report 6 years ago
#28
(Original post by Clip)
Oh wow. Wrote a PS. Had an interview. Herculean effort.
I'm not saying it's a Hurculean effort, I'm just saying it's an effort that actually exists, which getting into a private school is not. And to get into a good university, it's actually something that a lot of people can't do. That's why bad universities (and chicken factories) are a thing.
0
wolf-pack
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#29
Report 6 years ago
#29
Don't be ashamed of your background or feel like you have to hide it. Be proud that you managed to get into university without the advantages that most of your fellow students have had!
0
abc:)
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#30
Report 6 years ago
#30
I feel like this too, but I have a housemate who is extremely upper middle class and she feels self conscious about it. I think university is a time when very different people mix and you can feel quite exposed and insecure, you just have to learn to be comfortable about where you come from and not go against any principles you may have as a result of this.
1
Mrkingpenguin
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#31
Report 6 years ago
#31
can anyone explain the durham stereotype (sorry for ignorant question )

+ dont worry man, it doesnt matter what clas you are in
0
politics_student
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#32
Report 6 years ago
#32
It's understandable that you're frustrated about feeling out of place. However, *****y people exist from all walks of life - not just the middle class. You've even said some were nice, but they were "privileged". So what? You're supposed to judge someone as an individual, not their background. You worry that people judge your background and you do the same in return!

Honestly, I doubt most people even care about your social class. What people take issue with is bitterness and those who walk around with a chip on their shoulder. University is about experiencing different people. Don't drop out, you worked hard to get here! Also, you can't base someone's self-worth on whether they lived in a council house or not. Just as you can't control which parents you were born to, neither can they.

As you have done, join societies you like the look of to meet like-minded people. Although I do think you need to lighten up as it's not fair to have these preconceptions.
3
politics_student
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#33
Report 6 years ago
#33
(Original post by redferry)
Jack Wills, lots of money, posh stereotype?
It's a ridiculous stereotype. What's wrong with having money, or being "posh"?

You need to be more open-minded as they didn't choose their background. If they're obnoxious, that doesn't have anything to do with their social class, as rude people exist everywhere.
2
takeadeepbreath
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#34
Report 6 years ago
#34
(Original post by The Troll Toll)
I'm not saying it's a Hurculean effort, I'm just saying it's an effort that actually exists, which getting into a private school is not. And to get into a good university, it's actually something that a lot of people can't do. That's why bad universities (and chicken factories) are a thing.
Actually for my private school you had to take four exams and then they only took 78 of the midlands brightest girls. We also had a bursary system in place for girls who couldn't afford the tuition fees, my friend paid ~500 quid for the term
3
takeadeepbreath
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#35
Report 6 years ago
#35
(Original post by Mrkingpenguin)
can anyone explain the durham stereotype (sorry for ignorant question )

+ dont worry man, it doesnt matter what clas you are in
Certain colleges are fairly 'rah' and you just have to deal with it. However even if some of the students are posh you can't say they got into that uni because of mummy and daddy's money, you do have to have good grades to get into a university like Durham (the general offer is a*aa/aaa) , it's one of the best unis in the uk for many courses
0
KarmaHead
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#36
Report 6 years ago
#36
Be proud

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njG7p6CSbCU
1
QwertyG
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#37
Report 6 years ago
#37
what uni ?
0
redferry
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#38
Report 6 years ago
#38
(Original post by politics_student)
It's a ridiculous stereotype. What's wrong with having money, or being "posh"?

You need to be more open-minded as they didn't choose their background. If they're obnoxious, that doesn't have anything to do with their social class, as rude people exist everywhere.
AHAHA what is wrong with you, when have I ever said anything about having anything against or even believing in the steriotype of 'rahs'?! I think you will notice I used it in inverted commas for exactly that reason. I was only explaining the term.

You are just looking for an argument, you need to get the chip off your shoulder.
2
Anonymous #1
#39
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#39
(Original post by Clip)
Oh wow. Wrote a PS. Had an interview. Herculean effort.
OH HELL NO!

On top of A levels and UCAS I also had to juggle being a carer for my mum, working full time to support my dad who'd been made redundant and running a houshold. I think I survived on four hours sleep and a few snickers a day for about three years. It was exhausting, and even with that, I was one of a few lucky people from my school to make it to uni. (I'm at Exeter, btw) Not having money has huge consequences in all areas of your life that make some of the most basic things a struggle (ever had to risk gone off food or pick pennies off the street to get together enough money to feed your family?)

Its not a sob story and I don't want anyone to pity me, just don't be ignorant. I probably am predjudiced against snobs, but why shouldn't I be? This is controversial, but in my experiences with people that fit the Rah stereotype, they've had just as many preconceptions about the working classes, and have been incredibly ignorant. Although, I take on board that I can't judge people just for being priviledged, and I will make a concerted effort not to

Labour soc is definitely something to look in to, and I'll check out the other suggestions... maybe wear a trackie and chains to lectures and threaten to cut the really annoying people to cheer me up (I joke, I joke.)
9
MetropolisBoy
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#40
Report 6 years ago
#40
which uni is this OP?
0
X
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Why wouldn't you turn to teachers if you were being bullied?

They might tell my parents (16)
6.81%
They might tell the bully (25)
10.64%
I don't think they'd understand (39)
16.6%
It might lead to more bullying (84)
35.74%
There's nothing they could do (71)
30.21%

Watched Threads

View All