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I don't have any friends. (girl) Watch

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    First of all let me tell you are NOT alone!!!!

    When I was reading your post it took me back to when I was a 15 year old girl and lost every one of my friends and my cousin who was like my sister. I never felt so alone, had to do everything one my own but if I could change it now I wouldn't, not in a heartbeat, because I am so much more confident now, I had to move schools and so much more.

    Now would you believe I do most things on my own even if I have people to do them with?! That's because I believe everytime you do something on your own/you're afraid of you become so much more confident and that's the most attractive thing any Friend will look for! Now I meet those Girls who rejected me all those years ago and EVERY ONE of them are hanging off their Boyfriends, so unconfident, and I'm glad I was on my own or else maybe I could've ended up like them! :O Now I'm moving to Scotland in September to pursue my dream of studying to become Dietician and i believe that this happening to you now will shape the confident Woman you shall become in the future!

    No. one rule I would say to you is be positive, even if you don't feel like it, fake it! It's very attractive! Another thing I would say is be yourself, don't mould yourself just so someone will like you, it won't work in the long run. E.g if someone says "I love Beyonce" and you don't you should say something like " Really? She's gorgeous but just not my thing" Postive but you're still being yourself. Just be yourself, that's the main one I'd say.

    I know you said you crave another half but most people don't have that, just a few good friends. There's no one I'd say is my other half because by lablelling someone this and then if they let you down you're heartbroken. My advice for now is to try and be more confident you're self before looking for friends. Do something you're afraid of even if it's going for a meal by yourself, you'll feel so much better afterwards! Another thing I would tell you is to fnd a hobby, one that involves exercise as exercise realeses hormones that make you feel you could do or be anything!

    When you start uni and you're in a course that interests you you'll be around others who'll be interested in the same thing so it'll be easier to make Friends. Most people who start uni have the same porblems you're having now as they'll have moved away from their Friends and Family and they'll also want to make Friends, just like you! Join some clubs/societies, great way to make Friends. And remember it may take a while to make them so just concentrate on yourself and your course and they'll come naturally.


    A great book to read is " Don't sweat the small stuff" It really helpled me and I want you to know I often still feel the way you're feeling, it's normal but it does get easier but you need to make it happen.


    Good luck!


    <3 xxxx
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    x
    This was me in Year 13. Then I moved away to uni. Not saying I have an amazing social life right now, I still have pathetic self confidence and still get a bit lonely sometimes, but i've got more than enough friends. You'll be fine. The hardest thing to overcome for me, was realising that people actually did like me and wanted to be my friend, they don't know whatever has gone on before (tell them as much or as little as you like). Best piece of advice I can give? Start looking for a part time job as soon as you move. Works wonders. Not only does it help confidence levels it also means I know people from the uni city (unlike the vast majority who only ever meet other students) so I can stay here over the holidays instead of going back home to nothing.

    Besides, every group of friends out there you will get along with some people better than others. Mine ranges from people who I trust completely and tell everything to down to some who i never ever speak to individually.
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    This was me at the beginning of year 13, now I've just got back from a brilliant night with my friends. We're all so different, none of us have the same interests but that's why we're friends! My best friend is literally the opposite of me, I ride horses, she does ballet etc, so I don't think it's important to share interests with friends. Just be open minded. Don't not talk to someone just because they aren't similar to you. I literally talk to anyone and everyone now, my confidence in the last 9 months has grown so much, meeting new friends, starting a job. Do you have a job? It's a great way to meet people. Also join clubs or whatever that interest you and you could meet like minded people, at least you'd have a starting point for conversation. If that all seems scary, why not try meeting people online first with similar interests, chat online, it's much easier :P. some of my best friends I'd never met .
    I hope something I've said may have helped, pm me if you want to talk as I was in your position not that long ago so I understand how you feel! Xxx


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    (Original post by hannxo)
    This was me at the beginning of year 13, now I've just got back from a brilliant night with my friends. We're all so different, none of us have the same interests but that's why we're friends! My best friend is literally the opposite of me, I ride horses, she does ballet etc, so I don't think it's important to share interests with friends. Just be open minded. Don't not talk to someone just because they aren't similar to you. I literally talk to anyone and everyone now, my confidence in the last 9 months has grown so much, meeting new friends, starting a job. Do you have a job? It's a great way to meet people. Also join clubs or whatever that interest you and you could meet like minded people, at least you'd have a starting point for conversation. If that all seems scary, why not try meeting people online first with similar interests, chat online, it's much easier :P. some of my best friends I'd never met .
    I hope something I've said may have helped, pm me if you want to talk as I was in your position not that long ago so I understand how you feel! Xxx


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    Totally agree with you here! I am not a very sporty person, very much concerned mainly with academics but my best friend plays basketball and football! Our interests are varied, yet we are so close friends. :')
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by hannxo)
    This was me at the beginning of year 13, now I've just got back from a brilliant night with my friends. We're all so different, none of us have the same interests but that's why we're friends! My best friend is literally the opposite of me, I ride horses, she does ballet etc, so I don't think it's important to share interests with friends. Just be open minded. Don't not talk to someone just because they aren't similar to you. I literally talk to anyone and everyone now, my confidence in the last 9 months has grown so much, meeting new friends, starting a job. Do you have a job? It's a great way to meet people. Also join clubs or whatever that interest you and you could meet like minded people, at least you'd have a starting point for conversation. If that all seems scary, why not try meeting people online first with similar interests, chat online, it's much easier :P. some of my best friends I'd never met .
    I hope something I've said may have helped, pm me if you want to talk as I was in your position not that long ago so I understand how you feel! Xxx


