Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

I have a good personality but I will get nowhere because of my looks

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Reply 20

Anonymous #1

I guess after my breakup, I've become more aware of my flaws.

Reply 21

LondonLad94

Jay-Z managed to Beyonce . I don't need to say anything more . Keep your head up dude !

Reply 22

Bulbasaur

Wow, judging by this thread TSR has really gone downhill as of late.

OP: I don't see the problem. You sound like a great guy and you've got an ex, so why can't it happen again?

Reply 23

Aries1992

Confidence is more important in my opinion. Yes, looks play a part in a relationship starting maybe but personality is what keeps it going (or not).

However, confident men come across as more attractive to me regardless of looks.

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 24

importunate

Original post by McFlury

why do people always bring it back to this "hard man" bs. If I said it to your face what would you do hey? We are not cavemen, people do not fight out any differences they have hand to hand, if you can't take an argument, don't have a go at other people.

In all honestly I'd probably laugh at you and call you a muppet. I don't speak to people on the internet in a way I wouldn't to their face. It's a simple matter of respect.

Anyway back to what the op was talking about, mate you should probably work on your looks if you are a bit insecure. I'm the other way around and am over confident. However if you started going to the gym, going to tanning beds, moisturising... All this stuff I do and it works well for me.

Clothes are also really important. The truth is you are a package and you are trying to sell yourself. Look at what you consider "attractive people, who you want to be like" are wearing, and immitate it. I'm not saying don't be yourself but you have to learn, and the easiest way of doing that is to copy to begin with.

Reply 25

importunate

Original post by JB20

Thanks for proving my point. You're going on like she owe's you something because you bought dinner and drinks..

This thread is not about me. I might actually start one, but thats another thing all together.

However back to your point. Absolutely not. I consider myself a gentleman, and wouldn't dream of letting a girl pay for drinks. Even when they try and force the issue. I am honored if a girl is willing to go for a drink with me, and am happy to pay for drinks, meals and activities as I think that is a gentlemanly thing to do.

If that makes me a dick in your eyes, then that's fine.

Reply 26

elitemodella

Looks arent everything but they are very important, no one can deny that. But if there's something u really hate, save up for some cosmetic surgery to change it because you cant wish for confidence. You'll only (okay maybe not only) get it once you like what you see in the mirror.

Reply 27

username47781

Can you please stop the bickering and fighting, take it elsewhere, thanks.

Reply 28

therisenmitten

Correction: you will get nowhere because of your low self-esteem.

Girls are attracted much more by confidence than looks. I've fancied loads of people where if I'd never spoken to them before I would have labelled them as 'unattractive'.
Keep your head high because people (especially girls) can sense when you're not confident about yourself.

Also most people aren't as ugly as they think they are so I doubt you are :wink:

Reply 29

therisenmitten

Original post by importunate

going to tanning beds

Please don't do this... you will look like gordon ramsey by the time you're 26. Not to mention skin cancer.

Reply 30

Michaelj

The reason other people are in a relationship... Average people.. Is because they don't whine on an internet forum about how nice they are but can't score, they go out and do something.

Reply 31

Jimbo1234

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 19, and I feel like I'm a good person. I have good morals and ethics, and I feel like I have a good personality. I won't go into why, because I don't want to sound like I'm boasting, but basically I'm a good guy(could I have said good more in that paragraph?)

But I feel I won't get anywhere because of my looks. When getting into a relationship(or anything more casual), looks are always the first thing that you see in a person. It's natural, you see them before they speak. And I'd rate myself below average in looks.

So although I have a good personality(my ex always said I was inspirational - wow), I won't be given a chance due to my looks. I don't know if this changes in later life, but honestly, a lot of people my age seem very judgmental.
Obviously some don't. There's probably a lot of attractive(by general standards) people out there who actually feel the same way. And who knows, maybe I'll meet a very attractive girl(by my standards of course) and looks won't matter and everything will be great. But I'm not counting on that.

I don't really care about looks. I'd rather be called ugly than dumb. But it just sucks that looks are so f*cking important.

Is it normal to feel like this? And does it ever actually change? Or is it actually not true at all?

It really isn't true.
I've known good looking guys have have gotten no where due to either personality, or girls running away due to their good looks.
And I've known guys who are average who have been utter players. How do they do this? Confidence. That simple. They are not buff or anything, just seriously confident.

Reply 32

cbrand493

Original post by Jimbo1234

I second the confidence side. Put it like this...you've got it a million times easier than I do. I'm waiting out for Taylor Swift....

Reply 33

Lucia.

Original post by Anonymous

I guess after my breakup, I've become more aware of my flaws.

Bingo.

I think you are feeling down at the moment, and this is why you are critiquing yourself too much now. I wouldn't date if I were you, until I felt better about myself. Do whatever you feel it takes to start feeling good about yourself again.

Reply 34

Anonymous #1

I was with my ex for two years, I guess I just never had to think about other people in that time, but now I do and I guess I'm just not good at this attraction thing :P

Reply 35

canadamoose

Original post by limetang

Sorry, but that's bull****. There are PLENTY bellow average looking - ugly people out there in relationships. So the idea that you will get nowhere is demonstrably false.

Plus. You're almost certainly nowhere near as bad looking as you think you are.

Limetang is right, there are some pretty ugly people in relationships. Why? Because not everybody is shallow, and the majority of people actually understand that personality is primarily important, and after they like your personality, you become more physically attractive.

If all else fails, wear a bag on your head.

Reply 36

Danz123

Original post by kimprovising

The fact that you even have an ex-girlfriend just goes to show how wrong you are.

Looks do play a part yes, for some a bigger part than others. But if all average/"ugly" people got nowhere in life... a lot of us wouldn't be here :wink: