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Girls: I think you expect too much. Watch

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    I live in America and everyone here's ugly as ****....... just saying.
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    (Original post by Chillaxer)
    Modern women generally are just aloof and careerist, I don't know whether it's pickiness about men or just lack of the belief they want one. Personally I find it all quite cold and unromantic.
    I find that hot and attractive.
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    I think all young people today are under a lot of pressure to conform to the ideals as laid out by the media.

    One thing I'd like to point out is if someone doesn't like you for who you are they are probably the wrong person for you.
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    A girl who wants to focus on getting a good career and building her education a long with the dedication and cold exterior is sexy.

    Being tall is also a plus. Someone who is planning long-term, thinking a head. My type of person!
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    (Original post by Willbean)
    What?

    A girl who wants to focus on getting a good career and building her education a long with the dedication and cold exterior is sexy.

    Being tall is also a plus. Someone who is planning long-term, thinking a head. My type of person!
    You were describing me until you got to tall. Oops.

    OP, I agree. People expect too much of themselves, and of each other.
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    (Original post by tommyjazzhands)
    Firstly, I would like to say that girls/women have it tough. If not more so. However, society, advertising and the americanisation of culture is demanding more of us every decade, including guys.

    Why is it that we are all made to feel inadequate all the time? We have to have better this, bigger that or faster this? To me it's rubbish.

    Admittedly this has been triggered by my longing for girls who seem to care more about what society and their peers expect as opposed to what they actually feel themselves individually.

    I feel like I have to be taller, stronger, more intelligent, cooler and more popular. If I could isolate one reason, it would be the increasing Americanisation of our culture. Life is not perfect and I think we should all learn to be more acceptant of each others imperfections. Ok rant over. I'd like to add I do quite well with the opposite sex, but sometimes I feel like I'm being judged on superficiality to a great extent.

    Any thoughts?
    I discovered something recently on the internet I wont mention what, but since learning from it I've become a much better person by learning to undo social conditioning and by being happy by not depending on the values that advertising and society is trying to get me to conform to.
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    (Original post by holmes221)
    I discovered something recently on the internet I wont mention what, but since learning from it I've become a much better person by learning to undo social conditioning and by being happy by not depending on the values that advertising and society is trying to get me to conform to.

    Why not share it? Sounds interesting..
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    (Original post by tommyjazzhands)
    Why not share it? Sounds interesting..
    Well its a number of videos on youtube by this life coach but because it teaches other things (legal) not for the mainstream and it will seems like im trying to sell it with it I won't paste a link here.
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    Yep, try and see it from another way however, You aren't the smartest man in the world, nor the best looking or the strongest.

    But if you are stronger than the best looking
    better looking than the smartest
    and smarter than the strongest.

    Well then I guess you're pretty awesome
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    (Original post by SleepySheep)
    I live in America and everyone here's ugly as ****....... just saying.
    Why do so many people insist on wearing a sports bib as a t shirt and a snapback as acceptable everyday clothing?! :lolwut:
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    (Original post by ConnorB)
    Why do so many people insist on wearing a sports bib as a t shirt and a snapback as acceptable everyday clothing?! :lolwut:
    Because it's hot and sunny.

    We're used to rain and cold in the UK remember.
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    (Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons)
    You were describing me until you got to tall. Oops.

    OP, I agree. People expect too much of themselves, and of each other.
    Don't worry! It's just a plus not a deal breaker

    I'd like a strong willed and independent woman, that is sexy!
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    Interesting. Seems about right. Though I'd definitely say it's not something that's isolated to men, with the Americanisation/capitalist take on it, it affects all of us really.
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    It's interesting to hear everyones opinions. I suppose there is an element of natural selection- survival of the fittest but it's more like survival of the conformist. Or survival of the thickest! It's perhaps unfair to refer to 'Americanisation' as such, but it is the capitalist heavyweight of the 20th century onwards. It sounds simplistic but I think that the American film industry has quite an insidious affect on the modern psyche in conjunction with capital oriented marketing.

    From personal experience, I connect better with foreign girls who seem more willing to, get to know 'me' not the person I look like, and not judge me on my mobile phone and other superficial things. I think that English speaking nations share a certain 'Americanism/Capitalist' trait which affects cross gender relationships.

