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Sex before marriage? Watch

  • View Poll Results: Sex before marriage
    Yes
    83.47%
    No
    16.53%

    • #2
    #2

    ... I want to say no, but i can't help but i've been told that i'm super conservative. I think the most important thing is to make sure you love the person. i think a lot of the time as women it is more accepted if she chooses to be celibate until she is married. i certainly will not be giving it up to someone randomly or to someone who i'm not in love with, but honestly whatever happens happens and happens for a reason. but that is just me, i know it isn't for everyone.
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    yess!!!!

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    No. For me anyway. But I obviously have no right to judge other's promiscuity.
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    Sex is just sex.

    I hate how some religions have turned sex into a terrible act. "Lo! You are enjoying yourself!? How dare you! Abominable!!!"

    If done safely with someone you trust, sex is fun and nigh risk-free. It's nothing to get worked up about, but many do.
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    One thing that always amazes me is people who don't believe in sex before marriage.

    Clearly it's sex after marriage that doesn't exist.
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    I'd say yes, due to the fact I'm not a big believer in marriage. I think marriage loses it's magic when your parents divorce - especially when you're young, people don't realise how lucky they are to have parents who are still happily married.
    While I believe in sex before marriage, I don't really believe in sleeping around. I think it's better to be in a relationship. That's just my opinion though, I don't judge.
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    I am "yes" for sex before marriage - but, importantly not because of concerns re: compatibility. I guess it is reassuring to know you have a good sex life before committing, but I can't really understand why this is given as the main reason, when surely the glaring reason is why not have sex before marriage?

    I think lousy sex is generally due to a not knowing one another, lack of teamwork, unwillingness to learn/compromise, selfishness, anxiety/stress - eg: attitude and psychological factors rather than actual unworkable physical incompatibility. Even where a potentially major physical problem exists (eg: disability, erectile dysfunction, stoma, you name it!) - surely a loving couple can overcome and work around it? Psychology, and the connection, attitudes and affection a couple has are more important long term imo. I wouldn't leave my partner if they developed a problem that affected out sex life, we would make adjustments and continue to have a fulfilling sex life. As many people do, as many people have to do (if they don't want to just give up on sex) particularly as they get older. Funny thing to say as a young person, but I think it's what comes of having a medical perspective.

    Rather, I am "yes" not because I need to "test drive" or "shop around" but because I sex is something enjoyable, enriching and intimate in a relationship* and I see absolutely no reason to deprive me or my partner of it. Especially as the nature of sex with a LT partner is for it to improve with time, practice, and a little bit of work (in my experience) - to delay all of that fun just strikes me as a shame. A needless halt to progress as it were! It's different perhaps or individuals who have a reason to delay, and obv I'm not saying sex is the be all and end all. But it is pretty good.

    *and for those outside of a relationship, whilst I don't see the appeal, presumably that is fun and fulfilling (or not) - but totally down to them and I can't see a moral issue (if consensual, protected) in it at all.

    EDIT: Also, while it may be unfair to say so - and I wouldn't assume it of someone (some don't seem to be like this), I have observed caution/horror/disgust/eew it's a bit wrong attitudes toward sexuality coming more from people who seek to impose rules on it (eg: only within marriage) and for those people I think that is a shame. I'm not sure how easy it is for people to let go of those inhibitions once they are actually married either. Imo, you shouldn't make sex a staid, moral affair! Viewing it like that, and only like that is not good imo - whether you are married or not, sex should be erotic, it should be let-loose, it should be disinhibited and unashamed - to be at its best. If you can accomplish that either with or without having sex before marriage you're fine - but if you can't escape a moralistic "it's a bit sordid" view of sex I think that's very unhealthy.
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    Yes if I ever had the opportunity, but I wouldn't really judge people who do wait, it's their own personal decision
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    I'm not so sure tbh. I'm a Muslim, so I'm not supposed to have sex till marriage, but I probably will end up having sex with my current girlfriend soon, as I'm not extremely religious.
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    Yes.
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    No. I don't agree with sex before marriage because Allah has forbidden it.

