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    oh my days... why on earth would you stay with him it boggles the mind, i dont care how many negs i get for this but why on earth did you continue to take him back and stay with him my lord....

    im sure there are hundreds of men out there that would genuinely love to be with you
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    (Original post by xpretty_in_pinkx)
    how can i build up my self asteem? Thank you btw
    Well, it depends on the things that make you feel insecure and why you feel the need to go back to a guy.

    If you feel insecure about your body image then go to the Gym.

    If you feel that you haven't done enough in life then when you get a holiday, go travelling and see the world!

    There are actually a million and one things I could tell you to do but it really depends on why you feel insecure. You really have to really think about the reasons why you entered into that destructive pattern.
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    (Original post by xpretty_in_pinkx)
    Hi everyone.

    I could really do with a chat or just a friendly ear I think. I am a 23 year old female. When I was in my last year of university, I started to date a guy from back home who I met at the supermarket I worked at. I guess some would say it was meant to go wrong from the start as a week after we started dating, I found out he actually had a fiance with the venue booked and everything. He made her out to be a psycho to me and he essentially dumped her for me.

    Anyway, things were great but like anything, it turned out to be the most craziest two and a half years of my life. I did everything for this guy - treated him with care and respect. In turn, he cheated on me with a prositute, shouted at me, locked me in rooms. What is even worse is that I let him treat me so badly and I would have sex with him on demand and I would always take him back. Anyway, in the summer just gone, I had failed in many jobs. I am an intelligent person and I couldn't hold down any jobs because he would also do things like argue with me when I was at work and things. So in September I entered a teaching training course (where I am now practically a qualified secondary school teacher).

    In November, he rang me up and said he had booked flights to Australia and he wanted to travel for a year. (Bear in mind he has no qualifications, aspirations or anything). He dumped me and he refused to speak to me until he left. Later on that week, (about three days later) he rang me up saying he was coming back from Australia as he couldn't handle it out there. (Honestly 3 DAYS). He did go to Australia as well because I saw pictures of it on Facebook. Anyway, because I am such a mug when he came back I fell into bed with him in a heartbeat. I just really missed him and wanted to take care of him. But he was seeming distant and almost like he was fed up with me. Then, a couple of weeks after (end of January) he completely stopped talking to me and he changed his number.

    Now he has a 16 year old girlfriend, (he is 24). I know as a teacher now this isn't how I should feel but I feel so incredibly screwed up. I feel that he is happy and I am just sat here in plain misery. I am on anti-depressants and the only thing at the moment keeping me going is my teacher training course - but I even feel like a failure at that.

    It is killing me inside knowing that a young girl is out there and he will end up probably treating her the same. I have seen on Facebook (due to extensive stalking), that she calls him her "amazing boyfriend" etc. I don't know what to do. As bad as it sounds, I miss him so much. A part of me even wants him back. I am scared he will lead a happy life and he won't receive any karma for what he has done to me. I used to be such a confident person but now I am just lost inside.

    Can anyone give me any advice please?
    I am not trying to sound horrible when I say this but why on earth would you even entertain the idea of going back to this guy, he lied from you from day one, delete every single bit of contact of this guy, he is a rat.
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    (Original post by I am Ace)
    Do you happen to have a book on women abusing men?
    No, sorry if your girlfriend is abusing you. I could help you google search if you like.
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    (Original post by xpretty_in_pinkx)
    Hi everyone.

    I could really do with a chat or just a friendly ear I think. I am a 23 year old female. When I was in my last year of university, I started to date a guy from back home who I met at the supermarket I worked at. I guess some would say it was meant to go wrong from the start as a week after we started dating, I found out he actually had a fiance with the venue booked and everything. He made her out to be a psycho to me and he essentially dumped her for me.

    Anyway, things were great but like anything, it turned out to be the most craziest two and a half years of my life. I did everything for this guy - treated him with care and respect. In turn, he cheated on me with a prositute, shouted at me, locked me in rooms. What is even worse is that I let him treat me so badly and I would have sex with him on demand and I would always take him back. Anyway, in the summer just gone, I had failed in many jobs. I am an intelligent person and I couldn't hold down any jobs because he would also do things like argue with me when I was at work and things. So in September I entered a teaching training course (where I am now practically a qualified secondary school teacher).

