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Do you think your parents will contribute towards your wedding? How much? watch

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    I don't think they will contribute anything but will pay for my sisters'. They got from somewhere that the brides father is supposed to pay for the wedding. They would be involved in organising and choosing guests if they paid though.
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    I can imagine my dad's response if I asked him to pay for my wedding: "hell no, if you want to get married then you can pay for it."

    I've been thinking about it a lot recently as I'm pretty sure my bf will propose soon (we've been together 5 years and I'm about to graduate) and while I would love to save up for a big wedding, I'd rather have a place to live in first so will be saving for a deposit before anything else!
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    (Original post by *cellardoor*)
    Hi I'm new so not sure if this is in the right place :/

    My boyfriend and I started hypothetically talking about getting engaged, marriage and weddings. I said I'd like a close and intimate wedding, and that way it would keep the costs down too. He explained that because all his grandparents had remarried and there were also steprelatives his families politics were very complicated and leaving anyone out would start a family war. We worked out how people this was, around 50. I worked out my family members are about 30 but probably not everyone will come as some live abroad. So if we just have 10 friends each, and that doesn't include their partners (or some partners and less friends) that will already be a 100
    people. Plus at my sisters wedding my parents invited 5 couples of their closest friends and I don't want to upset them, if his parents are the same that's 120 people to invite.

    I read somewhere that the average UK wedding is now £21,000 :O I worked out if 100 people came, and I skimped on a lot of stuff we could probably do it for £11,000 but no honeymoon lol. I am probably silly for worrying about this when we aren't even engaged, but if it's going to cost this much then it's better to start saving ahead.

    However, I don't know if we will foot the whole bill. Do you think your parents will help out? What about your future husband's parents?. It would be interesting if any engaged/married people on here could share what happened with their finances for the wedding. I also would like to know what people's views are in general Also, if parents contribute financially, are there usually strings attached? It would also be interesting to know if people plan on saving for a house deposit or a wedding first?


    We looked at how much we could afford
    We decided who we wanted to invite

    Then we planned a wedding that allowed the latter without causing a problem with the former

    Everything was booked and my parents made an offer to contribute ... this was nice as it meant we could afford a honeymoon



    As for strings attached ... I don't know ... my parents did not ask for anything in exchange




    Modern times pretty much dictates that a couple should expect to pay for their own wedding imo
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    I can't really imagine my parents paying for a wedding. Despite being well off, they're kind of cheap. They also consider most 'experiences' (non-investments) to be a waste of money.
    A big wedding is not so important to me, I don't think I want it to be an enormous affair which is very formal with everybody staring at me. I do want an amazing dress though and good food. Honeymoon is more important.
    Whether my future husbands parents would contribute, I have no idea. I am guessing so, most guys I've dated have received a lot of funding from their parents.
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    I don't think I'd feel comfortable having someone else paying for it. I'd rather use my own money and not feel guilty if I felt like splashing out on parts of it. Me and my boyfriend will be having our own house and kids first though! A wedding isn't all that important to us, but it'd be nice to when we can afford it.
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    I come from a traditional Irish Catholic home where the groom's family paying for anything would be a disgrace on my family. I'm sure I'll have no say in it, it will be fairly small (around 100 guests) in my local church but it will be lovely.

    My Gran put 10 grand towards my cousin's weddings because her dad had died so i'm sure she'll do the same for mine. Plus, i'm the youngest and the favourite (she openly admits it) so I'm guessing she'll put more towards it. On the down side I'll have very little say but I don't mind. My sister wanted a cupcake wedding cakebut she wasn't allowed one. She also wanted her husbands nieceto be brides maid but my Mum said no as she wanted me to be the youngest bridesmaid.

    If I married a man of another religion and I wanted to get married in his place of worship they wouldn't have nothing to do with it and that includes turning up or paying for it. Pros and Cons I guess
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    My mum said she'd pay for my wedding dress, i wouldn't expect her to though because i should be making more money than them by the time i get married.
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    Shared between the 2 families 70-30 as the woman's family should pay more
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    I come from a traditional Irish Catholic home where the groom's family paying for anything would be a disgrace on my family. I'm sure I'll have no say in it, it will be fairly small (around 100 guests) in my local church but it will be lovely.

