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I need a poop, there is no tissue left watch

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    You need to get the shower on once you're done and give yourself a jetwash
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    hose yourself down in the shower
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    Go to a shop and buy some toilet paper?
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    This thread is too indecent. I demand its closure immediately! :fuhrer:
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    omg.... this thread is absolutely hilarious.... funny... smelly..

    thanks for the laughs .....

    i can think of 2 newspapers in my country that absolutely should be used as toilet paper...BH and UH....oh and one more STar
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    This is why I miss £1 notes.
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    (Original post by Rybee)
    Same. Was in Amsterdam and our coach was leaving imminently, had a twitchy bum and there was no toilet roll.

    No way could I have held that in for the coach ride to the ferry. I did laugh when someone pointed out I only had 1 sock on. At the time I just said I was getting ready in a rush, but now I do look back and laugh at what happened :rolleyes:
    Hahaha this thought made me lol hah

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    (Original post by Bazlehman)
    Yes. I've had to do this on many occasions. I've found the Daily Star/Sun to be the most comfortable, and the Financial Times to be the least. Yes I am serious.

    The faeces can be somewhat repelled by the newspaper, so try to use it in conjunction with old napkins or baby wipes.
    Do you think the people at the Star and Sun know this and have adjusted their paper accordingly? If so, it's good to know they care.
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    stick a bit of lube/vaseline up your anus... it'll repel most of the faeces and make wiping a much simpler job

    apparently people in the forces do this when in the field but that's just hearsay
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    Be classy and use leaves.

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    Here buddy use this:



    Name:  2008-03-03-PyongyangTimes.jpg
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    If you were getting - or still are getting, perish the thought - THAT desperate then how come you're sitting on the PC instead of on the bog? And why not go to a neighbour's house and ask to borrow a roll, you'll probably look like a tit, but not as much of a tit as posting this whole dilemma for the whole of TSR to see has!!
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    You came on TSR to find out which newspaper will best suit you? :lolwut:

    However, considering the replies I see from people here, you probably came to the right place.
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    (Original post by Fullofsurprises)
    Do you think the people at the Star and Sun know this and have adjusted their paper accordingly? If so, it's good to know they care.
    Or more likely, the people at the FT know that poor people often run out of toilet roll, but occasionally attempt to the rise above their station by buying their paper, and they thus want to injure their *******s lest they get ideas, as a kind of aversion therapy, so adjust their paper quality accordingly.
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    (Original post by Bazlehman)
    Or more likely, the people at the FT know that poor people often run out of toilet roll, but occasionally attempt to the rise above their station by buying their paper, and they thus want to injure their *******s lest they get ideas, as a kind of aversion therapy, so adjust their paper quality accordingly.
    Ah yes. Clever. The FT are keeping the poor away from their kind of quality by causing rectal pain. That's why their staff earn the big bucks. Although the pink colour is kind of OK for toilet paper.
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    (Original post by HumanSupremacist)
    Additionally, are you eight years old?
    It happens. I once encountered this problem of no toilet roll. It was rather awkward.



    There's many things that you can do:
    1. Newspaper, magazine, yellow pages...
    2. Go to Asda/Tesco/Some public place that has toilet roll and steal it. Although I do not encourage stealing. Stealing is bad. Or you could just buy it.
    3. Cut up a bed sheet and use that.
    4. Get some grass from the garden, or some leaves.
    5. Crisp packet.
    6. Jump in the shower straight after.
    7. Toothbrush.
    8. Baby wipes.

    The list is endless. You just need to be creative :awesome:
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    (Original post by CAElite)
    This is why I miss £1 notes.
    Why did you restart this pitiful thread? :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by StartSomething)
    It happens. I once encountered this problem of no toilet roll. It was rather awkward.



    There's many things that you can do:
    1. Newspaper, magazine, yellow pages...
    2. Go to Asda/Tesco/Some public place that has toilet roll and steal it. Although I do not encourage stealing. Stealing is bad. Or you could just buy it.
    3. Cut up a bed sheet and use that.
    4. Get some grass from the garden, or some leaves.
    5. Crisp packet.
    6. Jump in the shower straight after.
    7. Toothbrush.
    8. Baby wipes.

    The list is endless. You just need to be creative :awesome:
    But..but...girls don't poo :cry2:
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    (Original post by StartSomething)
    7. Toothbrush.
    ewww
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    (Original post by marcus2001)
    But..but...girls don't poo :cry2:
    Yes, that is correct. It was a wee :ahee:

    (Original post by therisenmitten)
    ewww
    As long as you bleach it before putting it in your mouth again it's fine :awesome:
 
 
 
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