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    (Original post by Alter-ego)
    24 seducing a 14 year old...doesn't that kinda make him a pedophile? :confused:
    He wasn't 'seducing' me. I would beg him to meet me and he always refused, and his messages were never suggestive.
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    I think you are incredibly gullible and naive. Let's face it, if he wanted to leave his girlfriend to be with you then her would. Obviously I don't know details of the story but I'm pretty sure that he would still have access to his child whether they were together or not.
    You knew he had a girlfriend and a child yet still decided to get involved - shame on you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This kind of response is exactly why I was hesitant to post here.

    It's all fine and well for an outsider to read something, judge a situation and throw whatever comments out there. It's easy to judge a situation, it's not so easy to be the person in the situation.

    Like I said, I didn't plan for any of this to happen and of course I feel guilty about it so please try and refrain from hurling insults and abuse my way. You can have your opinion, I respect that, but aggressive and abusive messages aren't going to help.
    If you ask for advice on this kind of situation from outsiders, then you are going to end up getting an outsiders judgement.
    I think the best thing for you to do would be to put yourself in the girlfriend's shoes.
    If he's cheated with you he could well cheat on you.
    I honestly think you would be better off without him, for your sake as well and the girlfriend's and his kid's sake, as hard as that is for you to do it's likely for the best.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This kind of response is exactly why I was hesitant to post here.

    It's all fine and well for an outsider to read something, judge a situation and throw whatever comments out there. It's easy to judge a situation, it's not so easy to be the person in the situation.

    Like I said, I didn't plan for any of this to happen and of course I feel guilty about it so please try and refrain from hurling insults and abuse my way. You can have your opinion, I respect that, but aggressive and abusive messages aren't going to help.

    You asked for honest responses and you got them. Nobody is insulting you or saying anything unwarranted.
    You have a childlike way about you as if you believe you are the only one who has ever been this deeply in love or this deeply depressed. That is normal, but you cannot lose every sense of rational thinking. I am an emotional person who's capable of acting on my feelings, but even to me, your essay sounds as though you are still 14.
    We've all been crazy in love and confused and miserable. But it does not excuse either cheating with someone or ignoring every red flag there is. He has proven a creep again and again. It has reached a point where I am questioning whether you are capable of tearing loose at all.
    Everything is wrong about this.
    - He lied and said he was 17 when he was 24. Which means he is a liar and which also means he has no boundaries or sense of decency as he is flirting with a 14 year old.
    - He cheated on his girlfriend whom he also has a child with. He has no sense of moral.
    - You had personal conversations with his girlfriend and then went on to sleep with him behind her back. You are also morally in the wrong, and I am guessing too young and immature to even have a vague grasp of the consequences of your actions.
    - Even though this doesn't matter at this point, as you shouldn't be in touch with him anyway, I can add that he is not invested in you. If he was, he wouldn't have cut you off and blocked you in the first place. You're an internet chat buddy, and now also a source of easy sex on the side. That is the harsh truth and you need to come to terms with it.
    There is no amount of feelings or petty words from his side which can add up for all the red flags listed above. There is no justification, not even "you don't know what it's like to be little me". It doesn't matter.

