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    If a guy cares for you then he will stay. Simple as. I found out that my ex girlfriend was extremely depressed and self abusive about 3 months into the relationship. She had scars and personally I loved the fact she could open up to me like that. Don't go obsessing over it cause honestly those types of scars can be easily accepted by someone who cares
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    (Original post by clonedmemories)
    You said that it's crazy and that you don't understand. I'm offering an explanation. By all means continue to think it's crazy; I'm just saying why it isn't.
    but she is crazy?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well you haven't answered my question. Would you find it a turn off if a girl had severely burnt legs from a fire? Or would you look past it because it wasn't her fault? It's not a case of not being able to look after herself, she clearly has a mental issue..it's not her fault.

    I wouldn't date a girl because I am female and straight. But I also would not find it a 'turn off' if someone had scarred legs. That is shallow.
    i dont see how picking up tweezers and doing that to your legs cannot be ur own fault?
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    (Original post by study beats)
    but she is crazy?
    But why is she crazy? Because she does something you don't like and consider abnormal? Like I just explained, there's a perfectly normal explanation for it.
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    (Original post by study beats)
    i dont see how picking up tweezers and doing that to your legs cannot be ur own fault?
    Because she has no control over doing it!

    Can she help her hormones? Can she help her genes? Can she help her cognitive processes?
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    (Original post by study beats)
    but she is crazy?
    Hardly.

    No more so than calling you crazy for your lack of understanding of a new topic to you, and your awful spelling ability.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have depression and a pretty abused life, still living through it. I am waiting till I get to uni to move out.

    Because of the depression, I tweez my legs hair and feels a bit happy when the roots come out. I have trichotillomania but I only like tweezing my lower legs hair. My lages are very ugly and covered in scars because of that.

    I have never had a boyfriend, but if I do and would he get disgusted by it. Even if I told him, it's because of the my depressed life and my mum's abuse, I know for sure he would leave me.

    can guys please answer this honestly, thank you.

    p.s. I have not told the whole story of my abuse.
    Anyone that would avoid you because of unsightly scars is someone not worth being with anyway.

    I suffer from trichotillomania as well and have done since I was about 9. I used to pull from my eye brows and eye lids but now it is more focused on my scalp and other areas.

    If you were to try CBT, your parents would not find out unless you tell them. Patient confidentiality should always be maintained; it is your business alone.

    I've never found help for it and have kind of accepted it. I used to find ways of diverting the compulsions to pull: i'd slap my head, play with string or wear gloves but got out of the habit of that and it didn't last very long, unfortunately.
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    How do you get scars from plucking hairs? It sounds more like self-harm to cope with abuse rather than an involuntary action of hair pulling.

    Personally, I wouldn't want to date someone with a mental illness that they're aware of but aren't attempting therapy. As for the scars, I couldn't care less.

    If you do request CBT, be sure to tell the mental health team "no letters home".
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    I see no reason why they would, I'm sure you will find someone who will love you unconditionally and help you get through it

    If they look down on you for that then they simply don't deserve you.
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    (Original post by No No)
    How do you get scars from plucking hairs? It sounds more like self-harm to cope with abuse rather than an involuntary action of hair pulling.
    From my own experience, when you're plucking into the skin - for example, if you have a hair that's not yet come through the skin but you can see beneath it - it can open the skin, at times causing it to bleed and this might be what's leaving the scars. I can't say whether OP does this, but it's the way I'm familiar with that could leave them.

    Then again, I might not be the best person to judge on this one as, although I do, at times, pluck at my legs, the vast majority of the scars I have there are from a skin condition.
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    I might be wary if you came out with it early just because you sound like you might be hard work (based on nothing but stupid prejudice).

    However, if we were in a relationship and you explained it I wouldn't run a mile at all. I might not 'like' it, but nobody is perfect; I'm sure I have habits which creep out my gf.


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    I have trich (eyebrows and lashes) and also self harm scars (7-8 months old so starting to fade but still obvious, on thighs and tops of arms) and the guy I'm seeing, when he found out, was very understanding. I suppose it all comes down to finding the right person who can see past it. Some will not handle it well, some will.
    • #3
    #3

    Does trichotillomania necessarily go hand-in-hand with another mental illness? Because it would really explain my behaviour.

    Basically I do this exact thing but to my pubic area, so that now if I shave or wax you can see that I have hundreds of little scars like pox-marks all over my pubic hair area. I'm not obsessed like I constantly ant to do it, but I do start doing it basically whenever I'm naked from the waist-down and alone (like in the bathroom). For roughly the last two years I've never had a day without at least one or two open sores "down there" from where I've been tweezing and scratching hairs out (like OP I find it super satisfying when I get the root out too). Right now I have about twelve sores from tweezing and digging hairs out.

    Recently I shaved down there and it was only then that I realised the extent of damage I'd done to myself and saw how many scars I had and I was heartbroken, I was worried people would think I had an STD. It started when I first started waxing down there and got a few ingrown hairs and since then I cannot stop!

