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HELP. I'm meeting a man from a one night stand. So worried! watch

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    Just cancel it. Why on earth would you stay with a man in a hotel when you're this nervous about it, hardly know him and am worried that all he wants is sex (which it is)?
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    Sorry but if he's taking you to a hotel then sounds like he might just want sex. He might really be genuine and looking for a relationship, but I think you should do a bit more investigating, maybe ask for his facebook.
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    (Original post by Bdavies06)
    Okay I'll cut to the chase. I met a lovely man(I think) on a night out a few weeks back who's 9 years my senior. Not that that is an issue. One thing led to another and he stayed with me on that night out. We've been chatting ever since and it's come around that we're going to stay in a hotel together next week and go our for dinner etc( he lives 3 hours away) which I'm quite frankly worried about. I've told him I'm nervous but truth be told I'm worried. He seemed genuine but what if something goes wrong? What if all he wants from me is sex. What if he's forgotten how I looked and won't like it and its going to be an awkward 24hours together! Or... I've forgotten how he looks and am not attracted to him and spend the whole time uncomfortable! If I'm in that position what do I do????
    Ask him about his plans to move permanently to your area. If he hasn't made any, he just wants you for sex.

    Bail out now.
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    It sounds to me like he's interested in casual sex. If it was me in your situation, I would only meet him if I didn't expect anything more than sex. I mean come on, he's meeting you in a HOTEL.
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    (Original post by SloaneRanger)
    Bit mean.... is he asian,LOL
    Lol it's true! Most asian guys do look out for quickie or cheap sex. I mean meeting at the hotel etc... Sounds like he's hiding his family. just mad sure he's not married! They don't always wear wedding rings..


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    (Original post by Am I Really Here)
    He's probably married. Make sure he's not. If he is, stop meeting him and tell his wife.
    Haha "tell his wife" I've never understood this rule between women! When is it that a woman flips the switch from being so hostile and *****y to other women to then being comrades and feeling the drive to help each other out?
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    (Original post by Bdavies06)
    Okay I'll cut to the chase. I met a lovely man(I think) on a night out a few weeks back who's 9 years my senior. Not that that is an issue. One thing led to another and he stayed with me on that night out. We've been chatting ever since and it's come around that we're going to stay in a hotel together next week and go our for dinner etc( he lives 3 hours away) which I'm quite frankly worried about. I've told him I'm nervous but truth be told I'm worried. He seemed genuine but what if something goes wrong? What if all he wants from me is sex. What if he's forgotten how I looked and won't like it and its going to be an awkward 24hours together! Or... I've forgotten how he looks and am not attracted to him and spend the whole time uncomfortable! If I'm in that position what do I do????
    Where abouts is the hotel?

    When I met by better half we lived a long way apart and for our first 3 weekend meetings he booked into a B&B near me so that we could go out

    By the 4th weekend our relationship was such that the B&B became pointless

    It could have been that only one B&B weekend was needed ... or 2 ... who could tell but at least that way we were able to "date" which was good



    Your alternative seems to be a bit all or nothing
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    He just wants you for sex, why else would you meet at a hotel and not a public place?
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    (Original post by Bdavies06)
    Okay I'll cut to the chase. I met a lovely man(I think) on a night out a few weeks back who's 9 years my senior. Not that that is an issue. One thing led to another and he stayed with me on that night out. We've been chatting ever since and it's come around that we're going to stay in a hotel together next week and go our for dinner etc( he lives 3 hours away) which I'm quite frankly worried about. I've told him I'm nervous but truth be told I'm worried. He seemed genuine but what if something goes wrong? What if all he wants from me is sex. What if he's forgotten how I looked and won't like it and its going to be an awkward 24hours together! Or... I've forgotten how he looks and am not attracted to him and spend the whole time uncomfortable! If I'm in that position what do I do????

    If it's not an issue, why mention it?
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    (Original post by Bdavies06)
    Okay I'll cut to the chase. I met a lovely man(I think) on a night out a few weeks back who's 9 years my senior. Not that that is an issue. One thing led to another and he stayed with me on that night out. We've been chatting ever since and it's come around that we're going to stay in a hotel together next week and go our for dinner etc( he lives 3 hours away) which I'm quite frankly worried about. I've told him I'm nervous but truth be told I'm worried. He seemed genuine but what if something goes wrong? What if all he wants from me is sex. What if he's forgotten how I looked and won't like it and its going to be an awkward 24hours together! Or... I've forgotten how he looks and am not attracted to him and spend the whole time uncomfortable! If I'm in that position what do I do????
    He is 9 years older than you and you are meeting up in a hotel after a ONS? I'd be very surprised if he wanted anything more than sex.
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    (Original post by lmallan)
    What degree is this then? A BA Hons in Sexual Encounters?! Key words in your sentence: 'one night stand'. In other words that means "no emotional strings attached".
    The fastest way of finding out if this 'man' has genuine feelings for you is to ask him to wait... @ least for a couple of weeks. 9 times out of 10 they'll lose interest; if (for him), waiting is not an option then you know what he's really after.
    Every successful & self-respecting man & woman puts boundaries in place. We are then shaped by these boundaries; we gain self-respect & the respect of others.
    Don't abuse or use your body hun; live by the middle age conventions with a modern twist! Give yourself only to those you feel something for.
    Take it from me, when you do meet the love of your life you'll wish you had waited.
    I made the mistake of thinking sex was a way of increasing my popularity & reputation?! My reason? Everyone else was @ it so why not me?
    I'll tell you why! Without knowing it, I was abusing my body and allowing others to do the same. I gave away the most precious thing I had (my virginity) to a drunken stranger on a one night stand & I can never get that back... but, who am I to judge?! I'm no saint. I've made mistakes: plenty of them too! So all I can offer you is my own experiences, actions and behaviors, my reasonings & my regrets.
    Save yourself for someone who doesn't just lust after your body; save yourself for someone who truly respects & loves you.
    I apologise for my slightly aged approach to your question but if my daughter asked this question online, I like to think that someone would do the same for her. :-)

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    There's nothing degrading about one night stands as long as both are you are on the level, it can actually be quite rewarding.