    I am guessing this advice too will go over your head but the only real thing to do is to cut him off, never talk to him again and move on. What goes on between him and his gf and whether they should be together has nothing to do with you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He wasn't 'seducing' me. I would beg him to meet me and he always refused, and his messages were never suggestive.
    What reason did he give you for pretending to be seventeen and messaging fourteen year old girls?
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    You asked for honest responses and you got them. Nobody is insulting you or saying anything unwarranted.
    You have a childlike way about you as if you believe you are the only one who has ever been this deeply in love or this deeply depressed. That is normal, but you cannot lose every sense of rational thinking. I am an emotional person who's capable of acting on my feelings, but even to me, your essay sounds as though you are still 14.
    We've all been crazy in love and confused and miserable. But it does not excuse either cheating with someone or ignoring every red flag there is. He has proven a creep again and again. It has reached a point where I am questioning whether you are capable of tearing loose at all.
    Everything is wrong about this.
    - He lied and said he was 17 when he was 24. Which means he is a liar and which also means he has no boundaries or sense of decency as he is flirting with a 14 year old.
    - He cheated on his girlfriend whom he also has a child with. He has no sense of moral.
    - You had personal conversations with his girlfriend and then went on to sleep with him behind her back. You are also morally in the wrong, and I am guessing too young and immature to even have a vague grasp of the consequences of your actions.
    - Even though this doesn't matter at this point, as you shouldn't be in touch with him anyway, I can add that he is not invested in you. If he was, he wouldn't have cut you off and blocked you in the first place. You're an internet chat buddy, and now also a source of easy sex on the side. That is the harsh truth and you need to come to terms with it.
    There is no amount of feelings or petty words from his side which can add up for all the red flags listed above. There is no justification, not even "you don't know what it's like to be little me". It doesn't matter.

    I am guessing this advice too will go over your head but the only real thing to do is to cut him off, never talk to him again and move on. What goes on between him and his gf and whether they should be together has nothing to do with you.
    I feel that comments calling me 'disgusting' are completely unwarranted. I think you've taken my post the wrong way, I am most certainly not 'deeply in love' or 'deeply depressed'. I did not intend to portray myself as some sort of victim in this situation - I'm very well aware that I'm not.

    Of course I understand the consequences of my actions, if I didn't then I'd carry on without a care in the world but instead I'm cutting myself up about it and constantly worrying. He cut me off last time because he thought she wouldn't let him see their child. It can't all be one-sided on his part considering she has also admitted that they're together for the child. I just don't think it's fair on anyone involved, and he's adamant that he doesn't want to only see their child on weekends - that makes sense to me, I'm not why it's so difficult to understand to everyone else and makes me so gullible and naive? His child means everything to him, I can understand how difficult it would be to go from seeing him every day, to having to see him at weekends or a couple of days a week.

    Thank you for the reply regardless, I can assure you it hasn't gone over my head and I appreciate your honesty.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    What reason did he give you for pretending to be seventeen and messaging fourteen year old girls?
    We didn't talk about it, I don't think it's relevant anymore. It's in the past. He did lie about his age, but that doesn't change the connection and feelings involved. We did talk about his age when I met him last week, and I think he's just insecure about getting older. He looks and acts younger than he is, like he's in denial of getting older. So maybe that's why he lied initially, for some sort of escape from the reality and eventually it turned into a lot more than that.
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    Guys, I don't think beating her up any more than she already has been is going to help at all.
    She understands what she done was wrong and continuing to say some of the disgusting things like some people are saying could prove dangerous as some people really take these things to heart.

    So, instead of bashing her, how about offering constructive criticism?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We didn't talk about it, I don't think it's relevant anymore. It's in the past. He did lie about his age, but that doesn't change the connection and feelings involved. We did talk about his age when I met him last week, and I think he's just insecure about getting older. He looks and acts younger than he is, like he's in denial of getting older. So maybe that's why he lied initially, for some sort of escape from the reality and eventually it turned into a lot more than that.
    I can't believe this doesn't concern you. It is ****ing weird for a 24 year old guy to be talking to 14 year old girls on the internet. Do you think he did it for the conversation? No right minded adult man would do that. I imagine he broke off all contact because he knew what he was doing was wrong.

    You clearly don't care about the kid, you've made that pretty clear. They've both decided that staying together is what's best for the kid, you do not have the right to over rule that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel that comments calling me 'disgusting' are completely unwarranted. I think you've taken my post the wrong way, I am most certainly not 'deeply in love' or 'deeply depressed'. I did not intend to portray myself as some sort of victim in this situation - I'm very well aware that I'm not.