    The thing is. apart from a lot of stress I don't have depression or any other mental illnesses, so does that mean I don't have trichotillomania I'm just a bit weird?
    • #3
    #3

    OP I went out with a person who had depression for a while and personally it was a toxic and very difficult relationship that I ultimately couldn't handle, and as a result of my experiences I don't think I'd ever date someone again who I knew had a mental illness.

    Having said that, the person I dated now has another girlfriend who he's been with for over a year and they're very happy, so obviously it depends on the person and whether or not they have the personal capacity to deal with your good and bad days! Everyone's different and there are plenty of people who wouldn't be put off by your depression or self harm
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Does trichotillomania necessarily go hand-in-hand with another mental illness? Because it would really explain my behaviour.

    Basically I do this exact thing but to my pubic area, so that now if I shave or wax you can see that I have hundreds of little scars like pox-marks all over my pubic hair area. I'm not obsessed like I constantly ant to do it, but I do start doing it basically whenever I'm naked from the waist-down and alone (like in the bathroom). For roughly the last two years I've never had a day without at least one or two open sores "down there" from where I've been tweezing and scratching hairs out (like OP I find it super satisfying when I get the root out too). Right now I have about twelve sores from tweezing and digging hairs out.

    Recently I shaved down there and it was only then that I realised the extent of damage I'd done to myself and saw how many scars I had and I was heartbroken, I was worried people would think I had an STD. It started when I first started waxing down there and got a few ingrown hairs and since then I cannot stop!

    The thing is. apart from a lot of stress I don't have depression or any other mental illnesses, so does that mean I don't have trichotillomania I'm just a bit weird?
    No, I don't think it goes hand in hand with other disorders. However, interestingly, I suffer from trichotillomania, nail biting and cheek biting all together!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Does trichotillomania necessarily go hand-in-hand with another mental illness? Because it would really explain my behaviour.

    Basically I do this exact thing but to my pubic area, so that now if I shave or wax you can see that I have hundreds of little scars like pox-marks all over my pubic hair area. I'm not obsessed like I constantly ant to do it, but I do start doing it basically whenever I'm naked from the waist-down and alone (like in the bathroom). For roughly the last two years I've never had a day without at least one or two open sores "down there" from where I've been tweezing and scratching hairs out (like OP I find it super satisfying when I get the root out too). Right now I have about twelve sores from tweezing and digging hairs out.

    Recently I shaved down there and it was only then that I realised the extent of damage I'd done to myself and saw how many scars I had and I was heartbroken, I was worried people would think I had an STD. It started when I first started waxing down there and got a few ingrown hairs and since then I cannot stop!

    The thing is. apart from a lot of stress I don't have depression or any other mental illnesses, so does that mean I don't have trichotillomania I'm just a bit weird?
    It can be, but it doesn't have to be! ICDs, the group trichotillomania belongs to, is a category of mental illness in itself. Therefore, if you wanted to seek treatment for it, you could do so. I think it falls somewhere in the anxiety disorder group.

    With shaving down there, I tend to do it most of the time anyway as I just prefer the feeling of it. However, if I feel like the scarring is too much, I try my best to let it grow out for a few weeks to let the marks heal over. It was difficult the first couple of times, but if you set yourself a time goal, say, two weeks, and then shave again, it's great for self-confidence as well as letting your skin heal up. And I'm sure that if you explain it to a partner they'll understand
    • #1
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    (Original post by study beats)
    but she is crazy?
    It really hurts when you say that, but I can understand why you would label me as "crazy". It is not your fault for your lack of psychology knowledge, but unfortunately these disorders are not taken seriously and made aware as other medical illnesses.

    Forgive me, if I am wrong but you are from an Asian background, where they label anyone going through the same thing as me "crazy", it is a cultural thing. I am from an Asian background and I have seen how they treat people there. They would lock them up and call them crazy, until those patients kill themselves.

    Someone said why I have not bothered with the treatments, it is because I was scared what would happen to me if my family finds out, but now I know I can do it without them knowing. It is sad when I cannot tell my own mum because she'll say I have "shamed" her.
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    Good luck with therapy.
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    I know this sounds cliched but I judge a girl by her personality rather than looks, plus this might sound slightly weird, but I think that some scars are sexy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It really hurts when you say that, but I can understand why you would label me as "crazy". It is not your fault for your lack of psychology knowledge, but unfortunately these disorders are not taken seriously and made aware as other medical illnesses.

    Forgive me, if I am wrong but you are from an Asian background, where they label anyone going through the same thing as me "crazy", it is a cultural thing. I am from an Asian background and I have seen how they treat people there. They would lock them up and call them crazy, until those patients kill themselves.

    Someone said why I have not bothered with the treatments, it is because I was scared what would happen to me if my family finds out, but now I know I can do it without them knowing. It is sad when I cannot tell my own mum because she'll say I have "shamed" her.

    I have been called crazy too, I have a disorder too..private message only though
 
 
 
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