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    I find the idea of not having children at the wedding a bit strange as to me the whole idea is to celebrate the union of two people and bring their families together. But, I do not judge the guest list of the wedding I am attending as a guest, I am just happy to be there. I can imagine some form of commotion resulting from stating that brining children is a no-no though, especially if the family members are very close.
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    Noise and tantrums during the ceremony isn't ideal, I agree. I've been to weddings where if the kids start being loud, the parents take them outside or into a back room until they calm down, and I've also been to a wedding where they actually announced that they were happy for kids to run around, have fun and make noise (although the bride and groom did have their own toddler).

    I think, personally, I would allow children at my wedding as it is nice for them to be involved. I think for a lot of people in my family, if they were told their kids couldn't come, then the parents wouldn't come either. It would be important to me to have the whole family there.
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    Nah, I want children. I'm not too interested in my wedding fitting up to ideas of formality, tradition or even elegance. I love children and the life and vitality they bring - even when being naughty! It's such a big part of my personality it would feel weird not having children at my wedding.
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    No kids at mine and my fiancee's wedding. Not 18? Bugger off.

    I still have to pay for your kids regardless if they eat the food or throw the food around the room.
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    Maybe it's just me, but I see weddings as a family event and for me, it would be kind of rude not to include children. I'm personally never wanting children of my own but you do have to admit that it's just the sweetest thing when you have children as flower girls and page boys. I can completely understand people's desire not to have children at the actual ceremony, but I think not having them at a reception is a bit cruel. I'd hate the thought of my family thinking I didn't want my nieces and nephews there, but also the idea of my guests not being able to come due to babysitting arrangements. I went to plenty of weddings as a kid, and I don't particularly remember any entertainment being put on especially for us younger ones, but I do remember dancing stupidly and then just falling asleep on a chair somewhere.

    Each to their own, I guess. I can definitely understand your viewpoint.
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    I'm so damn glad someone brought this very important issue in the limelight...I have something to contribute here...my good friend got married last weekend and I being the best had to attend the wedding...but man it was utter chaos!!! there were more kids than adults alone!! my friends from a Pathan family and they prefer loads I mean LOADS of children, it's like one every year to be honest until the mother can't bear no more...but they all seemed ignored and underfed but now comes the actual part, this kid peed in his pants, floor and on his mother but it doesn't end there, he went to where the couple was sitting and climbed onto the brides lap!!!!!! the whole place stank of piss! it was a disaster honestly...


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    (Original post by Lemonzaz)
    Personally, I don't want any kids at my future wedding. The guests will constantly have to watch them, they may scream/cry, people may need to leave early,
    I've had to leave weddings early or decline to go to them precisely because children weren't invited. If you don't have handy relatives to look after children, or they're all at the same wedding, then getting someone to look after 2 or 3 children for a whole day/weekend isn't easy. Equally a 'no babies' rule stops you going if you're breast feeding. In practice, I'd say that most parents are paranoid about their child upsetting events like this and willingly spend hours hiding round the back with a fractious child - normally it seems to be by the bins - to prevent their kid annoying other people.

    It's your day, you can impose what restrictions you like, but to my mind, your reluctance to cope with the realities of other people doesn't bode well for any future marriage.
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    Your wedding, your choice. Do be prepared that people will take umbrage that you have excluded their little darlings....

    My husband's best friend had a child ban at his wedding- was a little awkward as I had just had a baby, my eldest child was allowed however as he was the groom's god child. In a way it was quite nice to not have to tend to little one....
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    (Original post by Kalliope)
    Nah, I want children. I'm not too interested in my wedding fitting up to ideas of formality, tradition or even elegance. I love children and the life and vitality they bring - even when being naughty! It's such a big part of my personality it would feel weird not having children at my wedding.
    That's a nice take on the issue!
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    I think it's fair enough, some kids are absolute demons at occasions like that. People do it all the time anyway, and if you dont want to be explicit about it, just put two names on the invitation and say 'please RSVP, no plus ones as we do not have space for extra seats'. OR make sure the reception starts at like 9pm and goes on into the small hours to weed out the parents who think they can get away with bringing young children. Or just subtly mention to them that you know a great babysitter if they aren't getting the hint. man, I really have thought about this.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Yes, we know, you had sex. :rolleyes:
    Sex? Nah, we had to count the money
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    (Original post by USRaphael)
    Sex? Nah, we had to count the money
    lol!!! that's hilarious!


