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18 and getting kicked out because i'm going to Thailand. Watch

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    Most of the sex trade there is utilized by foreign tourists anyway so I really don't think this is gonna end up like Taken.
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    I'm going Bangkok by myself. When are you going? Look at the foreign office uk for advice on areas to avoid.

    Common sense really, don't get super drunk and walk down alleyways.

    Ignore the people saying your mum supports you bla, you're 19 years old, not a kid, it's your life and you're an adult. Thailand is only dangerous if you do stupid things. Even the UK can be dangerous.

    If you wanna talk about Bangkok, feel free to message me.
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    Could your best friend's mum speak to her? Presumably she must have the same concerns but has managed to get over them?
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    whatever you do do not show her Taken. You will not be allowed out to the shop nevermind Bangkok.

    But really though she has a point, bangkok is still high in crimes but if you have your wits about you and don't try to smuggle drugs into the country you should be fine.
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    I've been to Thailand. Where I was, I think it was even more safe than England. Thai people are conservative and shy. I would probably be more likely to get attacked or abused or anything like that in England with all the chavs etc here. Bangkok is a little worse than where I spent most of my time but still isn't anything like a warzone at all. You won't be kidnapped, won't be selled into the sex trade, and you won't be on drugs unless you choose to (so easy to avoid).

    I think your mum either doesn't have much knowledge of the country or she is using that as an excuse because it is actually too expensive.
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    (Original post by Lukev)
    I'm sorry to play the fuddyduddy, but while you sleep under her roof you live by her rules.
    And I suppose that applies to countries too?

    In which case, you would think it impossible not to stand up to beligerent laws!
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    As the title says. We usually get on alright- we're not best of friends and I do try to avoid my Mum usually as she's quite backwards with the times (she's in her late 50's).

    Basically, I've booked a ticket to Bangkok with my best friend for 5 weeks, we hope to do some travelling.

    She's kicked off! Massively! She's said things like "Do you really expect to come home from a country like that?!" and "Are you really that selfish to want to go somewhere like that?!" She reckons i'm going to be kidnapped, sold into the sex trade and going to be on drugs.

    She said that she would be pretty angry if I went to Spain for a week with a friend let alone Asia. She wants me to cancel my ticket which I refuse (i've spent £600 on it!) plus I really want to go.

    I'll be 19 once I go and i've got 3 months before I go to university. I'm going to be a Geography student so wanting to travel is in my blood.

    She reckons if she kicks me out now i'll have to spend all my money up so i'll have nothing to take with me. But, I will have enough to support myself now and for my trip but i'll have nothing for university.

    So A) Is there a way to persuade her that Southeast Asia is okay? Is there a website with the amount of murders/crimes in this area? (I really wanted to go to India/Sri Lanka but that's too dangerous)

    B) Is there anyway that school can help me find accommodation? Any form of benefits that can help me pay for things like food/accommodation? I understand that I won't get a flat but a room would do me. (I've got no friends I could live with atm, they could put me up for a couple of days max)

    Blimey, this is a mess. I've been to America on my own and i've stayed in Barcelona in a hostel before; I know it's not the same but I am quite mature! I have my wits about me, i'm not stupid.
    Has you're Mum just watched the film 'Taken'? Joking aside, Thailand does have a bad reputation with regards to drugs, assaults on Westerners and general vice. Also, if you are pro-animal rights, you may want to give Thailand a wide berth. I went over in 2007, and some parts on Thailand were grim, however some parts are beautiful, and the locals are great people. All countries have dodgy areas and good areas. As far as drugs go, you really do have to be stupid to get involved with drugs in Thailand. possession alone can get you banged up for 5 years upwards and drug trafficking? Death Penalty by hanging or firing squad.
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    Ever watched the Hangover?
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    (Original post by Melthusa)
    And I suppose that applies to countries too?

    In which case, you would think it impossible not to stand up to beligerent laws!
    Really?!?:rolleyes:
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    I would try to get a job and save up some money, then between thailand and uni, you can look for a room to rent in a house. I dont know about other areas but at lowest they are around 300 per month in mine, if you get a job when you come back then you will be able to fund your food and stuff.

    Look for shops like primark, new look etc which will let you work weekends and dont need experience, when you come back cleaning is a good option because it pays so well and you will be able to fit other things in around it as its often early morning, (you also dont need experience or often even an interview), Look at waitressing jobs for after school and evening work too.

    I would definatly go, it will be amazing, if you're sensible and stay safe then you should be fine. An amazing opportunity!
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    I really dunno how I'd deal with an unreasonable mother like this. Parenting shouldn't mean controlling the lives of your children, it should be guiding them to protect them and help them avoid making mistakes, but ultimately letting you lead your own life. If she's always been like this and you can't reason with her, I guess being kinda unreasonable would be your best option. Fight fire with fire, so to speak.

    Tell her that if she forces you to move out, you'll work as an escort to earn money to stay afloat so you can still afford to go to Bangkok. She'll love that. (This would be a big bluff, although if you would be prepared to do it for your trip, that helps too.) She needs to understand how seriously important this trip is to you. She also needs to realise that you're an adult now and you can look after yourself. You've planned to go with a friend and would never be walking around Thailand by yourself, you deserve some credit.

