Ex called me a d*ck. What did I do?

Talking with your ex about who has the nicest bum? Seems like you were screwed from the start of the conversation tbh. There was no right answer there.

This.



Or, rather, he forgot (or tragically, never knew, until now) that the majority of females are inherently illogical.


OP: You offended her by heinously suggesting that her bum was not the best bum ever created. In future, you must remember to elevate said bum to unreasonable levels. Tell her that her bum is otherworldly, and that it would be an insult to the very nature of bums to even lower it to the human level of mere "competition". Her bum is transcendent, a masterpiece, far beyond the judgement of mere mortals.

Then, you can put your penis in it.

And win.

should have called her slag. Not sure how that helps though.

Seriously, what did I do wrong?

She rang me today about some tickets I made her for some university thing, we spoke on the phone fine. Then she text me about this award thing our university is doing and she told me who had been voted in as having the 'best bum'. Just a bit of a fun thing our uni is doing, but she told me who had been voted. I laughed because they were poor choices, and said there were better bums. She said "yeah like mine". I said that it was alright, and she replied "only alright!", I then replied "bit more than alright". She asked me who she should put in as winning the categories. I said to put herself in for best bum, and me as having the best dance moves. She replied with no. So then I said it was a joke, and said to put this other girl in as she goes the gym and works on her bum. It was all a joke, but she just replied "you're a dick". I said why, and she said "you just are, night". So I replied "I was messing I said you first anyway. Last day of uni tomorrow anyway, hooray. Night". Tried to keep it light hearted, but what did I do?

This.



Or, rather, he forgot (or tragically, never knew, until now) that the majority of females are inherently illogical.

Illogical to men. My thought processes makes perfectly logical sense to me, as did OP's girlfriend's!

Logic is not subjective. You clearly don't even know what it is! Typical womenfolk.

I was merely trying to keep things lighthearted