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    (Original post by Steevee)
    Or based on the issue and his user name he's not posting from his main account?

    Do you find it hard to believe that there are people that want to leave Islam?
    That is precisely what I've done. My parents know my email address and I can't let them see this post.


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    (Original post by elise31)
    The best piece of advice I can give you is to not use the word "atheist"- to me it is a very strong and definitive term that will probably upset your parents having brought you up in a home of faith. Maybe just gently tell them that you're not sure what to believe and would like some time to make up your own mind- they're much more likely to accept this and will respect you for being so honest. And definitely talk to your friends about it- even if it's just one or two people. They may be going through the same thing.
    But I'm afraid they'd force me to pray, in hope that I'd become a Muslim again. As I've said, they're pretty naive.


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    (Original post by ashleighgiles)
    I have the same problem. I haven't told them though, but my dad found out and he's fine. Mum would be hysterical, since she's a devout Catholic.
    If you really need to tell someone, then tell them. They are your parents after all. If they don't agree, then they should at least try to understand your decisions. Belief is not something that should be forced on you.
    If you're unsure, then wait for a bit, when it seems most comfortable.
    Good luck though!
    I've kind of though of an idea? But I'm not sure...shall I "accidentally" leave some trace of this discussion on the iPad for my mum (more forgiving, but can be just as extreme, need the right moment) to see?

    It sounds childish, but I don't know how to tell them.

    How did you tell your dad? Did he tell your mum straight away? Does she even know?


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    (Original post by arisutan)
    Don't be afraid of who you are! You should definitely tell them.
    It's all about pride and consequences I'm worried about.


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    (Original post by Crumpet1)
    Sometimes silence is the most political course of action. You don't have to tell them you're either religious or atheist, can't you just say nothing at all? That would be the surest way of them just continuing to treat you the way they treat you now.
    But my issue is that during Ramadan- know I sound SO wrong - but I don't want to go and pray at night, all night, and fast. (no, that is not my reason for converting. I just can't get it into my head that there is some omnipotent being up in the sky.)


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    (Original post by Steevee)
    Well yeah, you're a Muslim. But I can tell you there are plenty of people who leave Islam Don't assume they're a troll or have a subvertive agenda just because of your own bias
    *high five*?


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    Tell them. My mum used to think I was just a lazy believer too, but she slowly, and I mean SLOWLY, came around to the fact.

    And your friends... do you want them to be friends with you or their ideal of you? Dude, trust me, friends come and go all the time. It's just how life works. While they're coming in and out of your life, you might as well be honest so the next batch work for you just fine.
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    (Original post by TryingToBeAnon)
    I've kind of though of an idea? But I'm not sure...shall I "accidentally" leave some trace of this discussion on the iPad for my mum (more forgiving, but can be just as extreme, need the right moment) to see?

    It sounds childish, but I don't know how to tell them.

    How did you tell your dad? Did he tell your mum straight away? Does she even know?


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    You could try leaving neutral hints while she's in a good mood, or you could talk about belief in a good way (so she would still keep her composure)
    I didn't exactly tell my dad. He noticed that I started taking less notice of religious activities in the family and asked what I was thinking about. I just told him I couldn't do it any more for my own reasons.
    He hasn't told my mum directly, knowing how enraged she could be. He gave her a hint once, about going to church and stuff, and she got into a fight with him and me. Its either she's really slow or she's in denial

    (Original post by March)
    Tell them. My mum used to think I was just a lazy believer too, but she slowly, and I mean SLOWLY, came around to the fact.

    And your friends... do you want them to be friends with you or their ideal of you? Dude, trust me, friends come and go all the time. It's just how life works. While they're coming in and out of your life, you might as well be honest so the next batch work for you just fine.
    I can totally relate to that. My mum still hasn't realised despite dad trying to give hints to her. My friends in highschool scowled at me for being an Atheist, especially during religious mass (my school was transitioning from being multi-cultural to Catholic). My university friends found it cool though, they don't mind, and I don't mind their beliefs - since quite a number are from the minority.

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    *update* sorry I've not been on in ages.

    So about 2 weeks after this I told my best friend I'm an atheist, who's a Muslim, a he took it well. None of my other friends know as it'd just feel weird.

    About 2 weeks ago I told my mum when she was in a good mood and she said she was shocked but okay. I then said I might buy an unhalal chicken salad from school to which she got annoyed at. And then a couple of days ago she said she still believed I was a Muslim and said i was confused and that she also wanted me to fast. I'm confused as to whether or not she's being naive.

    And one final confusing part, I might have given a very strong hint to my dad that I was an atheist, but I'm not sure if it was a dream (been ill) how would I go about reaffirming this?


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    Is it possible that your mum has discussed it with your Dad? In which case, perhaps you don't need to do anything!

    In terms of fasting and eating non-halal foods, I have friends who consider themselves 'culturally Muslim' (and another 'culturally Jewish') whilst being atheists. They still fast and won't eat non-halal/kosher food. There's no harm in doing these things if it makes your parents happy, and I wouldn't consider it an expression of faith any more than if any non-Muslim ate halal food. By all means, go ahead and eat whatever you want in your own time, but at home I would stick to what your parents find acceptable - same if your parents were vegetarians - to keep the peace and respect their wishes.

