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"Friendzoned" a nice guy, now he hates me Watch

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    (Original post by ZRO)
    Lol basically he revealed his "true colors". You were wise to friendzone him, and now its time for him to enter the "endzone"
    Bell-endzone. :fyi:
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    (Original post by danny111)
    I disagree.

    Being a jerk would be calling her a ***** in front of others or spreading rumors about her. Or it would be getting to sleep with her and then never calling.

    But I guess you would disagree with that, so let's just agree to disagree.
    You're right about disagreeing, fair enough. *shakes your hand*
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    (Original post by danny111)
    Why does wanting to be with someone but not as a friend make someone a jerk?

    He is probably still very much into OP and is upset every time he sees her. I was friendzoned once and it went on but at some point I just said bye. He does not see her by choice I take it but is forced to because OP comes to his (committee member) club. So his reaction since he can't be friends with her is to be hostile. Doesn't make him a jerk.

    Same reason most people don't stay close friends with their ex.
    I totally agree. I don't why people on here are so quick to call him a jerk/wasteman etc.
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    If you want to take things slow then go on dates or something - dont kiss guys on nights out when your pissed, its the complete opposite of taking things slow and understandably gets miss-read as promiscuous.

    He has simply got the hump on cos you appeared to be a 'party girl' then very quickly changed into 'taking it slow' and rejected him at the same time - so hes not a happy bunny and thats why hes acting weird.

    Best to just avoid and be civil/plesant if you must deal with him.
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    Okay, don't encourage him by texting him back. If he wants to talk to you, he should be able to come up and say what he wants to say. "Friendzone" is often a term used on "nice guys", he doesn't sound all too friendly to me. Ignore him and he'll come around.
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    (Original post by Ribbits)
    What a ****.

    He is actually just being horrible to you because you don't want to sleep with him.
    I wouldn't bother texting him back civilly if that is how he's going to act! Even warning you on the first night you met him 'not to friendzone' him. What kind of person does that? 'You clearly found me sexually attractive tonight while very drunk, you are now never allowed to revise that opinion - if you don't like me anymore, tough, you still have to sleep with me'.

    Some people in university seem to be completely sheltered from the real world and have a distorted idea of what is acceptable as normal human contact because they hold a position of social power (committee member) so feel like everything they do is right. Heck, probably spills over into professions in the real world...
    (Original post by Ice Constricter)
    Its obvious this guy is lacking real world experience with women. "Oii!!! You'd better not put me in the friendzone!!!"
    (Original post by danny111)
    Why does wanting to be with someone but not as a friend make someone a jerk?

    He is probably still very much into OP and is upset every time he sees her. I was friendzoned once and it went on but at some point I just said bye. He does not see her by choice I take it but is forced to because OP comes to his (committee member) club. So his reaction since he can't be friends with her is to be hostile. Doesn't make him a jerk.

    Same reason most people don't stay close friends with their ex.
    (Original post by This Honest)
    Insecure little boy. "Don't put me in the friendzone"
    Just try and get along with him for the sake of the team.
    Thanks for all the advice

    TBH I did change my mind the day after he asked me not to friendzone him, but I was really drunk and he was a bit sulky after all I gave him was my number. He was kind of pushy too (like when we were making out in the bar he kept doing weird stuff like grabbing my hands and putting them up his T-shirt, I've never had anyone do that before, and sticking his hand between my legs though I was wearing a skirt and we were in public!) I said I wanted to take things slow because I've rushed into a relationship before and the guy cheated on me (which is true) and he said something like "I won't cheat on you ever, I don't think I could ever pull a girl as beautiful as you." To be honest my response was kinda WTF?

    I am a party girl but I haven't even had "laddish" guys treat me like that before, plus I found it pretty rude that he was kind of ordering me not to just be friends with him, as if being friends somehow wasn't enough. He's pretty attractive but there's no way I could be in a relationship with someone who disrespected me like that, even if he was very drunk.

    That said, I'm still not sure if he's just shy/embarassed or is actually being prickish. Obviously I'm not going to gliding so I can see him more/to annoy him, but it would be good if we could sort this out.