    I've never heard of anyone who's regreted waiting till marriage, but I have heard of people who regreted not waiting.
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    Nope.

    I'm Muslim

    Abstract

    Social scientists have long been interested in how cultural and structural characteristics shape individuals’ actions. We investigate this relationship by examining how macro- and micro-level religious effects shape individuals’ reports of premarital and extramarital sex. We look at how identifying with one of the major world religions—Islam, Hinduism, Christianity, Buddhism, or Judaism—and living in a nation with a Muslim culture shape the likelihood of sex outside of marriage. Using hierarchical modeling techniques and cross-national data from the Demographic and Health Surveys, we find that ever married Hindus and Muslims are less likely to report having had premarital sex than are ever married Jews and Christians, and an earlier age at marriage does not appear to explain the relationship. Married Muslims are also less likely than affiliates of all other religions, except Buddhists, to report extramarital sex. The percentage Muslim within a nation decreases the odds of reports of premarital sex and this relationship is not explained by restrictions on women’s mobility. These findings contribute to research on religion, culture, policy, and health, as well as our understanding of the macro-micro relationship.

    Religion and Sexual Behaviors
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    Yes - lord knows I may never marry, can't die blue balled virgin now, can we? Hopefully I don't die right now :crosdedf:

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    (Original post by YouGotSerbed)
    I'm not a Christian but I actually think Joshua Harris makes some nice points.


    Taylor: So how old are you?
    Josh: Twenty-three
    Taylor: Are you a virgin?
    Josh: I am a virgin. Virginal with a capital V.
    Taylor: Are you okay?
    Josh: I suppose you’re from the school of thought that says if you don’t have sex you blow up?
    Taylor: Yeah, it happened to my brother… all over the kitchen.
    Crystal: Oh, that’s disgusting! Ha ha…
    Taylor: So what’s going to happen when, let’s say, you get married and you get to the honeymoon suite and she’s lousy in bed?
    Josh: Well, I won’t have anything to compare it to.
    (Pause)
    Crystal: Now that is a good answer!
    Josh: I think part of our problem today is that we’ve reduced sex to some sort of sport. We need manuals and color-coded charts. Instead of being an expression of the intimacy and commitment of a husband and wife, it’s all about performing. I think that’s part of the reason there’s so much sexual dysfunction today — people are terrified that they won’t live up to Hollywood’s definition of the perfect lover.
    Taylor: Yeah, but what if she’s lousy in bed, I mean, she just does everything wrong?
    Josh: That won’t be why I marry her. Do you see the problem with what you’re saying? What happens if you marry someone because they’re great in bed but then one day they aren’t?
    Taylor: Cheat!
    Josh: Well, sadly, that’s what some people do.
    Source:
    http://culturebeware.wordpress.com/2...relationships/
    That reads a bit set up, like she's making spurious points so he looks smarter.

    A much better question would be "why build sex up so much? You can differentiate between sex for love and sex for fun. Even if you need a connection, why marriage? If you
    love and care for someone, there shouldn't be any shame in expressing that physically".

    Edit- if you read the link, he says when you marry someone their body belongs to you, is that view really we want to promote? It wasn't long ago we finally managed to make marital rape illegal.
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    Yes definitely. I've been with my boyfriend 8 years, a woman has needs
    Also because of what I've seen growing up, marriage just doesn't seem all that here. My mother is not married. She was not married to my father when she fell pregnant with me. Growing up I only knew two girls whose parents were still together, now it is weird to know someone whose parents are still together.

    I will (hopefully) marry my partner in 4 years in a beautiful place in Cyprus on May 22 which will be our 12 year 'anniversary'. Ill be damned if it goes back to 0 when we're married though after putting 12 years work in :awesome:
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    Gotta test drive before you buy the car
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    (Original post by Mellowhigh)
    Gotta test drive before you buy the car
    Words of fine gentleman :top2:

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    (Original post by Pigling)
    I am "yes" for sex before marriage - but, importantly not because of concerns re: compatibility. I guess it is reassuring to know you have a good sex life before committing, but I can't really understand why this is given as the main reason, when surely the glaring reason is why not have sex before marriage?

