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My boyfriend hates the idea of sex toys :( i love them Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Heya,
    But the thing is.... i can never seem to have an orgasm through penetration, i've never had one before anyway, so i dont even know what im expecting, but this isnt the main issue. He'll usually finish inside me, then i'll finish on my own, through clitoral stimulation, while he'll help by caressing me and whispering in my ear. THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS, I KINDA LIKE IT.
    BUT i'd really like him to reeeeaallly help me orgasm, so i'd love him to use the vibrating dildo's with the clitoral vibrator bit on me.
    but he HATES the idea of me or him using sex toys, he says things like "isnt the sex good enough with just us?" and it breaks my heart, so i say "yeah, forget it, Its GREAT as it is"
    So my many sex toys boxes are gathering dust.

    he also thinks i shouldnt really watch porn while im with him.
    :/
    how do i convince him to let me use sex toys? he would let me if i bothered him enough about it, BUT i wouldnt enjoy it, if he wasnt okay with it
    Try explaining the situation that it is ok to use sex toys to 'enhance' your sex life. I personally am not to keen on them either and wouldn't really introduce then into the bedroom; the only thing I did suggest was a C ring.

    Even though its not my first port of call; if the girl I was with wanted to use them for the very reason you've stated then I wouldn'd see an issue with it.

    Sex is only good if we both enjoy it, right? :rolleyes:
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    I agree that it might be best to get a less phallic toy to use. Guys feel less threatened if they don't feel in direct competition with your toy.

    The porn thing, confuses me somewhat. It might be that he feels threatened by you experiencing any sexual pleasure that he hasn't given you, which probably points to his own insecurities more than anything. It sounds like you're more sexually experienced than him which could be contributing to this; worried about being compared to other guys etc. Maybe worth talking to him and reasssuring him that just because you enjoy having fun by yourself, and just because you enjoy toys, it doesn't change that you enjoy sex with him, and that they're different types of pleasure; you can have both, it doesn't make either less valid.

    Or possibly bring porn into a session with him and see how that pans out. He could just have a problem with pornography as a whole.
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    You must understand that men are still in hock to their supposed gender role and therefore hold non-fun beliefs about things like sex toys. As a man myself, I can tell you he sees making you orgasm during penetration as a challenge which if he fails, he is not man enough to be your boyfriend. Further emasculating him for that failure would be the introduction of a phallic object which probably puts the size of his penis to shame. This "challenge" thing probably sounds beyond ridiculous to you, but with every time you say you don't mind, he'll see it as you essentially admitting he is not the perfect man.

    That analysis may give you some pointers as to how to talk to him to overcome this barrier. It sounds like the two of you have a really good sexual relationship and it would be a shame to let patriarchal gender roles introduce anxiety into your bedroom.

    If he really, really wants to try and make this work - it's an unrealistic goal for many women - why can't he both **** you and play with your clit with his fingers at the same time? Especially if you do it from behind, this is beyond easy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Heya,
    so me and my lovely boyfriend are both 20 and have been together for 4 months now, after being friends for a year.
    And were absolutely loving every moment of it!
    The sex is great! considering he was soooo inexperienced, I've taught him well LOL
    But the thing is.... i can never seem to have an orgasm through penetration, i've never had one before anyway, so i dont even know what im expecting, but this isnt the main issue. He'll usually finish inside me, then i'll finish on my own, through clitoral stimulation, while he'll help by caressing me and whispering in my ear. THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS, I KINDA LIKE IT.
    BUT i'd really like him to reeeeaallly help me orgasm, so i'd love him to use the vibrating dildo's with the clitoral vibrator bit on me.
    but he HATES the idea of me or him using sex toys, he says things like "isnt the sex good enough with just us?" and it breaks my heart, so i say "yeah, forget it, Its GREAT as it is"
    So my many sex toys boxes are gathering dust.

    he also thinks i shouldnt really watch porn while im with him.
    :/
    how do i convince him to let me use sex toys? he would let me if i bothered him enough about it, BUT i wouldnt enjoy it, if he wasnt okay with it
    He wants you to watch porn with him but doesn't want to use sex toys with you? Quid pro quo, tell him you will watch porn with him if he tries sex toys with you.
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    (Original post by Tim99)
    C ring.
    I understand nothing of this, a C ring is very unromantic i think , and me playing with a vibro to my girl, is 10 000 times more romantic...
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    (Original post by danny111)
    He wants you to watch porn with him but doesn't want to use sex toys with you? Quid pro quo, tell him you will watch porn with him if he tries sex toys with you.
    I am a man, and i dont even like porn with man in it, why on earth should i like to watch a strangers mans penis???
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    x
    I'm genuinely baffled by this post. Judging by your post, it seems as though you don't let him forget that you're waaaay more experienced than he is. No wonder the poor guy feels insecure over a sex toy! He's obviously doubting that he's preforming well enough and asking to watch porn while you have sex isn't going to help this.

    At this point, I'd like to point out that the fact that you can't orgasm during penetration may be down to you and not just him.

    Now, if you've never came before during sex you could use this to your advantage. Sit him down, explain to him that you'd like to and since you never have before it could be your own little thing. Google different positions and find out ones that work for you. If you achieve this, it'll be a great confidence booster for him which'll greatly improve your sex.

    I'd also like to point out that your relationship is fairly new, with his lack of experience he may still feel a tad uncomfortable and insecure (especially if you're not going to let him forget that you taught him the ropes). As things progress he may be comfortable with watching porn / using sex toys.

    Just give it time!
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    (Original post by CJKay)
    What in the holy **** is that second one? I find it difficult to see how any guy would be happy about wearing that while trying to shag.
    I have been lol-ing so god damn hard
 
 
 
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