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He will never say 'I love you'? Watch

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    You need to find some way of talking to him about it. When I read the first bit of your post I was going to tell you to just come out with it, but then I read what he said about not having all of the gooey "I love you so much" stuff. I agree with the above post - bring it up by asking him what he meant by that, because to me it's a bit of a weird thing to say to someone you've been going out with for a year. Sure, you might not be a really 'soppy' person or be really gushing about it, but if you love someone you should let them know because you never know what's going to happen and one day it might be too late! Obviously it should be said at the right time but from the sounds of it you're really close and I'd have expected to hear it by now if I was you.

    I ended up feeling like I wanted to say it to my boyfriend after about 3 months, but was too scared to in case he didn't feel as strongly. I hinted at it once, by telling him about how one of my relatives had said that it mustn't be love because we hadn't spoken to each other on the phone while we'd been apart over the holidays, to which he replied "do you think it is?" and I was deliberately vague and said I didn't know, even though by that point I pretty much did. We ended up having a weird night the night after where he said he didn't want to see me because he had a cold and was generally being really moody and not talkative, and I got really upset because being the anxious idiot that I am I thought that meant he didn't want to be with me anymore, and was tempted to go round to his flat and just say it but I didn't because I thought I might regret it. We made up and the next night I asked him what he thought about my relatives saying it mustn't be love and he just came out with it - "I think they're wrong; I think it is...I love you". I told him later that I'd wanted to say it for a while and he said he thinks he said it when he was ready because he wasn't sure what love felt like and wanted to be sure before he said it because it's not really something that you can take back once its been said.

    Maybe he's just thinking about it like my boyfriend was? Although having said that it seems like he's had a long term relationship before; mine hadn't. He could be scared that you wouldn't say it back or that you wouldn't feel that way too. Or he might just not have fallen in love with you properly yet and not feel ready to say it. Even though you don't want anything to ruin things, I think you should tell him to be honest with you about it because it's really bothering you and you'd like some clarity on how he feels because you can't work it out.

    As for those who've posted in this thread and said that guys just don't say "I love you", my boyfriend says it often, probably more so than I do. Even after this long it still hasn't lost its meaning to me; in fact it probably means more every time he says it.
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    Personally, I find it hard to say it.

    In fact, I don't even say it to my parents and I'm not entirely sure why? It may not be that he doesn't love you, it may just be that he's similar to me in that he finds it incredibly difficult to say in any situation - (and yes, I DO love my parents).

    I don't know!

    :creep:
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    Ive been with my boyfriend for over 18 months and the first time he said he loved me in a proper way was last saturday. Neither of us like to use the i love you soppy gooey stuff but when he said it last weekedn my god i nearly died because I actually knew he meant it and it was one of the most special moments of my life.

    Some people cant be rushed my boyfriend and I dont say it now everyday we'd say it if one of us was going away or on special occasions thats it dont rush him. I said Loved my boyfriend after only 6 months !i had to wait for 18 for him to say it back but it was worth it
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    I'd known my boyfriend a year and a half before we were officially going out. He said he loved me a couple of weeks into the relationship. I said I wasn't there yet and it took me another five months to say it! Let me tell you, that was awkwaaaaard few months. :rolleyes: He often looked glum after that when he was clearly saying some substitute like "you're so great" or even "I want to tell you something but I can't." But in the end, when I did say it, he said it meant so much more. Because after I'd taken that time, he knew I was really sure. Even said that he wished he'd waited longer himself.

    Seriously, some people just put more emphasis on the phrase and take far longer to say it. Six weeks into an official relationship is still very early days. Some people don't mind using the phrase so early, but if you're someone who reserves it for only a very select group, then it's too quick. I understand what your boyfriend is saying and I would definitely be wary of saying it now, partly because I did that in an early relationship of mine and it made the breakup far more catastrophic than it should have been, given the timeframe. The fact that you've known each other longer don't make much difference I don't think, because it's only when you commit you really start thinking about these things. A year of dating isn't the same as a year in a relationship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wasn't going to do this anon, but chickened out and decided to in the end :/

    I've "officially" been with my boyfriend for about 6 weeks. That is, that's when we first spoke about the boyfriend/girlfriend labels. But we've been dating since last June/July time and over the months its progressed into a very close relationship.

    Despite all these months, things still very much feel in the honeymoon stage and will probably remain that way for a long time to come too. That is why we are so good together, and I love him.

    Recently, ever since we properly labelled things, I've felt the "next step" is for him/us to tell one another we love each other. I know that might sound like something you don't plan or wait for, and yes I agree. But that's the problem. I feel like because it hasn't been said all this time (nearly a year now!), there's some taboo around it for whatever reason. You know once you don't do something and leave loads of time, it becomes harder and more awkward and difficult to actually do in the end?

    The advice I myself would give to anyone who posted this thread would be to tell him and just spit it out or bring it up. But I can't do that, which is where to problem continues. I don't want a rejection, or for him to say it back when he doesn't proper mean it, or for things to then become different. So, if he rejected me, things may become awkward and I could even subconsciously be perceived as the "in love desperate one" which could change his attitude towards me. He could invest less into the relationship if he feels secure that I'm even less unlikely to leave him. Besides, I just don't know how I'd come out with it.

    I have no idea what he is thinking. I'm sure he must have thought about it at least once by now, no? Boys you can help me into his mind on that one? I have no idea whether he's just not ready, or he's thinking the exact same things as me in terms of embarrassment and fear of rejection.

    Yesterday we were texting about my friend who broke up with her boyfriend after about 3 weeks of being together, where he told her he loved her about a week after they'd met. They proceeded to argue within about 10 days of knowing each other then broke up. He said things along the line of "he clearly didn't love her then, glad we don't have all that ****". And I replied saying "what ****?", and he said "all that I love you so much stuff".

    My friends suggested he meant that he's glad we didn't rush into all that gooey stuff when it wasn't meant properly, but I just took it to mean that he's glad we don't tell each other we love each other and are intimate in that verbal way. It kind of hurt and suggested he's never ever going to say it be happy if I said it.

    I don't really have a question...I just...I dunno. Just want thoughts I guess? Like I said, because it's normally said between couples within the first few months, now after all this time it's like there's all this fear and awkwardness and it's so so much harder to bring up. I can't let anything ruin things.
    only read half of it, guessed the rest. what do you mean "he rejects you"?? doesnt that mean he doesnt love you?? if no then what the hell does it mean? if yes then is it not better to find out sooner??
    why do you torture yourself? just tell him, see his reaction and get it over with best of luck
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    (Original post by homayoun)
    only read half of it, guessed the rest. what do you mean "he rejects you"?? doesnt that mean he doesnt love you?? if no then what the hell does it mean? if yes then is it not better to find out sooner??
    why do you torture yourself? just tell him, see his reaction and get it over with best of luck
    I don't think your guess was entirely accurate, my friend. I didn't say he rejects me! I said I feared rejection.
 
 
 
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