    Whether I can draw any conclusions from this, I don't know. It's modern society's influence which is the result if a culmination of several factors. For example, the inordinate cultural over-emphasis on technology and not spiritualism/love. But hey, companies don't make profit from enlightenment do they?
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    While I can broadly agree OP that there is a regrettable streak of materialism and shallowness within many people in today's society, you're effectively saying in essence that you think girls should lower their standards to suit you.

    If a girl simply isn't keen on you than improve your 'game' or investigate other women and opportunities.

    There's like what? 7-8 billion people on Earth now? Half of those are women. There is someone out there that will want to date you. The only thing you really have control over is your own image and charm.
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    (Original post by SophiaKeuning)
    Interesting. Seems about right. Though I'd definitely say it's not something that's isolated to men, with the Americanisation/capitalist take on it, it affects all of us really.
    Yeah, I agree. To be fair it affects us all. I guess I can only speak from my perspective. Do you think one gender is more affected by the need to conform to societal/peer expectations? I think perhaps Men are more likely to 'go it alone' and refuse to conform to these expectations. Of course, I could be completely wrong.
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    I'm a girl and I feel guys expect a lot too.

    I have always felt (and been told by some people) I look 'okay'. My body is 'okay'. But what does that even mean? I have a slight figure, meaning I have a little bit of a bum, and a little bit of a bust. Yet all lads seem to talk about is 'what do you prefer; boobs or bum?' Or 'curvy girls are so much better, only a dog wants a bone' etc. I just feel expectations have seesawed - in the same way there are people with natural curves that can't be size 0, there are girls with natural straight lines, but no one remembers that body shapes aren't like fashions and can be thrown out and changed on a regular basis. So what, we're supposed to be petite with DDs and a massive arse? No one in the world has a body like that. No one looks like they do on TV. That's why they're on TV.

    I understand that a lot is expected of men, to be the Prince Charming and to treat the girl like a flower, I think that sucks. Yes, there is no excuse for being treated badly but nobody's perfect. There's just someone out there who's perfect for you.

    When you find a good relationship, none of this matters. But until then, all this bull hurts. If we all communicated maybe it would be better for everyone.





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    (Original post by tommyjazzhands)
    Yeah, I agree. To be fair it affects us all. I guess I can only speak from my perspective. Do you think one gender is more affected by the need to conform to societal/peer expectations? I think perhaps Men are more likely to 'go it alone' and refuse to conform to these expectations. Of course, I could be completely wrong.
    I think both the males/females are going to feel they have massive pressures from society on appearance/identity/etc, especially those of us in our teens or early 20s. Initially I definitely thought girls give in to it more, especially in terms of appearance we're bombarded with what we should look like and how sexy we should be. When I go clubbing, the way girls dress and act seems so strained and desperate at times. But then you see the guys and their lad culture, there seems to be a real surge in the pressure to be muscular/hitting the gym these days. I feel like with image in particular, this day and age seems to be more focused on it than society has ever been.
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    Hi Molly,

    I have no idea what age you are but I can understand your anxiety.

    I've previously been married to a curvy women with a large bust etc

    Now am with a slim girl with small bust.
    I love her to bits and would give anything for her - magazines and tv are going with fashion (it was skinny girls in the 90's btw)

    Don't worry about it - trust me men love you all and as always it's different strokes for different folks
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    (Original post by Molly_xox)
    I'm a girl and I feel guys expect a lot too.

    I have always felt (and been told by some people) I look 'okay'. My body is 'okay'. But what does that even mean? I have a slight figure, meaning I have a little bit of a bum, and a little bit of a bust. Yet all lads seem to talk about is 'what do you prefer; boobs or bum?' Or 'curvy girls are so much better, only a dog wants a bone' etc. I just feel expectations have seesawed - in the same way there are people with natural curves that can't be size 0, there are girls with natural straight lines, but no one remembers that body shapes aren't like fashions and can be thrown out and changed on a regular basis. So what, we're supposed to be petite with DDs and a massive arse? No one in the world has a body like that. No one looks like they do on TV. That's why they're on TV.

    I understand that a lot is expected of men, to be the Prince Charming and to treat the girl like a flower, I think that sucks. Yes, there is no excuse for being treated badly but nobody's perfect. There's just someone out there who's perfect for you.

    When you find a good relationship, none of this matters. But until then, all this bull hurts. If we all communicated maybe it would be better for everyone.

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    Well said! Good to hear someone with a lot of sensible things to say and that too written in an easy to understand way

    We're all under pressure and we feel it the most, or at least reflect on it the most, when single. It helps to be positive and make the best out of the situation you have!
 
 
 
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