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    (Original post by shonaT)
    Do you actually believe that would stop rape? Sorry to disillusion you but it won't.

    I was raped in my own home by a male relative. I was modestly dressed and am always modestly dressed. I have never worn a miniskirt or low cut top. Perhaps I brought it on myself by going to Uni then work. I do apologise for my stupidity:rolleyes:
    I am sorry to hear about what you have gone through, but the user is not stating that doing what he has said will allow all rape cases to be avoided, just as driving safely , not going out in dangerous areas or being around gang members and in gang-fare avoids all murders. His advice certainly and intuitively will help decrease the chances of a rape though.
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    Yes, in an ideal world, I wouldn’t have to take steps to keep myself safe. In an ideal world I wouldn’t have to get dressed to go out and then think ‘right, am I going to get groped?’ (It’s my bum)

    But we don’t live in an ideal world.

    And you know what, I’m going to do what I can to try and reduce the risks to myself. Of mugging and groping and so on as well as complete rape - I acknowledge that if someone really wants to rape there’s not much I can do to stop that in the way I dress or behave, but I can make myself look like less of a target for muggings and make my bum look less gropeable… that’s just sensible, and a way to deal with our non-ideal world… isn’t it?
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    (Original post by RibenaRockstar)
    Yes, in an ideal world, I wouldn’t have to take steps to keep myself safe. In an ideal world I wouldn’t have to get dressed to go out and then think ‘right, am I going to get groped?’ (It’s my bum)

    But we don’t live in an ideal world.

    And you know what, I’m going to do what I can to try and reduce the risks to myself. Of mugging and groping and so on as well as complete rape - I acknowledge that if someone really wants to rape there’s not much I can do to stop that in the way I dress or behave, but I can make myself look like less of a target for muggings and make my bum look less gropeable… that’s just sensible, and a way to deal with our non-ideal world… isn’t it?
    What an intelligent response.
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    80 % OF RAPE VICTIMS KNOW THE PERSON WHO ATTACKS THEM.

    I doubt that has anything to with dress sense.
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    (Original post by bennies4life)
    The only real solutions as far I can see are:

    - Curfews on the movement of young people after 8pm. Young women should ideally not be roaming the streets without the presence of a male relative.

    - An alcohol free society

    - Modest clothing. No visible flesh

    - Encourage young women to remain at home rather than in the workplace or college/uni
    I agree more or less with all of them apart from this one. That takes it way too far.
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    (Original post by rainbowbex)
    Shall we all just step back for a minute and remember that it's not just women who get raped. Men get raped too.

    People are often selling idea's that are meant to prevent rape. The real message should be to society not to rape, for example people should be told to be careful to gain clear consent. Like we tell people don't steal or you could get prosecuted. We are in a society that blames the victim not the person who is at fault the person who does the action.

    Of course there are things people can do to avoid putting themselves in situations where rape is (statistically) more likely to occur as well as challenging the reasons why those situations carry increased risk.
    This is such rubbish!

    Men know not to rape. You know who doesn't know not to rape? Rapists. Funnily enough, people do know not to rape, as much as they know not to steal, shocking I know :cool:

    We don't blame the victim, a sad minority do.
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    (Original post by MENDACIUM)
    What an intelligent response.
    Was C&Ped off my tumblr, hence why it didn't make complete sense as a response to the OP

    I got groped at an SU club night a while ago, and when I griped about it, one of my (guy) mates said 'you really don't get clubbing, do you...?'

    But that's not the point - I SHOULD be able to go out without getting my bum groped.