    In November, he rang me up and said he had booked flights to Australia and he wanted to travel for a year. (Bear in mind he has no qualifications, aspirations or anything). He dumped me and he refused to speak to me until he left. Later on that week, (about three days later) he rang me up saying he was coming back from Australia as he couldn't handle it out there. (Honestly 3 DAYS). He did go to Australia as well because I saw pictures of it on Facebook. Anyway, because I am such a mug when he came back I fell into bed with him in a heartbeat. I just really missed him and wanted to take care of him. But he was seeming distant and almost like he was fed up with me. Then, a couple of weeks after (end of January) he completely stopped talking to me and he changed his number.

    Now he has a 16 year old girlfriend, (he is 24). I know as a teacher now this isn't how I should feel but I feel so incredibly screwed up. I feel that he is happy and I am just sat here in plain misery. I am on anti-depressants and the only thing at the moment keeping me going is my teacher training course - but I even feel like a failure at that.

    It is killing me inside knowing that a young girl is out there and he will end up probably treating her the same. I have seen on Facebook (due to extensive stalking), that she calls him her "amazing boyfriend" etc. I don't know what to do. As bad as it sounds, I miss him so much. A part of me even wants him back. I am scared he will lead a happy life and he won't receive any karma for what he has done to me. I used to be such a confident person but now I am just lost inside.

    Can anyone give me any advice please?
    I would cut him out COMPLETELY like not even reply or anything deleted all ways of contacting and if he does forcefully try to contact call the cops, think of it as a life experience, perhaps this kind of situation my re occur in the future and you will be prepared to deal with it much more effectively, I'm sorry to hear this anyway, i wish the best of your future.



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    You need to cut him out of your life like someone else said. End of.


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    Here's a few tips OP:

    1.) Avoid men who chat you up while they're still engaged.

    2.) Don't convince yourself that ridiculous bull**** lines like "she's a total psycho" are true. The reason so many women end up in relationships like this is because they lie to themselves - they know deep down that's it's bull****, but it's such a pretty fairy story that they want to believe it's true.

    3.) Beware of men who are overly charming and lovey-dovey when you first meet them. Abusers make up for their inability to socialize with women like equals by showering them with disproportionate levels of flattery, gifts and romantic gestures. Women with no self-esteem fall for it like dominoes every time, because they're made to feel special. Most women are instantly on their guard with men like these, because they know it is entirely unnatural behaviour. Normal men want to get to know a girl first before becoming more romantic.

    4.) If you are thinking 'he's a good person really', or 'no one knows him like I do', that's a sure sign you need to quit now.

    5.) Here's some advice from a book I'm reading. If you want to catch a monkey, put a stone in the mouth of a vase. Make the stone big enough so that it's stuck and can't be taken out of the vase again. The monkey will come along and try to remove the stone. Even though it's of no value to the monkey, it will try again and again to pull the stone free. All you have to do then is throw the net over the monkey.

    This man is a worthless stone, and if you keep trying to cling on to him, you will lose your freedom. Learn to recognise such people in your life, sit down and spend some time analysing yourself and why you fell for such a man. Seek counselling if possible.
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    It's amazing to think there are so many guys out there who would treat you like a princess, yet you want to go back to this guy.
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    Thank you - I have been thinking of counselling to be honest.
    Does anone believe in karma? I feel like he has treated so many girls badly...why does he get away with it?
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    (Original post by xpretty_in_pinkx)
    Thank you - I have been thinking of counselling to be honest.
    Does anone believe in karma? I feel like he has treated so many girls badly...why does he get away with it?
    There is no such thing as karma.

    Chances are it will eventually bite him in the arse. But he chooses his 'targets' wisely. I guess he goes for the naive young sort that he knows he can get away with doing these things as he has shown to have done countless times according to you.

    He's really messed with your self- esteem, counselling is advisable.
 
 
 
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