    Of course I understand the consequences of my actions, if I didn't then I'd carry on without a care in the world but instead I'm cutting myself up about it and constantly worrying. He cut me off last time because he thought she wouldn't let him see their child. It can't all be one-sided on his part considering she has also admitted that they're together for the child. I just don't think it's fair on anyone involved, and he's adamant that he doesn't want to only see their child on weekends - that makes sense to me, I'm not why it's so difficult to understand to everyone else and makes me so gullible and naive? His child means everything to him, I can understand how difficult it would be to go from seeing him every day, to having to see him at weekends or a couple of days a week.

    Thank you for the reply regardless, I can assure you it hasn't gone over my head and I appreciate your honesty.
    If you were thinking about what's best for the child, you wouldn't have slept with him to begin with. The relationship between the child and its mother and him has absolutely nothing to do with you. You need to cut him off and leave this family alone. He's not available, and even he was and shouldn't and wouldn't be with you.
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    Even setting aside his girlfriend and child, I can't get past the fact that at 24 he was talking to a 14 year old child and claiming to be 17- that is seriously wrong. Surely this must alert you to the fact that he is a massive creep? Sounds like you've had a lucky escape to be honest. By the sounds of it even his own girlfriend doesn't really want to be with him. Hopefully this should help you get over him
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    I'm not going to call you names or say anything harsh, even if I wanted to it seems like loads of people have covered this already. What you asked for is advice, and I'll give it to you.

    This man is NOT worth your time. I honestly don't believe he's only with his girlfriend for his child. You say your proof is that she says the same, but if that's true why was she upset to see your messages? Because she loves him. You think he doesn't sleep with her? Act like a normal couple? And if you meant that much to him, that you were impossible for him to stay away from, he'd leave his girlfriend for you. Think about it- is he going to think his child's life is better if he stays with a woman he doesn't love and has a bit on the side that his kid could find out about, or is he going to break off his relationship so both parents can have happy, healthy ones, benefitting everyone involved? If it was just for the kid he wouldn't be fooling around with you. He's not just with her for the child. The way to find this out for sure- break it off with him and tell him you'll only meet him again if he breaks up with his girlfriend. If you're worth it to him he'd do it.

    You know, deep down, you HAVE to break it with him. But I'm not going to tell you to do that, because I'd be a hypocrite, as I am hung up on a (single) guy that will never want to be with me and yet I won't break contact/occasional sex. I know I should, much like you know you should. Because we'll only end up being hurt so much more in the long run.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel that comments calling me 'disgusting' are completely unwarranted. I think you've taken my post the wrong way, I am most certainly not 'deeply in love' or 'deeply depressed'. I did not intend to portray myself as some sort of victim in this situation - I'm very well aware that I'm not.

    Of course I understand the consequences of my actions, if I didn't then I'd carry on without a care in the world but instead I'm cutting myself up about it and constantly worrying. He cut me off last time because he thought she wouldn't let him see their child. It can't all be one-sided on his part considering she has also admitted that they're together for the child. I just don't think it's fair on anyone involved, and he's adamant that he doesn't want to only see their child on weekends - that makes sense to me, I'm not why it's so difficult to understand to everyone else and makes me so gullible and naive? His child means everything to him, I can understand how difficult it would be to go from seeing him every day, to having to see him at weekends or a couple of days a week.

    Thank you for the reply regardless, I can assure you it hasn't gone over my head and I appreciate your honesty.
    sleeping with somebody who has a partner? yes that is disgusting i dont see how you could even think otherwise,
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    (Original post by Scienceisgood)
    Guys, I don't think beating her up any more than she already has been is going to help at all.
    She understands what she done was wrong and continuing to say some of the disgusting things like some people are saying could prove dangerous as some people really take these things to heart.

    So, instead of bashing her, how about offering constructive criticism?
    Well she said in the opening post that it was out of the question that she would leave this, so basically she's determined to break up this family, to **** up the lives of this poor mother and child.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not going to call you names or say anything harsh, even if I wanted to it seems like loads of people have covered this already. What you asked for is advice, and I'll give it to you.