    You could also say that as your mum's insistence moving out means you'll have far less money, you looked at somewhere else to go. The airline wouldn't let you cancel but they allowed you to change your ticket for a new destination, and that you're going to Juarez, Mexico because you can stay with the drug cartels for free.
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    So A) Is there a way to persuade her that Southeast Asia is okay? Is there a website with the amount of murders/crimes in this area? (I really wanted to go to India/Sri Lanka but that's too dangerous)
    You could do, though it may not reassure her!

    The stats over just how common it is to go to Thailand now may make better reading. Showing that you have detailed plans including things like where the embassy is, what travel insurance you're getting etc would probably count for you too.

    Certainly from her perspective, kicking you out to live in a **** rented place in a dodgy part of town for half the year is far more dangerous than 5 weeks spent sensibly in Thailand.
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    It is not like you are going to the US-Mexican Border where all the Drug cartels are lurking, or the DMZ in Korea, or North Korea for that fact!
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    *******s that.

    Makes me appreciate having parents who like travelling.

    Honestly, Thailand isn't that bad if you're careful. Take care with documents and what you ingest, who you talk to etc.
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    (Original post by Michaelj)
    Ignore the people saying your mum supports you bla, you're 19 years old, not a kid, it's your life and you're an adult. Thailand is only dangerous if you do stupid things. Even the UK can be dangerous..
    Yeah it's her life and she can do what she wants but she will have to face the consequences of that - she seems rather reliant on her mum housing her, if she won't any more then that's something she'll have to weigh up in the balance of whether going to Thailand's a good plan or not.

    (Original post by Melthusa)
    And I suppose that applies to countries too?

    In which case, you would think it impossible not to stand up to beligerent laws!
    Standing up to laws by protesting, writing to MPs, organising petitions = standing up to mum by discussing problems etc.

    Standing up to laws by breaking them in front of the police = unilaterally declaring a month in Thailand.
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    I lived in Thailand for 4 years and I always felt reasonably safe. Heck, I used to travel around Bangkok alone quite often at the age of 15. Though to be fair at that age I was taller than most Thais.
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    (Original post by Rob da Mop)
    Yeah it's her life and she can do what she wants but she will have to face the consequences of that - she seems rather reliant on her mum housing her, if she won't any more then that's something she'll have to weigh up in the balance of whether going to Thailand's a good plan or not.



    Standing up to laws by protesting, writing to MPs, organising petitions = standing up to mum by discussing problems etc.

    Standing up to laws by breaking them in front of the police = unilaterally declaring a month in Thailand.
    This is a life experience she'll never forget. She can always live with a friend in the uk and besides she's going to uni. She can't let her mum control her forever. She's 19 ffs, things are unlikely to be better in the future are they?
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    [QUOTE=Annuhlees;42262355]My mum doesn't support me she just roofs me and it's my Gran who paid the mortgage. I think the last time she gave me dinner money was when I was 13? I had to pay for my holiday last year to see my sister etc.

    She wanted me to go to university what she picked (Cambridge!) because I live in Cambridgeshire (I'm a B/C grade student). I had to put up with her going crazy over me going to Portsmouth but she's luckily got over that one. She's a control freak, she wouldn't allow me to go so I just booked it. I knew it would take some time for her to come around; I thought she would just give me the silent treatment for a few days

    "My mum is a control freak" Perfect scenario for the jeremy kyle show, have you thought of applying?
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    My advice is that you ARE 18 therefore you can do whatever you want. You are an adult after all! I know that your mum is being controlling because she loves you, but it's not respectful behavior. And love should go hand in hand with respect.

    Yes, you are living under her roof, but that doesn't give her the right to black mail you about kicking you out. Would that logic apply to anyone else? If you had told us that you were living with your boyfriend and he was controlling your life and forbidding you from going where you want no body would say "well you're living under his roof, therefore his rules apply"

    Contact your university directly and ask them about housing options. Are you getting a student loan? That should be enough to cover accommodation, and you could probably find a part time job to cover all the extras.

    Don't be bullied into changing your plans... Bad things happen in every single country of the world. You could find a reason not to go anywhere ever based on that kind of logic.. If you act responsibly and stay in safe areas, the chances of something bad happening are slim! That being said, do be careful

    My advice is to calmly explain your trip to your mum, say that you are going, even if you have to move out. Tell her that by making you move out, she isn't changing your plans but simply punishing you for them by making your transition to university difficult. Don't yell or fight, and if she refuses to see reason, then accept her terms and move out. Get a job.. Make it work.

    As for turning your family against you, that's really not nice.. Try explaining yourself to them calmly, tell them what you plan to do and see on your holiday and why it's important for you to go. I'd be shocked if they still won't talk to you after that.

    Hope this helps!
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    (Original post by Michaelj)
    This is a life experience she'll never forget. She can always live with a friend in the uk and besides she's going to uni. She can't let her mum control her forever. She's 19 ffs, things are unlikely to be better in the future are they?
    As I said, it is her life, and if she thinks her life experience of going to Thailand is going to be worth couch surfing for a while, a complete breakdown of her relationship with her mum (and by extension probably the rest of her family) and all the difficulties with things like student finance that brings, not to mention awkwardness at any family events then sure, she can go for it. I just don't think a mini trip to find herself in south east Asia is worth it...
 
 
 
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