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    My first time didn't hurt that much (less than stubbing your toe) and I didn't bleed. Without being graphic, I think the lack of blood is because I bled when we did other stuff earlier in the relationship. It was with my boyfriend, I was 19 and we were both virgins.
    • #7
    #7

    I was 17 and not in a relationship with the guy.

    It hurt slightly, but nothing to worry about. It basically just take him a thrust to get through it, and there is no pain after that. Of course it was all 'new' and you can't expect first time sex to be amazing. I liked it, but I was not relaxed and experienced enough to enjoy receiving oral and all that.

    I had had drinks earlier in the evening, but I was pretty sobered up at the time. It was a nice experience altogether. He was 25, really gorgeous and it was at his house in the South of Italy. So the entire scene and situation made it an unforgettable experience. I haven't spoken to him since, but I wouldn't want to either - I am fine with just the memory.
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    My first time, it hurt, nothing unbearable but it did hurt! Also ached for a day or two later because it was totally new to me! I would suggest losing it to someone you are very comfortable with not because its special or whatever but just because it will be awkward / uncomfy and if its with someone you trust it will hopefully be easier to relax, therefore a better experience.
    Hope this helps!!

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    My first time was when I was 16, sober, in a relationship and absolutely rubbish

    Didn't hurt. Hurts me more now than when I started having sex.


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    My first time was with my first proper boyfriend... We'd been together for about a year before we first lost our virginity to eachother. I have to say our first time wasn't particularly painful - it was just kind of awkward, like it took a few attempts. It wasn't the most romantic/perfect experience from what I can remember, but I am glad I lost it to someone I cared about (at the time)

    All, I can say to you is, whilst you might feel ready to lose it, don't get desperate to because everyone else around you is... wait for that right person, someone you care about and cares about you.
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    It was a little awkward, although we knew each other well. Kind of like "Huh? What am I doing?"
    It did hurt but the wanting to do it and the fact it felt 'right' kept me going through that.
    We were both virgins and now married . I don't think I bled but I am not sure because I wasn't staring at our private parts that much tbh .
    • #8
    #8

    My first time was with my boyfriend when we were both 16. We'd done everything but actual sex and we'd talked about it a bit and decided it was the right time. I guess that makes it sound kind of cold and planned out but it was better that way, we were both comfortable.

    The act itself wasn't this amazing thing everyone makes it out to be. It didn't hurt for me at all and I didn't bleed (I had gotten that out of the way beforehand) but it was just awkward, neither of us knew what we were doing and it didn't feel wonderful for me because I wasn't used to the feeling of it at all. We're still together 3 years later and it has gotten sooo much better since then, and now we just laugh about how awkward it was. Just don't judge everything about sex on your very first time is all I can say.
    • #9
    #9

    My first time didn't hurt at all and I didn't bleed either. It wasn't mind-blowing but that's a given, it was a nice, enjoyable experience though and I don't regret it one bit as I waited for the right time. I felt entirely comfortable (even if I didn't really know what to do) and I felt quite relaxed about it (as well as prepared) which helped.
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    Wow. After looking at this thread, I would not want to give my future wife any of these types of problems. I never knew it hurts for women :/
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    wasn't an "awkward" atmosphere as it was with my boyfriend but "awkward" as in a bit clumsy it was pretty painful but it wasn't unbearable and i didn't bleed.
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    it hurts ... not having a baby hurt ... but hurt

    18 and had been with him since i was 14

    we split when i was 20
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    (Original post by TenOfThem)
    it hurts ... not having a baby hurt ... but hurt

    18 and had been with him since i was 14

    we split when i was 20

    Ok confession time - I'm a 33 year old male - no longer a student but hey I used to be student and for some reason this forum keeps coming up when I google stuff. Just about to join OU as well so I guess I qualify. I will lay bare some life experience for you girls/boys, you will thank me one day honest.

    I read some of your responses mainly because of nostalgia - takes me back to my first time which I remember well.

    Couple of things to clear up for the males :

    1. We were probably virgins too and had no idea what we were doing.
    2. Without sounding crude, a virgin girl is tight and to a man will make you <ahem> reasonably quickly - especially in your quickfire teens.
    3. Nerves play a massive part on both sides.
    4. Internet porn (ie. massive boobs, massive c*cks, perfect bodies, 2 hour edited sessions) I think has amplified all of these problems in the last decade. This is not real .. stop treating it as real.
    5. Women need reassurance, loads of kissing, tenderness, kindness, foreplay and more foreplay. This is your job - ignore it at your peril.

