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I shouted aggressively at my girlfriend Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for all your comments, and it is clear there is quite a difference of opinion regarding the whole thing.

    You're right that I should have kept my phone on - it was just I was in a car with 4 people and didn't really want to have a conversation with my girlfriend with them all available to listen. Is that so bad?

    My girlfriend is slightly needy, and I completely understand that about her. It is something she has and I don't hold it against her. It's just sometimes when I'm out she expects me to call all the time and she can't relax when I'm with my friends. That's why I snapped on this occasion because it was my first day and she still needed this regular contact.

    I love my girlfriend in spite of this. We have made up and are planning to move in together. Everything is good. Hopefully the calls will gradually decrease when we move in.
    If you are with your mates and don't want to speak to her on the phone, you can always text her.
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    Naturally one should try to avoid shouting at anyone, and especially those one cares about, and it would have been much better form to have spoken to her prior to her flight, but in your defence she does sound like a child. If it were me, once I'd calmed down I'd talk things through with her and see if we can't strike a balance..
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    I don't understand why she got upset that you couldn't talk at lunch time. It was your first day you were meeting new people, and why do you need to phone at lunch time anyway.

    but the second call, you told her you would and then went against it. She was also going away somewhere on a plane and it was to say goodbye. of course this is going to go down badly.
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    She has a right to be pissed at you for not calling her 5. I'm sure your new work friends would've understood you calling your girlfriend for 5 minutes to say goodbye before she gets on to a plane.
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    Without sounding harsh OP she sounds quite sensitive, you probably need to draw a line as to how angry you get with her (I'm like this myself due to bad treatment from a lot of the guys I used to know). Be assertive without being aggressive?
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    I agree that you shouldn't need to be in touch with her all the time, but if you do promise to phone her/accept a call, then you should keep your promise (regardless of who it's from). At least, if you were very busy, you should have sent her a text to let her know.
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    Dude you could have texted her that you can't pick up, turning your phone off was a **** move. Plus taking a phone call for 2 minutes to say goodbye to your girlfriend who's getting on a flight won't meant all your new friends will hate you are you ****ing serious.

    You're lucky she even called you at all, plus then you shouted at her. You've blown it prettyyyyyy bad. Well done
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    I have mixed thoughts on this.

    Firstly, you should have given her a quick call at 5 before her flight, partly because you had said you would call back, partly because I know some people place a lot of importance of calling a loved one before they get on a plane. At the very least you could have text her explaining and wishing her a safe journey. Your new colleagues wouldn't have thought anything of it, I'm sure they use their phones around people.

    However, I do think there is an issue about the amount of contact your girlfriend expects throughout the day. She should have been understanding that you wanted to chat with new colleagues on your first day as it is important to get to know the people you are working with. It sounds as if she is overly sensitive and expects an unrealistic amount of contact with you throughout the day. I would sit down with her and have a chat about it, tell her you love spending time with her but don't think it's necessary to have multiple phone/text conversations through the day and that you prefer to catch up in person, or arrange a specific time to call each other every day, that is convenient for the both of you. I think you need to strike a balance rather than the relationship being too much on her terms, or too much on yours.
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    Tricky one. You both seem to be a little selfish (not that this is a bad thing) and you've clashed.

    You were selfish by putting people you don't know before you're gf and letting her travel without saying bye properly. However it was a big day for you so it's totally understandable.

    She was selfish by not giving you space. Being childish by claiming you don't care about her because you didn't speak at lunch is not how to make a relationship work! But then again she was flying somewhere and may have felt alone.

    Basically. She needed you on a day you needed space. There was bound to be a clash. It's not your fault and it's not hers. Resolve it by saying sorry. She should apologise to. Life's too short. And I'm sorry but her getting scared because you shouted it pathetic. You can't wind a man up and then cry because he shouted! But us women are a pain in the arse and so are you men!


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    Why would you switch off your phone? That's even more childish.

    Call her and apologize.
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    She'll live.
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    Well the stupid response 'well obvs you don't care about me anymore' would get me ticked off too. Although you were dickish on your part there's probably more underlying reasons, does she do this a lot and want to spend a lot of time with you.
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    (Original post by Rosaknows)
    Stress of work? Wasn't it your first day?
    The first day at work is stressful. Meeting new people, trying to fit in, worrying about doing something stupid etc. The last thing you need is a clingy girlfriend pestering you.
 
 
 
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