    I think lousy sex is generally due to a not knowing one another, lack of teamwork, unwillingness to learn/compromise, selfishness, anxiety/stress - eg: attitude and psychological factors rather than actual unworkable physical incompatibility. Even where a potentially major physical problem exists (eg: disability, erectile dysfunction, stoma, you name it!) - surely a loving couple can overcome and work around it? Psychology, and the connection, attitudes and affection a couple has are more important long term imo. I wouldn't leave my partner if they developed a problem that affected out sex life, we would make adjustments and continue to have a fulfilling sex life. As many people do, as many people have to do (if they don't want to just give up on sex) particularly as they get older. Funny thing to say as a young person, but I think it's what comes of having a medical perspective.

    Rather, I am "yes" not because I need to "test drive" or "shop around" but because I sex is something enjoyable, enriching and intimate in a relationship* and I see absolutely no reason to deprive me or my partner of it. Especially as the nature of sex with a LT partner is for it to improve with time, practice, and a little bit of work (in my experience) - to delay all of that fun just strikes me as a shame. A needless halt to progress as it were! It's different perhaps or individuals who have a reason to delay, and obv I'm not saying sex is the be all and end all. But it is pretty good.

    *and for those outside of a relationship, whilst I don't see the appeal, presumably that is fun and fulfilling (or not) - but totally down to them and I can't see a moral issue (if consensual, protected) in it at all.

    EDIT: Also, while it may be unfair to say so - and I wouldn't assume it of someone (some don't seem to be like this), I have observed caution/horror/disgust/eew it's a bit wrong attitudes toward sexuality coming more from people who seek to impose rules on it (eg: only within marriage) and for those people I think that is a shame. I'm not sure how easy it is for people to let go of those inhibitions once they are actually married either. Imo, you shouldn't make sex a staid, moral affair! Viewing it like that, and only like that is not good imo - whether you are married or not, sex should be erotic, it should be let-loose, it should be disinhibited and unashamed - to be at its best. If you can accomplish that either with or without having sex before marriage you're fine - but if you can't escape a moralistic "it's a bit sordid" view of sex I think that's very unhealthy.
    Apparently I already gave you positive rep recently so I can't again for this brilliant post.

    I suppose it depends on the individual person and how relationships work best for them, but to me the idea that you must 'try before you buy' (an ugly phrase) or you might suddenly find you are completely incompatible with the person you find to be an amazing match with you, who you already work through everything life throws at you with, is ridiculous. That isn't to say you shouldn't enjoy a sexual relationship, just that I find it bizarre that people believe you must be having sex to be able to know the person or you'll necessarily be taking a much bigger risk than committing to someone you already sleep with.
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    Ive been brought up in a strict roman catholic family my family are all irish and very very strict when it comes to sex before marriage most of my friends are catholic and will not have sex outside of marriage. I too use to have this view and wouldn't have sex with anybody before marriage.

    However when I met my current boyfriend my views on sex changed. I felt that I wanted too and that it was a way to express my love. I didn't jump into bed with him I made him wait a fair amount of time for me sex is not just a physical act its an expression of love. If I didn't love somebody then I wouldn't be giving them my body. But I did love him and having a sexual relationship has brought us a lot closer together its something really special and intimate. Im not saying that if you don't have sex your relationship lacks anything but for my relationship the physical side is something that makes me feel very close to him and its a special bond as were obviously only sleeping with one another.

    So I yes I think sex before marriage is ok. However I do still hold some of the views ive been brought up with, I do sometimes feel guilty for having a physical relationship. I don't believe in sex outside of relationships as I think it always ends in disaster personally. I also like I said wouldn't sleep with anybody I wasn't in love with hence why ive had a fair few boyfriend but only gone beyond kissing with one. I don't slate anybody who has lots of sex with lots of people or anybody who doesn't believe in sex as I think its wrong to shove your views down somebody elses throat but my personal view is that yes sex outside marriage is fine and good but not outside relationships.
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    (Original post by srhc24)
    yes, what if you get married to someone who is rubbish in bed?
    You could teach them?
    To be honest, I think sex is more chemistry and compatibility than just 'skill'.
 
 
 
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