    Couple of things to clear up for the females:

    1. Your first time may hurt - this is mainly due to first time nerves and the often uncomfortable settings - ie. While your parents are out, your friends house etc.
    2. You're man will be expecting a porn star performance because they've seen it on pr0nhub and thats how it is done. Ladies - this is not how it is done at all. You do what you are comfortable doing and if he isn't satisfied he can walk. And vica-versa.
    3. Men need some level of dirty talk .. one single filthy comment and grab of his testicles and you are ready to go. They need to think they have control of you and are making you bend to their will. Take of this and men will be putty in your hand.


    Golden rule - Always be safe.
    Golden rule #2 - Alcohol is not an excuse - Always be safe.
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    (Original post by Delbyo69)
    Ok confession time - I'm a 33 year old male
    Particularly funny that you chose me to quote
    • #10
    #10

    My first time was at 21 (yes, I know, I was old) after about 2 months of being in a relationship with my boyfriend who was 25.

    I didn't do it earlier because I just wasn't ready. I was a bit overweight and terribly self-consious about it. When I lost all the excess weight I felt really nice and I knew I wanted to do it, whether he was really special or not. Not that I would sleep with anybody, but it really didn't matter whether we would last or not!

    Anyway, the first time after a lot of foreplay, we had to stop because the pain was excruciating! There was no bleeding, but it was just too painful to keep going even though he couldn't have been more gentle. Fortunately, he was very understanding and reassuring. We tried again three days later and it was amazing.
    • #11
    #11

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm at uni and I'm still a virgin... But I feel ready to have sex. Most people around me have done it, and I just feel like it's time... I feel like I want to. But I'm worried... was your first time awkward? Was it painful? Girls, please share your experiences and help me out! Like I WANT to, but I'm worried about the awkwardness/pain...
    My first time was really quite painful... and there was blood. And it was actually a couple of weeks after the first time we'd attempted it and just couldn't get it in.

    You'll want some lube. That made it easier.
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    Despite the foreplay it did hurt, it hurt like hell and there was blood too. To be honest it hurt for the next couple of times.
    • #12
    #12

    I was always really afraid of the pain of first-time sex that I'd heard about. Mostly for this reason, I didn't do it until I was 20 and in a relatively serious relationship. (Guys were actually always surprisingly patient with me when I wanted to wait - I expected a lot more pressure than I got!) I did other stuff while I was still a virgin though, which I would recommend, rather than going from 0 to 60 straight away (so to speak).

    Anyway, I posted on here in the meantime about how anxious I was about having sex, and how I felt I'd never end up doing it, and someone told me that when I was really ready it would feel like I REALLY wanted to, not that I was doing it to get the first time over with.

    My first time was on a Sunday morning in my boyfriend's room at uni, not too long after we'd said we loved each other for the first time. I just finally decided that I wanted to do it with him, that I trusted him, and that I wanted to share it with him enough that I wasn't afraid anymore. It turned out that after an initial sting, which went away very quickly, I rather enjoyed it! It wasn't mind-blowing or hugely romantic, there weren't fireworks and I didn't feel very different afterwards - but it was lovely, intimate, comfortable. Though I did ask if we could move his duvet onto the floor and lie on that halfway through because I was worried the bed was making too much noise :p:

    Overall I have really fond memories and although I've broken up with the guy now, I'm really grateful he was my first time.
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    I didn't bleed nor feel any pain but it was quite uncomfortable for the first couple of times.
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    Welcome Squad
    Woah, some of these posts are quite scary.
    Anyway, I agree with what concubine said. It's different for each person, and we shouldn't look at it in the way we do, as if it is something to be claimed.
    • #13
    #13

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm at uni and I'm still a virgin... But I feel ready to have sex. Most people around me have done it, and I just feel like it's time... I feel like I want to. But I'm worried... was your first time awkward? Was it painful? Girls, please share your experiences and help me out! Like I WANT to, but I'm worried about the awkwardness/pain...
    Mine was absolutely awful. I'd been meaning to save it until I was in a good relationship (i've been single all my life)

    Got to university and one very drunken night with my society, I went back to some "friends" house and the guy dragged me into his room. from what I remember it was very painful.

    I'd give anything to be able to turn back time and prevent this from happening. I'd wish I'd lost it to someone who meant a lot to me. Now sex just seems so insignificant.
 
 
 
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