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Discovered online video of ex-girlfriend?! watch

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    Why on earth would you need "revenge"? You have no reason to and it would make you look pathetic.
    Look, rejection is hard and break ups are hard. But they are a part of life, and you need to learn how to deal with it, and to do so elegantly. And you were so caught up in your own emotions that you cannot see it for what it was. She did not cheat on you. She broke up with you, which everybody is entitled to do, and moved on. We don't always get closure, and half the time when someone is texting someone who broke up with them, they are simply longing for more contact, and the decent thing to do is cut them off. She has committed no crime, even if the break up could have handled slightly better for you personally. She is not obligated to stay single for a certain amount of time after the break up, nor stay in touch with you. You have to move on, start dating again, have no access to her information and forget about it. Talking about it along the lines of "the way she treated me" is ridiculous.
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    If she means nothing to you, then I don't see the problem with ruining her life.

    With that said, I don't imagine that it would ruin hr life. Almost everyone has photos and videos of themselves that they send to their partners.

    You may get more satisfaction out of sending it to her and telling her that other people might have seen it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Common sense is telling me to just ignore it, I'd forgotten about her completely lately but this incident has brought up past feelings.

    I've not spoken to her or any of her friends at all since the break-up and I've never met or spoken to new bf or anyone associated with him. He doesn't even know I existed- I live of the other side of the country. I don't see how someone is trying to tease me a year later, The video has a date upload stamp form 6 months ago too.

    I highly doubt she knows about the video, she portrays herself to be all prim and proper and knowing this was out there would horrify her- she wouldn't be using it to tease someone she broke up with a year ago.
    Trust me, it may seem as a good idea now, but the real question here is why would he send it to you? Is he intending on you to post it for him cause he has no guts? Maybe he's counting on your resentment.
    How was the video attained, who really knows?
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    Not wanting to be with you, however difficult it must have been for you, wasn't a crime and it doesn't sound as though your ex has really done anything that terrible to you. You need to move on from your feelings of anger/resentment, imo, I really don't think they sound very fair.

    As for this video - the least you do is ignore it. But actually, I think this kind of thing is extremely horrible and cruel, and very wrong. I would reply to the person who sent you it, reminding them that it is illegal and you will be contacting your ex and the police (even if this is a bluff). At least that is doing something. I'm not sure you should actually tell your ex about it as it's more likely to just really upset her than anything else.
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    Why on earth would you need "revenge"? You have no reason to and it would make you look pathetic.
    Look, rejection is hard and break ups are hard. But they are a part of life, and you need to learn how to deal with it, and to do so elegantly. And you were so caught up in your own emotions that you cannot see it for what it was. She did not cheat on you. She broke up with you, which everybody is entitled to do, and moved on. We don't always get closure, and half the time when someone is texting someone who broke up with them, they are simply longing for more contact, and the decent thing to do is cut them off. She has committed no crime, even if the break up could have handled slightly better for you personally. She is not obligated to stay single for a certain amount of time after the break up, nor stay in touch with you. You have to move on, start dating again, have no access to her information and forget about it. Talking about it along the lines of "the way she treated me" is ridiculous.
    Did you not read my post? I have moved on, I moved on a long time ago. I've not spoken to her since the day we broke up. I have no access to her at all.

    Out the blue, I have a link sending me to a site where she is getting it all out.

    I never claimed she cheated my point was that after 3 years it would have been civil of her to at least give a reason. She didn't, I accepted that and left it.

    So please, stop the patronising Dear Deirdre act.

    Maybe revenge is the wrong word, it implies that I'm bitter and filled with rage which really is not the case. I'm not going to get "revenge"- I don't even want to speak to her.

    The video is out there on a popular site, I'm sure someone will let her know anyway.
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    (Original post by Pigling)
    Not wanting to be with you, however difficult it must have been for you, wasn't a crime and it doesn't sound as though your ex has really done anything that terrible to you. You need to move on from your feelings of anger/resentment, imo, I really don't think they sound very fair.

    As for this video - the least you do is ignore it. But actually, I think this kind of thing is extremely horrible and cruel, and very wrong. I would reply to the person who sent you it, reminding them that it is illegal and you will be contacting your ex and the police (even if this is a bluff). At least that is doing something. I'm not sure you should actually tell your ex about it as it's more likely to just really upset her than anything else.
    As I said, I have moved on, I did so many months ago. I have no feelings of anger/resentment - just indifference.

