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Breaking down and not handling it well....... :'( Watch

    • #2

    People can be inconsiderate. I have had my fair share of heartbreak which threw me so off balance so I can totally relate. Added to that, I had work commitments and a lot of things within my life which weren't going well which, even in a normal happy period of my life would have been hard to cope with.

    My work really suffered and I beat myself up about it for about a year with my ex constantly messing me about, knowing I would give in being in such a low mood state. I regret it now. I was always anxious, waiting beside the phone for him to call or if he would turn up etc. It never came or at least when it did, it was normally to benefit him. He even denied ever contacting me when he virtually stalked me for about 4 months. I felt awful and as I said, I understand how you feel.

    But! right now, you want to reconcile (I know I did). He's the greatest thing ever, you will never love like this again etc. I thought all of that and sometimes still do when I am alone and have time to dwell quite frankly out of loneliness but, this is because you feel hurt. Really hurt. Not only have you been rejected by him which is heart breaking, he now acts cold towards you when you had always known him to be so loving. That's hard. However, you have to/need to get through this and you will with the right people's support. Close friends and family are the best as they are the most stable people in your life who love you for, just you really

    I would cut contact and try not to meet up/be friends/texting buddies or anything he suggests or you think is 'best'. 1-2 months when your this hurt, I am sorry to say, will not allow you to move on sufficiently as meeting him can be very nostalgic. Right now, I would talk to staff at your uni for an extension on your work and maybe try the counseling services. Talking about the pain/humiliation/isolation etc and rant if you have to, it could help a lot and your work could provide the necessary distraction you may need. Go out and mix with new people. Find 'you' again. You need time to heal and be at peace with yourself. I can't preach too much as sometimes I have self-doubt, but I have finally got to the stage where a new love would be nice but it wasn't easy at all!

    Good luck. Be strong
    • Community Assistant

    Community Assistant
    If you do contact him again, it will be something you cringe about for many years afterwards. When someone is not interested, you have to accept that.

    Have a search for tips on getting over relationship end grief - from the rude (not thinking about them when you masturbate, and consciously switching fantasy if it happens) to the practical (deleting phone numbers / old emails, setting up the ad blocker on your browser to block their Twitter/Facebook/blog/other pages). It will get better, and at some point you will wonder what the fuss was about.
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Updated: April 11, 2013
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