    But then again, it's not an ideal world xD
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    (Original post by miser)
    No they're not. They can be quite stable - they have a poor understanding of what 'rape' is, or think that it isn't a big deal or that the woman is 'asking for it' (:rolleyes:). Lots of quite normal people are capable of rape if for whatever reason they think their actions are acceptable.
    People with primitive views are unlikely to change them.
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    (Original post by Interactiveapple)
    Please educate yourself on rape. It has recently come to my attention that some folks are having trouble when it comes to learning how not to rape, so I thought I would put together a little 101 for you in the interest of public service.
    I know there's some confusion about what rape actually is; in the media, it's depicted as a stranger jumping out from behind a bush, wearing a ski mask, but most rapists are actually known to their victims, and may in fact be intimate with them. Rape is about unwanted sexual activity, period, and it doesn't have to involve strangers or force.
    Rape is often characterized by confusion, pushing the target into something she doesn't want to do. Rape happens when someone doesn't say yes; or says no, but isn't listened to. It happens when someone isn't in a fit state to consent. It happens when someone who's willing to be pushy about sex carries that attitude to the logical conclusion. Rape is not neat and tidy, sometimes. It often lies between the lines.
    Did a partner not say yes, or indicate consent in some other, clear way? Is a partner clearly uneasy and uncomfortable? Have you talked beforehand about what you both want and expect?
    Are you, perhaps, confused on the finer points of when people are asking for it? (Hint: The answer to this question is "never.")
    Hopefully this list will serve as a helpful guide of just some of the many situations in which it is not okay to rape people.
    1. A short skirt (and/or heels) is not an invitation to rape.
    2. Intoxication is not an invitation to rape.
    3. Being unable to say no is not an invitation to rape.
    4. Being a Native American woman is not an invitation to rape.


    5. Being a member of the armed services is not an invitation to rape.
    6. Going to a nightclub is not an invitation to rape.
    7. Working for a military contractor is not an invitation to rape.
    8. Being a student is not an invitation to rape.
    9. Being married is not an invitation to rape.
    10. Being a farmworker is not an invitation to rape.
    11. Being an immigrant is not an invitation to rape.
    12. Seeking medical treatment is not an invitation to rape.
    13. Being a child is not an invitation to rape.


    14. Going to college is not an invitation to rape.
    15. Having a promiscuous sexual history is not an invitation to rape.
    16. Being out at night is not an invitation to rape.
    17. Wearing tight pants is not an invitation to rape.
    18. You being drunk and/or high is not an invitation to rape.
    19. Not carrying a gun or other weapon is not an invitation to rape.
    20. Being transgender is not an invitation to rape.
    21. Being a Black woman is not an invitation to rape.
    22. Being a sex worker is not an invitation to rape.
    23. Hitchhiking is not an invitation to rape.
    24. Being in immigration detention is not an invitation to rape.
    25. Being an aboriginal or indigenous woman is not an invitation to rape.
    26. Being disabled is not an invitation to rape.
    27. Being incarcerated is not an invitation to rape.
    28. Having tattoos is not an invitation to rape.
    29. Meeting online is not an invitation to rape.
    30. Being under the influence of drugs is not an invitation to rape.
    31. Enjoying BDSM and kink is not an invitation to rape.
    Nothing, ever, is an invitation to rape.
    :rolleyes: yeah because that's the idea of the "slut walk",:facepalm: it's not about teaching people not to rape, but not to judge the people getting raped(which despite all the flaws in feminism I aggree). Rapists are not "normal" and quite a few rapists are also muggers too, are muggers normal men? If you think that normal boys are rapists, then your either stupid, or trying to spread ridiculously sexist propaganda about men.:unimpressed: either case you need to understand that normal men know that yes means yes, and no means no, we aren't just these abhorrent sex pestering dogs.

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    (Original post by TheBritishArmy)
    People with primitive views are unlikely to change them.
    Maybe, maybe not - but if they know that they will be judged, they will be less likely to act in accordance with them. Social conformity is a very powerful control.
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    (Original post by bennies4life)
    The only real solutions as far I can see are:

    - Curfews on the movement of young people after 8pm. Young women should ideally not be roaming the streets without the presence of a male relative.

    - An alcohol free society

    - Modest clothing. No visible flesh

    - Encourage young women to remain at home rather than in the workplace or college/uni
    Sounds like the Middle East
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    (Original post by MENDACIUM)
    I agree more or less with all of them apart from this one. That takes it way too far.
    This is taking the Mick out of Saudi Arabia.

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    (Original post by MENDACIUM)
    I am sorry to hear about what you have gone through, but the user is not stating that doing what he has said will allow all rape cases to be avoided, just as driving safely , not going out in dangerous areas or being around gang members and in gang-fare avoids all murders. His advice certainly and intuitively will help decrease the chances of a rape though.