    Is it worth being nice to him or might he take that the wrong way? Or should I just ignore him unless I absolutely have to? I don't fancy him, but I can't avoid working with him (mostly in the same group) sometimes and because he's in charge of health and safety it's often really awkward because I have to go and ask everyone else to ask him for advice/what they know about something instead of doing so directly. Also I don't see why he's making such a big deal out of this, I'm not exactly Jessica Alba lol and anyway I don't owe it to him to sleep with him.
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    (Original post by Mastermind007)
    Was the "anon fail" for me? I'm not OP
    Oh right
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    I get what he's doing. When you get rejected by someone, the best thing to do is back off. Maybe not to the extent that he is, but you do drift off a bit. There are so many threads on here where people like people and whatnot and when the feelings are not reciprocated the advice is always to avoid them and try and move on. Also, have you ever heard of absence makes the heart grow fonder? Maybe he is trying that tactic - backing off and pretending like you are not bothered can be damaging for someone's ego, making them want something after all. Perhaps he is trying that. People sometimes don't know what they've got till its gone, so you go to try and make someone see that. Seems to be working as OP is obv thinking about him, to the extent of making a forum post about it.
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    (Original post by Jalk)
    I get what he's doing. When you get rejected by someone, the best thing to do is back off. Maybe not to the extent that he is, but you do drift off a bit. There are so many threads on here where people like people and whatnot and when the feelings are not reciprocated the advice is always to avoid them and try and move on. Also, have you ever heard of absence makes the heart grow fonder? Maybe he is trying that tactic - backing off and pretending like you are not bothered can be damaging for someone's ego, making them want something after all. Perhaps he is trying that. People sometimes don't know what they've got till its gone, so you go to try and make someone see that. Seems to be working as OP is obv thinking about him, to the extent of making a forum post about it.
    I don't see how he can have feelings for me, though? We talked for a couple of hours in a (very loud) bar and shared a few drunken kisses, he barely knew me and still doesn't. All I am is the girl he met one night who didn't sleep with him. Im not even stunningly attractive or anything. That's hardly "rejecting" someone, happens in nightclubs every evening.

    As to why I'm making this thread, obviously I don't miss him or anything but as I have to interact with him (and we're all sharing hostel rooms on the trip to Wales) I can't just forget about him unfortunately and I wanted some advice on how to deal with the situation. If he were anything else but the committee member in charge of health and safety I would simply not have to talk to him at all, as you can see thats not possible.
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    (Original post by Michaelj)
    He's obviously not a nice guy. Just forget about him, don't feel guilty.


    I HAD TO JOIN THIS JUST TO SET YOU GIRLS STRAIGHT!!!

    YOU ARE ALL HORRIBLE!!

    having been friendzoned badly myself (i got to watch the girl i liked for a year, and had been close friends with for 10 years, have sex with someone when she knew how i felt about her).


    HE IS NOT BEING HORRIBLE- the girl obviously doesn't understand- he has obviously developed feelings for you which you can't seem to appreciate- everytime he sees you he will be feeling gutted inside- thats why he can't stand to talk to you- not because he hates you, but because talking to you will remind him of how much he loves you, and then he will go home feeling miserable all over again. be nice- give him some time and space so he can cope with his obvious grief.


    most girls don't seem to understand- boys have real feelings too- i'm sure if someone dumped you, you wouldnt be rushing up to talk to them the next day- you would see them and be remined of how aweful you felt. and thats whats happening to him.
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    You both want different relationships to each other. If he wants a sexual relationship and you don't, don't assume that he is or ever was interested in a platonic relationship. If he doesn't want to be "just friends" then you need to respect that.
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    (Original post by samb0)
    (i got to watch the girl i liked for a year, and had been close friends with for 10 years, have sex with someone when she knew how i felt about her).
    She had sex with someone else when she knew how you felt about her? Wow. How dare she.

    Seriously, what was she supposed to do? Not have a relationship with anyone else, ever, because YOU had feelings for her?

    Men like you need to realise that you don't get to put "dibs" on women - your feelings are YOUR responsibility to deal with, not hers.
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    I don't see why everyone is being so harsh on the guy. He wanted a relationship, and nothing else. He wasn't comfortable in the friendzone. It's a simple as that, he wasn't someone you could friendzone, he either wanted something with you or nothing at all. Good for him.

    Admittedly he doesn't sound like a particularly nice guy, but I can't find any fault in him for sticking to his principles.
 
 
 
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