Have you ever walked away from a break up and behaved with no dignity whatsoever Watch

Beckham's Dildo
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#21
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#21
(Original post by millie-rose)
Did you even read what I originally wrote. I was giving the poster advice on how I got over my ex because I realised the deep depression you feel afterwards is completely emotional and often not logical. This lead me to realise how my problems are so small in comparison to other people's.

I in no way have suggested that if someone is happy you should stop them because there are other people who are unhappy. You've managed to spin that one up yourself. Although, I do credit you for spinning a debate out of nothing- perhaps you should go into politics.

I wasn't looking for a debate with someone who is purely looking to criticise without helping the actual poster, and who fails to understand what I actually said originally.
Get over yourself, all I said was that hungry children across the world isn't relevant to being broken-hearted (which it isn't), you're the one getting your granny panties in a twist.
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Anonymous #1
#22
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millie-rose
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Beckham's Dildo)
Get over yourself, all I said was that hungry children across the world isn't relevant to being broken-hearted (which it isn't), you're the one getting your granny panties in a twist.
Excellent and intelligent reply, now find something else to do that criticise those who are trying to help others. Goodbye
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Anonymous #1
#24
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#24
(Original post by Millie228)
To be honest, no. I have behaved irrationally while dating someone, i.e. overreacted and being difficult. But when it's over it's over, and I have too much pride to be harassing a man over text or acting desperate. Secondly, the only way to get over it is to cut them off completely.

You’ll never get closure. How often did you ask the reason why? Usually, he didn’t know the reason why, and if he did the chances of his telling you the truth, e.g. “I don’t like the sound of your breathing,” were slim.
Bad stuff happens, and we don’t know why. It’s true in relationships. If he says he’s going back to his ex, we ask why. When he says it’s because she’s hotter, we ask why. Because I like blonde hair. Why? Because my first crush had blonde hair. Why? And so it goes, on and on forever. No one really knows why. Embrace the finality and accept the uncertainty.

The only thing you can do which will make a positive difference is to cut him off. Right now. You're not behaving like a woman who respects herself.
Read this http://www.therulesrevisited.com/201...rejection.html
Yes but that's assuming someone dumps you and gives you a reason. Imagine someone just said it's over, or scrap that, just disappeared off the radar when you were under the impression everything was fine, it's enough to make even the sanest girl lose her mind. thanks for the link btw, people's responses are really helping me..
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Blue Rose
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#25
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#25
Yep. Sounds like me in my first break up. Anyway my ex forgot about it and we are friends now I'm sure a lot of people act like that when they are young/in their first or one of their first relationships. If you're really into the person or into the relationship, it's hard to let go and accept that it's over or understand why it's ended but not to worry, everything is for a reason. I promise you one day you'll TOTALLY understand why it happened and feel okay about it I never thought I'd ever get over my ex but eventually I realised how wrong we were for each other and I had rose-tinted glasses on and couldn't see the relationship for what it really was. Sometimes it's only time that will allow you to see this.

I totally get what you mean about closure too. I was dumped very suddenly with no real explanation after my ex had said they couldn't be happier, not being given a reason hurts the most and it's impossible to just turn your emotions off in an instant but you just have to give yourself space from your ex and time to heal. As tempting as it is break the cycle of contacting him to find out if it's really the end, if he will give you another chance etc. Once you haven't spoken for a while it will slowly become easier to move on. And there comes a point where you realise your own value and that you don't need to beg anyone to be with you because someone else will see your value one day and do anything to keep you not get rid of you.
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Millie228
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#26
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#26
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes but that's assuming someone dumps you and gives you a reason. Imagine someone just said it's over, or scrap that, just disappeared off the radar when you were under the impression everything was fine, it's enough to make even the sanest girl lose her mind. thanks for the link btw, people's responses are really helping me..
No, it's not. I don't think you read my post. I was not assuming someone gives you a reason. I was assuming they don't. The procedure to get over it is still the same.
It doesn't matter if you ask them why or not. You still need to cut them off. In the end, the only conclusion that matters is that he doesn't want to be with you. If he gave you a reason and you tried to change according to that, he still wouldn't take you back.
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WelshBluebird
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#27
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#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes but that's assuming someone dumps you and gives you a reason. Imagine someone just said it's over, or scrap that, just disappeared off the radar when you were under the impression everything was fine, it's enough to make even the sanest girl lose her mind. thanks for the link btw, people's responses are really helping me..
Just a quick point, its not just girls who find that difficult.
My ex broke up with my 4 months ago without giving a reason, while I thought everything was fine, and it was bloody difficult, and I did make a bit of a fool of myself . So yeah, its not just limited to girls.
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silverbolt
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#28
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am losing my mind. He dumped me and won't tell me the reason. I keep texting him, apologising, begging for forgiveness, trying to do little things for him to make him change his mind..........the list goes on. I am embarrassed that I have resorted to this behaviour as I thought I was better than that. I don't know what has come over me. I have been behaving like this for months even though he has quite clearly moved on. I think it is because I need the closure of a reason/explanation. Really regret not playing it cool, ignoring him back and walking away? How have you guys dealth with breakups?
oh gods yes - my one gf abused me emotionally and cheated on me and then when i found out she spent 6 hours throwing every vulnerability i had ever trusted her with back in my face - at the end of it i was sobbing in her lap telling how sorry i was for doing all those horrible things to her - she was THAT good at messing with peoples heads, she made an art form out of it.
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Stevo112
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#29
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#29
Yea i've been a **** towards one of my first ex's about 6/7 years ago now.