    I take particular issue with the modest dress advice. It relies on the assumption that rape is all about the sex whereas it is usually about exerting power over another person. It is also offensive to men, implying they cannot control their sexual urges. It also gives a false sense of security letting young women believe they are protected by modest dress when they are not.

    The male relative advice is ridiculous in the sense that a large proportion of rapes are carried out by family or close friends.

    The male relative advice as well as the advice not to go to University/work is ridiculous also in the sense it restricts the movement of women and really just awards power to rapists, the power of fear.
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    (Original post by shonaT)
    I take particular issue with the modest dress advice. It relies on the assumption that rape is all about the sex whereas it is usually about exerting power over another person. It is also offensive to men, implying they cannot control their sexual urges. It also gives a false sense of security letting young women believe they are protected by modest dress when they are not.

    The male relative advice is ridiculous in the sense that a large proportion of rapes are carried out by family or close friends.

    The male relative advice as well as the advice not to go to University/work is ridiculous also in the sense it restricts the movement of women and really just awards power to rapists, the power of fear.
    I didn't read the users full post, I only read the modest dressing/less alcohol part. I agree with the last point you made though. It's ridiculous to tell women not to go out into the real world, learn, have great careers. But the issue here is that precautions must be taken - i.e dressing modestly. Furthermore, it's not just about dressing modestly and not consuming alcohol, it is also about not putting yourself in compromising situations. These partners women have that rape them - where did they get them from? Do a lot of rapes happen in clubs, under the influence of alcohol? What about the recent news on the girl who was raped by two teenagers while being severely intoxicated?
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    You are missing my point Mendacium, modest clothing provides no protection whatsoever.

    As for over consumption of alcohol, obviously I will advise my daughters against overconsumption as it helps reduce the chance of falls, liver damage etc.
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    If I was taking a wad of money to the bank I'd recognise that I'm a target for thieves and take precautions, i.e. hide the money, perhaps avoid shifty-looking people.

    In the same way...

    If I was an attractive girl going out at night I would acknowledge the risk of a sexual attack and take precautions, i.e. sticking with a group, not getting absolutely smashed and not acting provocatively.

    Suggesting that girls take care isn't an offensive or sexist way of shifting the blame to them. It's the acknowledgement of an obvious risk and an attempt to avoid it.
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    Or women can give men safety tips.

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    (Original post by bennies4life)
    The only real solutions as far I can see are:

    - Curfews on the movement of young people after 8pm. Young women should ideally not be roaming the streets without the presence of a male relative.

    - An alcohol free society

    - Modest clothing. No visible flesh

    - Encourage young women to remain at home rather than in the workplace or college/uni
    1. Young women can be and are raped by male relatives...

    2. People can be and are raped for reasons irrelevant to alcohol consumption

    3. Multiple studies have shown that rape is often more about power than clothing choice. I'm sure we're all well educated on the non existence of rape in strict Muslim countries and how much flesh prison jumpsuits show

    4. Most rapes are by people the victim knows. Staying at home could even make it worse for them

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    (Original post by Sheldor)
    1. Young women can be and are raped by male relatives...

    2. People can be and are raped for reasons irrelevant to alcohol consumption

    3. Multiple studies have shown that rape is often more about power than clothing choice. I'm sure we're all well educated on the non existence of rape in strict Muslim countries and how much flesh prison jumpsuits show

    4. Most rapes are by people the victim knows. Staying at home could even make it worse for them

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    Thank you Sheldor exactly what I have been trying to say.
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    Or women can give men safety tips.

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    Seriously?:hmpf: How many times has this got to be said rapists aren't normal men, the same way someone who goes around mugging and stabbing people isn't normal, I don't know exactly what you're trying to say about men in general :mad:but I find it extremely misandric, instead of telling men not to rape, how about telling men to look out for a sexual abuser? And not to judge victims by their clothes? All this stuff being said is going to do is piss off men, we aren't these stupid sex pests that society stereotypes us to be.

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