    My Gran put 10 grand towards my cousin's weddings because her dad had died so i'm sure she'll do the same for mine. Plus, i'm the youngest and the favourite (she openly admits it) so I'm guessing she'll put more towards it. On the down side I'll have very little say but I don't mind. My sister wanted a cupcake wedding cakebut she wasn't allowed one. She also wanted her husbands nieceto be brides maid but my Mum said no as she wanted me to be the youngest bridesmaid.

    If I married a man of another religion and I wanted to get married in his place of worship they wouldn't have nothing to do with it and that includes turning up or paying for it. Pros and Cons I guess
    Wow that's so pretty! And practical, a lot less mess handing someone a cupcake than slicing cake into lots of pieces! Haha I totally understand that. I remember being all excited when my sister had a boyfriend over when I was little and my mum muttering under her breath, unless he's jewish I'm not paying for the wedding!
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    Also, if your grandparents payed for your parents wedding - do you think that makes it more likely they'll contribute to yours? Or do you reckon times have changed that much?
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    (Original post by College_Dropout)
    The average price of a wedding is somewhere around £10,500 not £21,000. I dont think I will be paying much towards my wedding, Indian weddings can cost in excess of £100,000 split between both familys, my family would be footing around 30-40k and the brides family footing around 60-70k.
    I'm really curious... How exactly is it possible for a wedding to cost so much?!?
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    (Original post by *cellardoor*)
    Hi I'm new so not sure if this is in the right place :/

    My boyfriend and I started hypothetically talking about getting engaged, marriage and weddings. I said I'd like a close and intimate wedding, and that way it would keep the costs down too. He explained that because all his grandparents had remarried and there were also steprelatives his families politics were very complicated and leaving anyone out would start a family war. We worked out how people this was, around 50. I worked out my family members are about 30 but probably not everyone will come as some live abroad. So if we just have 10 friends each, and that doesn't include their partners (or some partners and less friends) that will already be a 100
    people. Plus at my sisters wedding my parents invited 5 couples of their closest friends and I don't want to upset them, if his parents are the same that's 120 people to invite.

    I read somewhere that the average UK wedding is now £21,000 :O I worked out if 100 people came, and I skimped on a lot of stuff we could probably do it for £11,000 but no honeymoon lol. I am probably silly for worrying about this when we aren't even engaged, but if it's going to cost this much then it's better to start saving ahead.

    However, I don't know if we will foot the whole bill. Do you think your parents will help out? What about your future husband's parents?. It would be interesting if any engaged/married people on here could share what happened with their finances for the wedding. I also would like to know what people's views are in general Also, if parents contribute financially, are there usually strings attached? It would also be interesting to know if people plan on saving for a house deposit or a wedding first?
    If I marry who they choose, they will fund my whole wedding but it would be cheap. I'm thinking $10,000 - $15,000.

    Since that isn't happening, I'll be funding everything myself. I might not even have a wedding, but if I do then I'll spend $10,000 - $15,000.
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    (Original post by Lumos)
    I'm really curious... How exactly is it possible for a wedding to cost so much?!?
    He must be Greek or Italian.
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    I come from a traditional Irish Catholic home where the groom's family paying for anything would be a disgrace on my family.
    I find that odd since in my culture it's the other way around, the groom and his family are meant to pay for everything
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    (Original post by Lumos)
    I'm really curious... How exactly is it possible for a wedding to cost so much?!?
    Well I looked at 10 venues in my area:

    In peak season (like april to sepetember) the cheapeast packages are generally 100 pounds a head. A package will generally include, venue hire, catering, some decorations, a little alcohol, and a room for the bride and groom to stay. Summer is the most popular season, so a bride who has a 120 person wedding in summer, will spend 12,000 pounds on that. Then photographers generally start getting decent at the 1k mark. Then there's enternainment, a band/dj and other things to amuse guests e.g a powerpoint or chinese lanterns. The wedding dress, bridemaids outfits, groom and groomsmen outfits, wedding cake.. Oh and it's easy to apparently spend thousands of pounds on flowers.