The most recent girl was a bit murky. She told me she loved me then did a complete u-turn. I was playing her cool as well and put in a lot of effort towards getting her interested and feeling happy. I do love that girl. I did rant at her when she rejected me but it was justified. I think it was about 3 rants in a month (think how hard it is being told by a girl that she loves you and wants to spend her life with you, then inviting her to your house only for her to do a complete u-turn on the second night and then having to put up with her for a month whilst she stays in your house and ignores you), then I kicked her out of my house and then no contact in a month now (she has me on fb and has my mobile number and my last message was telling her that I am happy to remain friends seeing as we aren't going to meet up again).


But you know, we all have this ****. My only worry is whether I behave with dignity with a breakup now because at the end of the day you just realise that there are plenty more people out there and you really don't want to carry such negative patterns into new relationships. You also have to stand up for what you believe in but you have to know what you believe in first... Sounds like you might not be entirely sure what you want from life atm. Breakups, in any form, really do wound people though. The trick is to realize that you can get the same thing from other people and often it is 1000x better.
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Anonymous #1
#30
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#30
(Original post by WelshBluebird)
Just a quick point, its not just girls who find that difficult.
My ex broke up with my 4 months ago without giving a reason, while I thought everything was fine, and it was bloody difficult, and I did make a bit of a fool of myself . So yeah, its not just limited to girls.
thank you. It hurts doesn't it..
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Anonymous #1
#31
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#31
(Original post by silverbolt)
oh gods yes - my one gf abused me emotionally and cheated on me and then when i found out she spent 6 hours throwing every vulnerability i had ever trusted her with back in my face - at the end of it i was sobbing in her lap telling how sorry i was for doing all those horrible things to her - she was THAT good at messing with peoples heads, she made an art form out of it.
how are you feeling now? that sounds awful
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Anonymous #1
#32
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#32
(Original post by Stevo112)
Yea i've been a **** towards one of my first ex's about 6/7 years ago now.


The most recent girl was a bit murky. She told me she loved me then did a complete u-turn. I was playing her cool as well and put in a lot of effort towards getting her interested and feeling happy. I do love that girl. I did rant at her when she rejected me but it was justified. I think it was about 3 rants in a month (think how hard it is being told by a girl that she loves you and wants to spend her life with you, then inviting her to your house only for her to do a complete u-turn on the second night and then having to put up with her for a month whilst she stays in your house and ignores you), then I kicked her out of my house and then no contact in a month now (she has me on fb and has my mobile number and my last message was telling her that I am happy to remain friends seeing as we aren't going to meet up again).


But you know, we all have this ****. My only worry is whether I behave with dignity with a breakup now because at the end of the day you just realise that there are plenty more people out there and you really don't want to carry such negative patterns into new relationships. You also have to stand up for what you believe in but you have to know what you believe in first... Sounds like you might not be entirely sure what you want from life atm. Breakups, in any form, really do wound people though. The trick is to realize that you can get the same thing from other people and often it is 1000x better.
Thank you
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silverbolt
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#33
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#33
(Original post by Anonymous)
how are you feeling now? that sounds awful
oh im fine now this was nearly ten years ago

admittedly though i spent about six months afterwards in a bottle
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