    I understand you not wanting to pray, though, as that is clearly an expression of a faith you don't believe in. If I were you, I would probably just observe rather than joining in.
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    Thanks for that Laura.

    *Update*

    On Wednesday I told my father that I was an atheist in the car, as its a place where things are usually calm. He said "you've broken my heart" and then we proceeded to argue because he says that I'm going to hell, which I say I don't believe in so it's okay. He then went against one of the few wishes I asked of him which was to leave me as I was...he said he was going to do what he could to make me a Muslim.

    Just now, my mum (a sudden change, possibly forced by dad, or maybe she's always thought this) and I argued because she said she wanted me to fast and pray, which I didn't want to do because 1) I don't believe in fasting for Islam 2) It's unbelievably bad weather to fast. We've argued and she said she doesn't want to be my mum (I suspect just words, not meaningful), she's also going to force me to fast? Take away my pocket money and she said if I ever dare to eat "disgraceful" unhalal food she'll kick me out.

    What to do...?

    Also, my dad and I are very distant as he's done some bad things in the family but father I told him he's become close to me, raining me from work, running to open the front door etc...What could this be?
    To be honest, I think he's pushed my mum against me but I'm not sure...


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    This is what annoys me about some atheists, they act like the religious by feeling the need to go and stir up others, if they're not forcing it upon you then keep it to yourself.

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    I'm not really sure about this whole business of telling people stuff. It makes it into a bigger deal than it needs to be. If anyone asks, let them know - but undertaking to specifically "come out" as being this or that or the other is a bit unnecessary in most cases.
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    (Original post by TryingToBeAnon)
    I know there's many post sabout this but i guess every case is different and should be treated differently, so here's mine:

    I'm an atheist but I have not told my parents yet. They're Muslims. I'm nearly 16 so definitely cannot move out and I doubt my parents would kick me out if I told them I was an Atheist. But I can't seem to find the courage to tell them. I don't know what they'll do to me. They're not really religious until Ramadan time or until something bad happens in the family.
    They've never beaten me but I'm not sure if things will change if I tell them. I just don't want them forcing me to go to the mosque and pray for something I don't believe in or treating me differently to how they treat me now.


    This is going to sound really selfish, but I know my brother is an Atheist and he has persistently told them he is but they're too naive to believe it. They constantly say he's "too lazy and just doesn't want to pray." So I'm not sure if they'll be like that to me. (They may treat me differently as I'm very serious about things like this.)
    The selfish part is I try to persuade my mother to accept him whenever we have 1-1 conversations (in hope that she'll accept me.) but she always comes out with "it's just a phase..." "He just doesn't want to pray..."


    There's also the problem of other people knowing, I've not told any of my friends as simple secrets I tell them always get let out and I couldn't deal with everyone knowing I'm not a Muslim anymore. (most of my friends are.)
    Also, my closest auntie isn't exactly a fan of converts (I know...) so I don't want things to turn sour with her. But do you think she'll understand and change if she knew I was one?


    Should I tell anyone?
    The 2 quotes above are words of wisdom, you're 16 a dependent. Don't do something stupid you'll regret.
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    (Original post by NB_ide)
    I'm not really sure about this whole business of telling people stuff. It makes it into a bigger deal than it needs to be. If anyone asks, let them know - but undertaking to specifically "come out" as being this or that or the other is a bit unnecessary in most cases.
    It's my parents...I feel they have a right to know since they rely on me to pray for them and the family...


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    (Original post by otester)
    This is what annoys me about some atheists, they act like the religious by feeling the need to go and stir up others, if they're not forcing it upon you then keep it to yourself.

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    So you don't think forcing me to fast for 17 hours, being sent to Taraweeh, reading the Quran and praying isn't bad enough?

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    (Original post by otester)
    This is what annoys me about some atheists, they act like the religious by feeling the need to go and stir up others, if they're not forcing it upon you then keep it to yourself.

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    It's the religious parents here that are causing the problem.
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    (Original post by james22)
    It's the religious parents here that are causing the problem.
    Or those who just can't face facts.


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    I'm not sure what to suggest, the only thing I can think of is to say to them that you respect their religion and their beliefs, and you don't want to pray for something you don't believe in, because it makes a mockery of that belief.

    However, it seems your parents are pretty determined, so that may not go down too well. It's getting to the point now where it's really affecting your relationship with them and they're trying to get you to do things you're not comfortable with doing. I'd speak to some sort of advisor/counsellor, perhaps ChildLine? They would probably be able to give you better advice than what you'll find on here, as they may well have heard similar scenarios before.

    At the end of the day, if they leave you with no other option, the only thing you can really do is go through the motions until you can leave home. It may not be something you agree with, but at least it'll be a quiet life. I wouldn't want to do that either in your position, but it does seem your parents are doing their best to back you into a corner.
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    (Original post by TryingToBeAnon)
    That is precisely what I've done. My parents know my email address and I can't let them see this post.


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    There is an anonymous function on here, if you use it, then no one can see your username or who you are.
 
 
 
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