    I am just going to ignore the video. The person who who sent me has deactivted their FB account so I can't contact them.

    I think "revenge" got misconstrued, It was never my intention to distribute this video, I merely wanted to know whether I should let her know of its existance.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As I said, I have moved on, I did so many months ago. I have no feelings of anger/resentment - just indifference.

    I am just going to ignore the video. The person who who sent me has deactivted their FB account so I can't contact them.

    I think "revenge" got misconstrued, It was never my intention to distribute this video, I merely wanted to know whether I should let her know of its existance.
    I'm sorry but you did actually say "should I use this to exact some sort of revenge?" which doesn't really hint at indifference does it? I don't think you can say that and then act surprised when people think you have a problem with your ex.

    But I'm glad you have chosen the right option now, so good luck to you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Did you not read my post? I have moved on, I moved on a long time ago. I've not spoken to her since the day we broke up. I have no access to her at all.

    Out the blue, I have a link sending me to a site where she is getting it all out.

    I never claimed she cheated my point was that after 3 years it would have been civil of her to at least give a reason. She didn't, I accepted that and left it.

    So please, stop the patronising Dear Deirdre act.

    Maybe revenge is the wrong word, it implies that I'm bitter and filled with rage which really is not the case. I'm not going to get "revenge"- I don't even want to speak to her.

    The video is out there on a popular site, I'm sure someone will let her know anyway.
    I did read your post. Twice. And it's what I based my response on.
    I never said that you said she cheated. I pointed out the fact the she never cheated as to reference she never have done anything wrong, or along the lines of cheating.
    The fact that you are thinking about "revenge", or whichever way you choose to phrase it, indicates not being over her.
    If I had received this kind of info on my ex, whom I am now completely over, I would have ignored, deleted and forgotten about it. If you want nothing to do with her, she doesn't owe you anything, you don't owe her anything, then there is nothing to discuss.
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    Be a normal person and just fap to the video and move on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As I said, I have moved on, I did so many months ago. I have no feelings of anger/resentment - just indifference.

    I am just going to ignore the video. The person who who sent me has deactivted their FB account so I can't contact them.

    I think "revenge" got misconstrued, It was never my intention to distribute this video, I merely wanted to know whether I should let her know of its existance.

    It really isn't worth getting revenge with this video, it would make you as bad as her, as you said the best thing to do is to ignore it.
    (Original post by Millie228)
    I did read your post. Twice. And it's what I based my response on.
    I never said that you said she cheated. I pointed out the fact the she never cheated as to reference she never have done anything wrong, or along the lines of cheating.
    The fact that you are thinking about "revenge", or whichever way you choose to phrase it, indicates not being over her.
    If I had received this kind of info on my ex, whom I am now completely over, I would have ignored, deleted and forgotten about it. If you want nothing to do with her, she doesn't owe you anything, you don't owe her anything, then there is nothing to discuss.
    I think you are being really harsh there.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Background:

    Around a year ago, my girlfriend of three years decided to break-up with me suddenly over the phone whilst we were both at different universities. She pretty much cut contact straight away without any closure and it took my ages to get over everything.

    She got a new boyfriend shortly afterwards who it turned out she met the night after broke up which was a further kick in the teeth. She never knew him before this night before people think she dumped me to be with him, I know this for certain.

    Now:

    A few days ago I got an anonymous message on FB from an account someone made for the sole purpose of sending me a link. The link was a video of my ex-girlfriend on a webcam stripping and making certain sexual gestures. I was thrown back at first because I have not spoken/seen/heard from her at all for over a year.

    I'm caught between whether to just ignore it or use this as some sort of revenge. I was cut up about how she treated me during the break-up. Post break-up, I texted her several times wanting a explanation for the the break-up but she ignored me outright and portrayed me to be a "weirdo" for pestering her.

    Should I leave it or use this to exact some kind of revenge?
    Just send it to her dad

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    If she's as bad as you've made her out to be, she may even hold you responsible and peg you as a:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    "weirdo"
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    I wouldn't use it as revenge, I'd simply let her know someone has sent it to you and be the better person.
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    What's the link?


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