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Ghost encounters? Watch

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    Most of my paranormal/ghost stories are later attributed to drinking beer.
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    Well apparently ghosts make themselves more noticed when 'your defences are down' I.e. drunk, drugs or not fully aware somehow etc


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    One morning before school in December that would basically lay the foundations for the rest of my life.

    It was a cold morning and I woke up to discover that my hands were almost blue with the cold. I went downstairs and discovered my mum making eggs and bacon for breakfast. Said good morning and sat at the table waiting for them to finish cooking.

    She served them up and as I was sat there eating my bacon and egg sandwiches, there were three loud knocks on our front door. These weren't just normal knocks they were exaggerated and louder than anything normal.

    I approached the door slowly and at the door was a man I had never seen before. He wore a long black coat and had a black carrier bag held in his right hand and a long dark beard with long dark hair.

    At this stage, I was masturbating furiously in front of the dark stranger and throwing pencils at his forehead.

    He pulled out a knife and proceeded to chase me into the house, wielding the knife in the air as we both ran into the kitchen. My dog was barking possessively and licking my testicles like there was no tomorrow.

    The event was over as quickly as it began. I looked frantically for a sharp weapon to protect myself but could only find a copy of that morning's Sun newspaper. As the man stood there, stabbing me repeatedly in the eyes and hips, I tried to give him numerous paper cuts to no avail.

    Lying on the floor, still masturbating and bleeding excessively, I couldn't do anything as the mysterious man did a slightly runny poo on the floor and left the house at walking pace.

    It was over.
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    Cool troll


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    (Original post by Wilfred Little)
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    I don't quite understand how the story went from here

    I approached the door slowly and at the door was a man I had never seen before. He wore a long black coat and had a black carrier bag held in his right hand and a long dark beard with long dark hair.
    to here

    At this stage, I was masturbating furiously in front of the dark stranger and throwing pencils at his forehead.
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    Me and my mates used an Ouija board once, it freaked everyone the hell out.

    Everyone but me.

    Because I was the one moving the piece.
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    I'm not a firm believer in ghosts, but apparently my deceased paternal grandmother was a spirit medium. Her son slash my dad wasn't much of a believer too, but we both didn't want to put her down by saying so :erm:

    Back then, she claimed that she talked to her deceased husband almost every night. It was ... awkward. :fluffy:
 
 
 
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