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    If you don't invite the kids most parents won't come
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    I'm in two minds about this, on one hand I can find kids annoying and I think it would be a bit off-putting if a baby cried through the speeches etc.

    On the other hand I went to a wedding as a child (well, I think I was about 5/6) and I and the other children were well-behaved and enjoyed it. Plus it's adorable for photos when you can have the kids all dressed up in little dresses etc in the front row
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    I think it completely depends on the couple, and even though I am a mother, I have no issues with it whatsoever.

    For my own wedding, I would have children there, but only close family members (my son, younger cousins etc.) not someone from my work's child for example. I have seen weddings where the bride and groom provide 'goodie bags' at the reception for children for during the speeches which are age appropriate - colouring books etc. I've also seen ones who will give children disposable cameras and a list with "take a picture of: the bride in her dress/ the bride and groom kissing etc." to make the children feel included and more likely to do that than run around.
    I also know one couple who put a magic show on during the pictures and start of reception/speeches for the children to go to so they wouldn't get bored.

    However, I've also been to two weddings without my son (three with), and it might sound selfish, but I relaxed more during the two without. During the ones where he was there, I constantly worried if he would act up, would he get dinner in time, would there be accidents, where was he etc. and I didn't get to sit and appreciate the day properly. In the two without I could relax a bit more and appreciate what it meant for the couple, as my mind wasn't on one hundered other things.

    Some parents see it as a nice break, some don't want to leave their kids. You cannot please everyone, and, especially with a wedding, the bride and groom should do it the way they want it. If people throw a fit/don't come, then so be it.

    EDIT: Just thought I'd add, my son was 11 months old at all three of those weddings, hence the needing to stick to schedule. Now as a toddler he wouldn't be as bad in terms of routine and it would be easier.
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    Personally I would rather they weren't allowed, but knowing my partner I'm sure he would want them, so I'll guess I'll have to suck it up and deal with it. :rolleyes:

    Try a compromise? Have the ceremony late afternoon/early evening and say kids can come to that, but not the reception afterwards. That way parents who can't/won't leave kids can still come, but you can still relax after the ceremony.
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    (Original post by sugarmouse)
    I'm undecided. You make really good points and I'm not keen on kids for the noise and tantrums etc but I wouldn't want to offend people or mean that they had to find somewhere to put their kids that night.
    Same. On the one hand - I don't like most children and find them hard to handle, I hate hearing them cry and I hate hearing them being told off.

    On the other; at my partner's Dads wedding last year, he had a few children there (most notably partners 3 year old nephew) and it was lovely. If they're well behaved then it's ok, but you can't really specify that you only want the ones you know will behave :/
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    Forget money considerations. I would pay for the costs of a babysitter for each guest. That's how much I hate children.
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    A wedding is a family occassion so why wouldn't you invite them? I know that I have had to miss friends weddings because I have had no-one to have the kids (or had to go alone so OH could have them) Most of the weddings I have been to lately have had children belonging to the marrying couple so its a bit of a non-issue in those cases.
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    Having been to a thousand and one weddings (huge family...), I would say from experience that the ones to which children are invited are a lot nicer. It makes it feel more of a family affair, more welcoming and less exclusive. Of course, cost might be an issue, but in that case, only invite your closest family and friends. As for people who say that children can ruin the occasion, I honestly haven't seen this once. Parents are usually very quick to take their children out of the church if they're making too much noise, and the children are, on the whole, well behaved.
 
 
 
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