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    Not having a go, but if you don't share the same interests, then what do you talk about? Another one of my problems with social anxiety is worrying about what to talk to people about, and I've always struggled to maintain conversations and get on with people that I don't have something specific to talk to them about.
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    well my friends seem to of let me down for tomorrow night. you fancy going out in essex tomorrow night gimme a bell
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not having a go, but if you don't share the same interests, then what do you talk about? Another one of my problems with social anxiety is worrying about what to talk to people about, and I've always struggled to maintain conversations and get on with people that I don't have something specific to talk to them about.
    I used to worry about what to talk about, but don't because the more you think about it the less natural the conversation is. I talk about everything with my best friend, what my naughty horse has been up to, her latest dance show, schoolwork, boys, other mutual friends, anything we've done together recently, I don't know. It's easier, I find, talking to someone who doesn't share interests with you as you can tell them about yours and you learn all about theirs. Don't worry about what you're gona say, just say it

    Ps sorry if you think i sound like 'easier said than done' but l've been in your position, I had social anxiety caused by bullying in high school, I still do get incredibly nervous, I ended up having to leave the room and crying after my bf's grandad was doing a speech at a big family do and he said something to me and everyone turned and looked and it was just too much :P.
    just gotta put yourself out there a bit, take in a deep breath and talk to people xxx


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    I know how you feel, when I finish uni in 6 weeks I'm not going to be near anyone I know, everyone is moving away or has a girlfriend they are moving in with or something where as I only really have the option of moving back home until I can find a job. Decided to use my savings though and attempt to go to china for a while on my own
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    I seem very similar to you. PM me maybe and we could chat?


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't have any friends. I'm 18 years old. I spend all my time on my computer, watching telly or studying. I never go out anywhere, except to school and the local shop for food. I'm an actual social reject.

    I feel extremely sad because I haven't anyone to talk to. I lost all my friends years ago and I've lived as a social recluse ever since. I crave friends, but I have very limited social skills so it's near impossible for me to make any. I'm quiet, shy, very introverted and have little confidence which makes things worse. I've just broken up for the Easter holidays, so I'm going to be living in solitude for the next two weeks. And after that, it's back to school where I have no friends, only a couple of people who I talk to. I'm dreading when school ends in May I won't see anyone my own age for months until I go to university, and there I'll be completely alone.

    I'm desperate to find a best friend. My low confidence means I can't be in a group of people (partly why I lost my past friends, they wanted to expand the friendship group which meant I was pushed to the side), but I thrive when with one or two people. Why is it so hard to find a friend that you're compatible with. Like Harry and Ron from Harry Potter. Best friends who do everything together. Any time I find someone who has the same interests as me, they're just not someone I can be friends with because they want to have loads of friends and have a social life. I just want to find someone who's like me, who only wants one or two friends and no one else. Is there anyone like that?

    It's really frustrating because there was one girl I used to know, she actually lives only a few roads away from me, but I haven't spoken to her for years. I've tried to get back in touch on a couple of occasions, but she ignored me, which really hurt and now I'm really put off contacting her again because I really really don't want to be rejected again and come across as a desperate loser (which I am, but still). So I'm completely stuck. I so want to talk to her again, but I can't.

    Does anyone else feel like this? That you haven't got any friends but you so badly want one. You're so lonely you just feel like crying all the time. You can't find anyone who's friend-material. You have to do everything alone, sit alone in the library at school, have nobody to hang round with, no one to joke with or chat with. No one to talk about your interests with, no one to share your secrets with, no one to gossip with, no one to moan with, no one to depend on, no one who enjoys your company, no one who likes you.

    I would give everything I own for a proper best friend.

    I just feel so depressed and unloved and alone.
    You are just like me. I'm dreading Uni this year tho 😰


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    And I thought I was the only one that had experienced this situation....

    Thing is, you've got to work at it and never give up.

    I've just moved to a different country away from all my friends (most of whom I was drifting apart from as they were at Uni and I was resitting A Levels) and last year I totally felt like you. But I start Uni a month ago. I realllyyy tried going upto people in tutes/lectures and sitting next to em and saying hi and trying to have a convo. Pretty much with all of them it's been a one off thing (they've not spoken to me since/I haven't seen em since/they haven't asked to stay in touch). But then someone in 1 class came up to me and said hi and 3 weeks later it feels like I've been their friend for years!

    Basically, you have to try to get to know people and not give up even if they don't seem interested in you.

    I'm like you in the group sense too - I'm myself with 1 person, but have 2 or more people in a group and I practically close up and become really shy. But you have to get over this too. Don't just accept that this happens to you, hence you will avoid all group situations. To overcome your fear of groups, get into as many group situations as possible! Join a club/activity near you (sports/debates/drama/whatever you fancy) and engage with people in a group. The more you do, the easier it becomes. /ramble

    Hope that helps
 
 
 
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