    This man is NOT worth your time. I honestly don't believe he's only with his girlfriend for his child. You say your proof is that she says the same, but if that's true why was she upset to see your messages? Because she loves him. You think he doesn't sleep with her? Act like a normal couple? And if you meant that much to him, that you were impossible for him to stay away from, he'd leave his girlfriend for you. Think about it- is he going to think his child's life is better if he stays with a woman he doesn't love and has a bit on the side that his kid could find out about, or is he going to break off his relationship so both parents can have happy, healthy ones, benefitting everyone involved? If it was just for the kid he wouldn't be fooling around with you. He's not just with her for the child. The way to find this out for sure- break it off with him and tell him you'll only meet him again if he breaks up with his girlfriend. If you're worth it to him he'd do it.

    You know, deep down, you HAVE to break it with him. But I'm not going to tell you to do that, because I'd be a hypocrite, as I am hung up on a (single) guy that will never want to be with me and yet I won't break contact/occasional sex. I know I should, much like you know you should. Because we'll only end up being hurt so much more in the long run.
    Thank you so much for that. You make complete and utter sense. I think deep down I know that you and most other people are right about the situation, but the hardest part is taking off the rose tinted glasses and seeing that for myself. I'll have a proper chat with him this week and tell him that I can't keep this up. At least that way, like you said, I'll know one way or the other. And if I find out now, yeah it'll hurt, but it'll be a lot less worse than letting it carry on for months and ending up causing more damage to everyone, rather than just me.
    Thank you again, hope your situation works out too. x
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Well she said in the opening post that it was out of the question that she would leave this, so basically she's determined to break up this family, to **** up the lives of this poor mother and child.
    I think that translated to she doesn't want to stop seeing him but she wants to stop sleeping with him.
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    (Original post by Scienceisgood)
    Guys, I don't think beating her up any more than she already has been is going to help at all.
    She understands what she done was wrong and continuing to say some of the disgusting things like some people are saying could prove dangerous as some people really take these things to heart.

    So, instead of bashing her, how about offering constructive criticism?
    The thread is only two pages long, and there is hardly any bashing. I've seen girls on TSR getting far more harsh treatment for far less. This girl is both delusional AND determined to ruin lives of others. She's also a liar. And seen in that light, she's not getting a harsh treatment. Several have offered constructive criticism.
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    (Original post by SillyMilly)
    sleeping with somebody who has a partner? yes that is disgusting i dont see how you could even think otherwise,
    I would understand that if it was what I had set out to do and had intended on it, but I didn't. I feel bloody awful about it, my head is a complete mess and of course I feel guilty. Even still, I don't think that deserves a complete stranger wishing me to get hit by a car..
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    The thread is only two pages long, and there is hardly any bashing. I've seen girls on TSR getting far more harsh treatment for far less. This girl is both delusional AND determined to ruin lives of others. She's also a liar. And seen in that light, she's not getting a harsh treatment. Several have offered constructive criticism.
    Excuse me? How am I a liar? I am not determined to ruin lives, I've stated several times how guilty I feel about the situation. If I was out to ruin lives, I'd have messaged his partner by now wouldn't I?

    I might be delusional, that's fair enough. It's easy for an outsider to have a judgment and be clear with what someone should do, but when it's you in the situation it's far more difficult to think clearly and without having a clouded judgment. I'm confused and scared and trying to sort my head out so I can think clearly about everything, I appreciate the constructive criticism but what I don't agree with is people calling me disgusting and wishing I'd get hit by a car - that is completely unwarranted.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I would understand that if it was what I had set out to do and had intended on it, but I didn't. I feel bloody awful about it, my head is a complete mess and of course I feel guilty. Even still, I don't think that deserves a complete stranger wishing me to get hit by a car..
    no wishing you to get hit by a car thats wrong its a horrible thing to say i dont condone that but really ive been cheated on and i cant tell you how horrific it is to have another woman rip apart your relationship im sure you wouldnt like it if it was you being cheated on
 
 
 
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