    You certainly aren't losing anything, if you're current relationship isn't as good as you expected it to be, then that's a separate issue, and has nothing to do with how you lost your v plates, frankly.
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    (Original post by Bdavies06)
    Okay I'll cut to the chase. I met a lovely man(I think) on a night out a few weeks back who's 9 years my senior. Not that that is an issue. One thing led to another and he stayed with me on that night out. We've been chatting ever since and it's come around that we're going to stay in a hotel together next week and go our for dinner etc( he lives 3 hours away) which I'm quite frankly worried about. I've told him I'm nervous but truth be told I'm worried. He seemed genuine but what if something goes wrong? What if all he wants from me is sex. What if he's forgotten how I looked and won't like it and its going to be an awkward 24hours together! Or... I've forgotten how he looks and am not attracted to him and spend the whole time uncomfortable! If I'm in that position what do I do????
    please be careful because what might seem like a genuine blossoming relationship, might actually be a way to sleep with a younger girl.

    I might be stereotyping here but the fact that he is nearly a decade older creeps the crap out of me.

    he might be nice on the other hand but just look after yourself and if you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable at any time then make a sharp exit. Jjust say you have a family emergency or something
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    (Original post by Bdavies06)
    Okay I'll cut to the chase. I met a lovely man(I think) on a night out a few weeks back who's 9 years my senior. Not that that is an issue. One thing led to another and he stayed with me on that night out. We've been chatting ever since and it's come around that we're going to stay in a hotel together next week and go our for dinner etc( he lives 3 hours away) which I'm quite frankly worried about. I've told him I'm nervous but truth be told I'm worried. He seemed genuine but what if something goes wrong? What if all he wants from me is sex. What if he's forgotten how I looked and won't like it and its going to be an awkward 24hours together! Or... I've forgotten how he looks and am not attracted to him and spend the whole time uncomfortable! If I'm in that position what do I do????
    That is the only thing you needed to say. And yes, that is probably true.
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    Simple solution for one problem, ask to meet at a coffee shop with a table by a window and look at him from afar. If you don't like him, say you can't make it or somthing.
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    Hahahaa, I bet it's gonna be a 50 year old banker or something


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    Well, this went off at a bit of a tangent!

    OP I think 9 years could be a big gap depending on your age, without knowing that I wouldn't know what to think of the age gap. Age doesn't bother me (there's 11 years between me and my boyfriend, 20 years between my parents and 13 between my grandparents) but for example and 11 year old with a 20 year old would be wrong whereas a 40 year old and a 31 year old isn't an issue if you get me.

    It sounds like the tone could have been set for the relationship after you slept with him and the distance doesn't work in your favour. In the guys defense though he could have picked a hotel as a more mutual place to meet, I find going to a guys house intimidating when I don't know them that well and find hotels more comfortable. He might live in a horrible house or a shared house and want privacy.

    I'd ask the guy straight what his intentions are, they don't seem to take offense and I find they're generally honest for the sake of ease; it seems to fit with guy logic! If he wants to relationship then he won't mind if you don't want to just have sex again and if it is just sex he'll be glad not to have some girl trying to make it into relationship when he isn't interested. If you're not comfortable though then don't go and if he does care then he can come to you instead.
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    Ain't no man travelling 3hours for a chick unless being balls deep in pussy ain't the end result
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    OP, I think if you guys stay in the hotel together, sex is likely. You've already gone to that level and, even if he is genuine, the urge will probably be there (for both of you) and if it happens, you'll likely feel horrible. I would suggest the dinner and then you go home alone. If he's genuine, he'll want to meet up again

    You've done nothing wrong by having a ONS, just protect yourself from hurt now. Tread carefully.

    GL hun!
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    (Original post by HopefulMidwife)
    OP, I think if you guys stay in the hotel together, sex is likely. You've already gone to that level and, even if he is genuine, the urge will probably be there (for both of you) and if it happens, you'll likely feel horrible. I would suggest the dinner and then you go home alone. If he's genuine, he'll want to meet up again

    You've done nothing wrong by having a ONS, just protect yourself from hurt now. Tread carefully.

    GL hun!
    Thank you for the re-assurance!! I'm working myself up and becoming more worried about this! I'm just going to ask him straight what his intentions are and suggest just meeting for dinner and then maybe he stays in the hotel and I head home. Even though he has travelled 4 hours to get there. Men...so stressful!
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    (Original post by Bdavies06)
    Thank you for the re-assurance!! I'm working myself up and becoming more worried about this! I'm just going to ask him straight what his intentions are and suggest just meeting for dinner and then maybe he stays in the hotel and I head home. Even though he has travelled 4 hours to get there. Men...so stressful!
    Yeah probably worth asking what his intentions are, but don't do anything you are not comfortable with.

    Just on another note can we keep the posts on topic please
 
 
 
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