    Plus another big expense is if you have the free bar. Additionally, if you want a church wedding etc, there's more cost for a seperate venue, then transport from one venue to the other (usually in a fancy big car so the bride doesn't get her dress ruined). Then there are things like a hairdresser for the bride. Last but not least, wedding rings - these are something that last forever so a lot of couples will spend a lot. Even printing card companies make money out of weddings by charging a bomb for wedding invites. I can see how it would easily reach over 20k.

    My 11k budget was doing a wedding
    - in an off peak time/ getting a last minute date.
    - Having the ceremony and reception in one place. Spending a minimum on flowers etc
    - Either seeing if the venue would let me bring my own caterers or not having an open bar.
    - Only feeding guests once (having the ceremony quite late) and having a buffet instead of a 3 course meal.
    - minimum flowers
    - bridesmaids by their own shoes and accesories if not dresses
    - paying a good photographer for a small period of time and then relying on family and friends to capture the rest of the evening
    - homemade wedding invites
    Some venues will charge atleast 18 pounds for a bottle of alcohol, and have over 10 pound a bottle corkage fee if you decide to bring your own!

    Oh and if you are asking about Indian weddings, I think that's because in their culture the festivities aren't restricted to one day like they are in england
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    (Original post by Lumos)
    I'm really curious... How exactly is it possible for a wedding to cost so much?!?
    Venues
    -Wedding day venue (800+ people, ive been to weddings with 1200)
    -Brides pre wedding party (from 100-300 people)
    -Grooms pre wedding party(from 100-300 people)
    These are fairly large halls, not just the local pub.

    DJ + entertainment
    -Wedding day
    -Both pre wedding partys
    -Sometimes at house party leading upto the wedding
    -Live entertainment- some top indian singers can take from 5-10k for a couple of hours performance

    Food + drink
    -Food for people at the pre wedding partys - Starter, main and desert (total upto 600 people
    -Food for wedding day, 1200 people and again starter main desert
    -Drinks, soft drinks and water on every table, say about 40 tables per pre wedding party so say 80 altogether, out of these 40 tables will require alcohol = 1 bottle of the following on 40 tables- Vodka, whisky + rum. This isnt some cheap stuff, ie minimum vodka brand would be smirnoff, ive been to weddings were they have grey goose on every table. + beer running on the tap for the night.
    -Same as the above for the wedding day party, obviously more to accommodate for extra tables and people

    Videos and photography
    - Videos and photography is done by both sides of the family, this can cost upto 6k per family so totaling about 12k.

    In addition to all of this
    +gold is given as a gift, im talking large sets of very expensive gold, not just the odd ring
    +clothes given as gifts
    +honey moon
    +Dress and jewelry for bride
    +Grooms clothes

    Im sure ive missed quite a lot out. Indian weddings are basically a competition about who spends the most money on a wedding, very stupid but it still happens.
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    Dunno cos I'll never get married.
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    God the amount of people white people invite to weddings seems tiny in comparison to bengali weddings lol. less than 200 is classed as small in our culture :p:
    I've been to one where there was I think 1200 people!
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    (Original post by College_Dropout)

    Im sure ive missed quite a lot out. Indian weddings are basically a competition about who spends the most money on a wedding, very stupid but it still happens.
    You forgot the furniture and stuff that is bought for when the bride comes to stay in grooms house. Unless thats just a bengali thing.

    I'm from a bengali culture, the budgets aren't that huge in the ones I've been to, I'd say its about 30k most of them? I've been to bigger and more lavish ones where the budget must have been 60k :eek2:
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    I think my Mum would help with planning the wedding, not as in dictating what I should or shouldn't have but offering suggestions and asking what I like etc. Then instead of offering money she'd say "me and your dad will pay for that" to some of the stuff up to the amount she'd be happy to offer. I can't see her putting any rules on the wedding, though if she didn't like something I was doing she obviously wouldn't offer to pay for that and if I was wanting expensive things then she'd offer to pay for less things meaning me and my partner would have to cover more of the cost ourselves.

    No idea how much they'd contribute or if/how my partner's parents would and I'm a long way off discussing it with my current boyfriend if we do.
 
 
 
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